Emily Taylor
English Coursework
1st July 2009, Wednesday.
Cane Hill.
Chapter One.
They say I’m ill. They say I’ll be back soon though. ‘I feel fine!’ I tell them. But they don’t listen, nobody ever listens to me. They just say ‘It’s in your mind’. I don’t understand why they say it’s in my mind though. It’s not exactly going to be in theirs. Is it?
They say they’re taking me to a pretty place. Somewhere I can be happy. But I ask my friends about it, and they say to leave. To not let them take me. When I inform neighbours of where I’m going for my little ‘break’ (as they call it) , people look shocked, and walk away from me. Other people give me dirty looks. One person even spat on me! I didn’t understand why though.
At school, the other girls and boys call me names. Names like ‘looney’ and ‘weirdo’. I don’t like it when they call me names. It makes me angry. When I’m angry, Jane comes. I don’t like Jane. It’s Jane’s fault that I can’t stay here with Johnny and Bobbie. Bobbie is much younger than me, she’s just five. She cries a lot, she’s my sister though so I’ve got to love her. Even if she wakes me up in the night! Johnny is my big brother, he’s sixteen. Johnny’s the one that looks out for me, he’s the only one that understands. I heard Johnny & Daddy shouting this morning. I wondered what was going on and so I listened outside the kitchen door as they were sat at the table. Daddy had told Johnny where I was going. Johnny was crying. I don’t like it when Johnny’s upset. Because I’m only eleven, I can’t help him; especially as he’s so much taller than me. Since I couldn’t help Johnny, Jane came. Jane and I just kept listening in on their conversation. Dad told Johnny that me going away was for the best. Johnny told Daddy that sending me away wasn’t going to help, and that at a time like this, what I needed was to be closer to the family, not further away, he told Dad that Mum wouldn’t have sent me away.
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Is Bertha the Inner Fire of Jane Eyre? Jane Eyre is one of the prominent pieces of literature, written by famous English writer Charlotte Bronte. In this essay I would like to cover this story and particularly the relationship between Jane and Bertha, who are the two of main characters of the novel. At first glance let us briefly look at the whole story as it goes. Young Jane Eyre was orphaned and ...
Daddy shouted at Johnny he said “Don’t you tell me how to parent my children! When you’re my age with three children a widower, with plenty of problems, then you can tell me what to do.” Johnny never shouts back, I think deep down he’s scared, so he did his usual and just ran upstairs to his bedroom. Daddy always shouts. Only ever since Mummy went to heaven though. Daddy told me that I have sinned and that I’m a bad person. But I didn’t mean to hurt those people. It’s not my fault, Jane tells me that if I don’t do what she says then I’ll go to hell, and not to heaven. Daddy says mummy’s gone to heaven, and that heaven’s a better place. Except he says the place I’m going on holiday he says is a better place, and Jane says that it’s a bad place. Everybody except from Dad and Aunty Lynne says that it’s a bad place. So maybe heaven isn’t a nice place at all. But what do I know? I’m an ill little girl, with the whole world sat on her shoulders. I don’t know half as much as what Jane thinks I do really.
Jane is really pretty. She looks just like Mummy. Mummy never did anything to hurt me, she never lied either. Maybe that’s why I always do as Jane says. Jane, just like Mummy, has long, dark curly hair. When the sun shines it gleams and sparkles. Just like her deep blue twinkling eyes. Her skin, fair with a few freckles. Her lips, plum and red. Jane always says she will read me a story and tuck me in like Mummy used to if I do what she says. She never does though. When I do something really naughty for her, she even says she’ll play with my hair and give me a kiss before bed. She never does that either though. Because Jane’s lips are the exact same as mum’s, I bet she gives kisses the same as Mum used to. Soft and gentle, but with so much love and care at the same time. Perfect.. I miss Mummy. Dad says that I’ll be back before I know it when I leave, I hope Mummy’s back soon too.
