Alex Bobotis
11-29-09
SPCM 1500
MWF 3:35-4:25
An Assessment of My Inherited Communication Behaviors
We are in a constant state of learning. We take in the environment around us, and it ultimately has a strong influence on the kind of person that we become. This is especially true in the family aspect of our lives. In our adolescent years, we watch every move of our mothers and fathers, taking in anything they do. Who we are is largely determined by our genetic makeup and is expressed through personality traits, but learned behaviors from our surroundings also play an important part. It is obvious, then, that our parents are the primary sources of these learned behaviors. Growing up, we observe and perceive countless conversations and interactions that our parents participate in. In many instances, we take the characteristics that we observe and make them our own, and they eventually show up in our communication patterns. Although my communication behavior partly stems from my personality traits, much of my ability to communicate can be traced to the behavior of my parents.
My mother, Stella Bobotis, was born and raised in Greenville, South Carolina. I thoroughly enjoy listening to her speak; she has just the right amount of Southern drawl on her accent. My mother is a very efficient and effective communicator. When she speaks, she seems to have a certain flow and organization to her words that I have always admired. The words and manner in which she uses to communicate are clear and comprehensible. Rarely will I see my mother encounter someone and there be any sort of confusion as to what is being said. While my mother’s communication methods have had an impact on my verbal communication, her biggest influence has been on my writing. During my middle and high school years, I would often ask my mother to proofread my papers and correct them. I would always hand her the paper thinking I had done a good job, and little or no changes were needed. When I received the paper back, I would always be astonished at how she was able to communicate so effectively and precisely in her writing. My former sentences seemed to fail in comparison to how she was able to organize her words and make everything come together. One of the aspects of my writing that my mother was adamant about was grammar.
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When my paper was returned, it would be riddled with what seemed to be an endless amount of punctuation marks. I believe that my mother was so critical of my grammar usage because she understood that my ability to correct and better organize my ideas and thoughts would develop as I grew older, and that the ability to correctly use grammar should be established during my younger years. Her constructive criticism of my writing has largely shaped the way I communicate through written language. I have become efficient at being able to spot grammatical errors and fixing them, which is largely attributed to my mother’s scrutiny. When I have completed writing an e-mail, I proofread it multiple times to make sure of no grammatical and syntax errors. One of the most peculiar effects that my mother’s communication behavior has had on me is in regards to text messaging. When texting, I find myself constructing sentences as if I was writing a paper. The first letter of the first word always is capitalized, and I always end my last sentence with a period. I have tried using abbreviations and other common texting methods before, but I seem to keep reverting back to my old ways. I consider myself to be an effective communicator in regards to writing, and I do not think I would be such without my mother’s actions.
While my mother provided the primary influence for my written communication, most of the way that I communicate verbally can be attributed to my father, Harry Bobotis. My father grew up in the Greek community, as did I. Watching him communicate on Sundays after our church services is impressive. He can communicate efficiently with virtually anybody that is present. It is not the fact that he can do this that impresses me the most, but the manner in which he does it. His words are warm and courteous, and rarely will you find him without a smile on his face. I can tell that people truly enjoy conversing with him. When I am engaged in a conversation with someone, I find myself smiling most of the time, largely because my father does it often in his conversations. One of the main things that I admire about him is the way that he communicates in his professional life. My father is an endodontist, which is a specialized type of dentist who performs root canals. He typically deals with ten to fifteen patients a day, sometimes even fifteen to twenty. Every night, usually around seven-thirty or eight o’clock, he will sit down and call every single patient that he saw that day, asking how they are doing and if they have any questions.
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There are not many medical professionals that take the time to call every one of their patients to check up on them, and I admire my father for doing that. Listening to a conversation he is having with one of his patients, I can tell that he is expressing genuine care and concern for their well being. This habit of his has had a significant effect on my communication behavior. Although it is somewhat tough to keep up with friends from high school that do not go to the University of Georgia, I try to the best of my abilities to give my congratulations to a friend on his or her birthday. If a friend of mine is sick or injured, I tend to give them a call to see how they are recovering. Another communication characteristic that I have learned from him is the differing way he communicates in regards to his professional life and his life with family and friends. When my father is around people that he is familiar with, he is extremely witty, funny, and very entertaining. When dealing with his patients or other professionals, he is respectful and uses language that instills confidence. I imagine that when my father’s patients end their phone conversation with him, they are feeling more relieved and secure than when they left his office. Although I may not have entirely inherited his confidence in speaking, his actions motivate me to become a more confident speaker. My father’s care for his patients and his ability to efficiently communicate has played a large role in shaping my verbal communication.
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Although my communication behavior has been substantially shaped by my parents, I do not believe that I am replicating their behavior. My father is one of the most social individuals that I have ever seen. I feel as if he could walk up to anyone on the street and have a meaningful conversation with them. I have not been able to gain the confidence that my father has; I feel that I am a little more selective of who I choose to have a conversation with. However, watching him interact with others has shown me that over time, I might be able to develop that kind of confidence. My mother, on the other hand, could be engaged in a conversation for hours. I enjoy a lengthy conversation, but it comes to a point where I run out of things to talk about it. Instead of replicating their behavior, I feel that I have taken certain communication characteristics from