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Thoreau believed in "Living deep and sucking all the marrow out of life," and so he lived on Walden Pond for two years to see how he could simplify in order to live to the fullest. I have created my own "Walden," a place I could retire in order to escape the materialism of my society. The place that I created to go where there is no materialism and I can be myself and be who I want to be is a ...
Chapter Two.
”Libby, Libby?” I opened my eyes. There was Johnny standing over my bed. “Good morning, beautiful.” He said, as he looked down on me with a beaming smile. “How are you feeling today?”
”I’m Okay.” I replied, smiling back at him. “Am I going on holiday today?”
”Yes lovely. That’s why I’ve come to wake you up.”
“ I’m going to miss you Johnny.”
”I’ll miss you too Lib’” he paused, “A lot actually.”
”When will I come back?”
” I don’t know, not long though.” He paused again. “Come on, go and have a wash and I’ll take your bags to the car.”
”But Johnny I don’t want to go.” All of a sudden, tears started streaming down my face.
”Oh baby, don’t cry. You’ll have fun.”
I told him I wasn’t stupid, and that I knew it wasn’t going to be nice. I explained that I do get told things. Johnny looked sad. Helpless. I know that if he could do anything about it, he wouldn’t let me go. So I simply hugged him, and he wiped the tears from my cheeks.
”Now, I’ll go and take your bags to the car and make you some breakfast while dad’s on the phone.”
”Why? Who’s on the phone?”
”The people you’re going to stay with sunshine. He’s just telling them to be expecting you for around twelve o’clock.”
”Oh, okay. Well you go downstairs then and I’ll have a wash and get dressed.”
Johnny left the room and I got changed.
After I was dressed I went down the steep, wooden stairs and followed our lemon hallway through passing all the photos of me, Bobbie, Johnny, Daddy and Mummy hung on the walls and noticed where my baby photo used to be, it had been removed.
I walked through, into the kitchen and sat at the right-hand side of the table on the wobbly chair where Mummy used to sit, next to Johnny.
Nobody spoke. It annoyed me. They weren’t telling me something. I know when they’re hiding things from me, I may be little but I’m not stupid.
Disaster. Jane was here. Why did she have to come now? I was trying to prove to them that there was nothing wrong with me. That I’m just like any other little girl. I didn’t want to go. Now I’m definitely going away, because she’s here. I hope she doesn’t make me do anything bad.
I whispered to Johnny “She’s here.” He knew what I meant straight away. He tried to make conversation but we were eating, and Daddy didn’t like us to speak when we were eating. He told Johnny to be quiet and wait until everyone had finished breakfast. Johnny got angry and this started an argument. This just made me more angry and Jane started whispering things in my ear. “Throw your plate at Daddy”, “Push the table over”, “Take Bobbie’s toy off her”, “Tell Johnny you hate him”, “Tell them you’re glad Mummy died”.
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It was late afternoon on a Saturday in March; I am at home with my dad. The sun is shining so bright, the birds are singing, such a beautiful spring day. Tomorrow is Easter and I just baked a cake to take to church for the Sunday school class that I teach. A bunny rabbit, ears, nose, eyes, whiskers, so precise, the children will love it. As I am in the hot kitchen, working away to create my ...
”No!” I screamed. “Go away! Leave me alone. PLEASE leave me alone!”
Everybody stared at me. “Stop looking at me!” They sat gaping at me. Johnny held me in his arms. Rocking me. Telling me to calm down. Saying everything will be okay. Just breathe.
”Still think she should stay Johnny?” Dad asked Johnny sarcastically.
Dad stood up, took our dishes away and threw them in the sink.
”I was going to take you to the park before we left but forget it you can get in the car and we’ll go straight there. Why can’t you be normal like the other kids?” Dad said to me angrily.
”I am normal. It’s not my fault.” I replied.
”Well it’s not my fault, so why should I have to put up with you? Get in the car, NOW.”
I ran outside with tears flowing down my face, picking up my bags on the way.
I heard everybody rush up. Johnny put Bobbie in the car and then got in the car himself and sat next to me. He wrapped his arm around me weaving in a Moses basket and whispered he loved me in my ear.
Dad got in the drivers seat and we set off.
Dad wouldn’t look at me on the way there. I think he felt guilty. But he didn’t know what to say to make it all better.
As we were leaving the village I was thinking. I realised that I know I’m different. I also realised that it wasn’t Daddy’s fault and that I shouldn’t blame him for sending me away. Daddy just can’t cope with me being ill, loosing his wife who was his whole world, trying to keep up with the housework, attempting to earn money and trying to bring up his other two children all at the same time.
Maybe it is for the best that I’m going away, but when can I come home?
Only one person might know the answer to that, and that’s Dad.
”Daddy, when can I come home?” I asked my father.
”A few months maybe.”
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The purpose of this assignment is to compare and contrast the current literature related to advanced nursing practice. And to relate this literature to my practice and the role of the palliative care nurse across clinical settings. In my current role as a pain nurse specialist, I am involved in the care and management of patients with intrathecal (IT) catheters mainly for patients with intractable ...
Months? I didn’t want to go for a day never mind months. Nobody spoke for the rest of the journey.
Chapter 3.
“Here we are.” Dad said nervously as we pulled into a large manor house. As we drove down the long winding drive onto the front of the building I saw a man and a woman. The woman had a short pale blue cotton polo dress on and a long white long sleeved coat over the top with pockets at the bottom on either side and one over her heart. There hanging from the top pocket was a watch and on the opposite side a round logo, split into four, each section had a different pattern on. Along the top on the logo had printed Cane Hill Hospital. Hospital? It doesn’t sound like a holiday destination to me. Along the bottom of the logo it read ‘aversos compound animos’ I have no idea what it means, but that’s what it read. I guessed that the woman was a nurse of some sort. How can they fix me if it’s ‘in my mind’? Nurses fix bodies not minds.
Dad parked the car and Johnny told me that I’d be back soon and not to worry, that Dad was only bringing me here because he loves me. We got out of the car and Johnny walked round to the other door and got Bobbie out of the car. Bobbie is so young. She doesn’t understand what’s going on really. Well, neither did I. I didn’t know where I was, what I was doing here or when I could go home. I wanted to go home now. Daddy lifted me out the car and walked me to the nurse and the man stood by her.
As Dad put me down, I tried to hold on to his neck I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want him to leave me. The nurse knelt down beside me “Hello Libby.” She said with a fake smile across her face, “Come with me lovely, and we’ll find you a bed.”
”NO!” I screamed as I ran to Daddy and held a tight grip to his leg.
”Come on dear, I shan’t be messed around.” Said the nurse.
”Johnny, Daddy, please don’t make go with them!”
”Don’t be silly, Daddy and Johnny have to go home now, they’ll come and visit soon now come on in and I’ll make you a drink.”
”Go on precious” whispered Daddy “ I’ll come back soon, don’t make me get angry.”
I looked around for Johnny. He wasn’t stood there anymore, he’d gone and sat back in the car. Maybe he just wanted rid of me after all, and so if my Johnny didn’t care, then I may as well just go with them. I let go of Dad’s leg and sat on the step leading to the Hospital. Daddy sat by me and gave me a kiss goodbye, then off he went back to the car.
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Jane does grow in the book Jane Eyre. The theme of the book is Janes continual quest for love. Jane searches for acceptance through the five settings where she lives: Gateshead, Lowood, Thornfield, Moor House and Ferndean. Through these the maturation and self-recognition of Jane becomes traceable. It is not until she runs from Rochester and Thornfield that she realizes what she really wants. Jane ...
There I sat in silence. Tears again running down from my lime green eyes, water stuck in between my long, dark eyelashes. My small hands shaking in fright. Watching my father, my sister and my brother, my idol drive away and leave me for what could be forever for all I know. I was heart broke.
The man, who I later found out was Mr Topping, the anaesthetic at the hospital stood me up and the nurse took hold of my hand and took me in the elevator.
Whilst we were in the elevator I asked the nurse where I was. She replied by telling me I was in an asylum.
”What’s an asylum?” I asked. She told me it was a place where mental people go to get better.
Mental? Like messed in the head? Mad? I’m not mental. She’s the mental one if she thinks I’m mad. It’s Jane that’s mad, not me. Why do I always get the blame for Jane’s naughtiness? My blood started to boil.
Speak of the devil. Jane came.
She told me that if I hurt the nurse she’d make Daddy come back.
At that moment in time. All I wanted was for daddy to come back.
In the nurse’s pocket, I could see an injection. As she turned to open the door, I sneaked the injection out of her pocket. She turned back round and took my hand. In my other hand I had the injection. I started to cry. “What’s the matter?” The nurse asked me as she bent over to my height. I took the needle and stabbed it in her chest. She instantly fell to the floor and I lay by her telling her I was sorry. Jane was still there. I told Jane to go and get Daddy. She stood laughing at me. She called me pathetic. I took the injection from the nurses body and went to stab Jane too, but within a second, she disappeared.
Chapter four.
”RING RING. RING RING.” A bell was ringing. I opened my eyes and sat myself up in bed. “Dad?” I shouted “Dad, Johnny, Bobbie? Where are you? Where am i?”
A woman came running in. I recognised the logo on he dress. It was a nurse. Oh. I remembered where I was.
”Miss, is the nurse from yesterday okay?” I asked the tall, blonde, pretty nurse infront of me
”She’s in the doctors presence at the moment. She will recover soon.” She said egily.
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Jane Eyre, compare and contras In the novel Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte, Jane encounters two men of considerable power that profoundly change her life. One man, Edmund Rochester, is the love of her life, however, he is in an unfortunate marriage with a savage woman. The second man, St. John Rivers, will not be able to fulfill Janes emotional needs and desires like Rochester can. Janes ...
”No need to worry miss. I won’t hurt you. Jane isn’t here. You’re much prettier than the nurse yesterday anyway, so I wouldn’t want to hurt you.”
”Jane?”
”Yes, she comes when I’m angry. I’m not angry though either, so she won’t come.” The nurse seemed to be frightened of me. She wouldn’t sit on my grimy, grey bed, instead she just stood there looking at me. Twiddling her skinny thumbs, scratching at the top of the gleaming white tips of her nails.
I looked around me. I wasn’t the only person here. There was other people on this ward too. But not one of them was my age. Most of them looked rather old. As if they could die any second! I couldn’t see outside. There was no room at the window. I couldn’t even sit on the window pane, because there wasn’t one! The window was that small it’s not got enough room for a window pane. They’re just little slits in the walls. All the walls were rotting away and there are no pictures for me to look at either. How bored was I going to be, stuck in here all the time? The only thing to look forward to was the weekly dance, and that’s only once a week!
The nurse told me that I was going to go and meet the doctor this morning. So I had to get up and get dressed. I stood up out of bed & found my self standing on glass. Something has smashed in the night and I stood on all the broken bits! I looked down as my feet. They were covered in blood. I screamed and the nurse picked me up and put me back into bed. As I lay there trying not to cry the nurse lifted up my leg and wiped away the pieces of glass stuck in my foot. After she cleaned my leg she left the room. A while later she came back with a wheelchair. She said that she was going to take me to the doctor now. I pulled my weak self up to sitting position, swung my tired legs around and shuffled over to the wheelchair. When I was sat comfortably the nurse spun me round and rolled me out of the ward. She took me back in the elevator. There was blood stains splattered against the walls. I felt sick.
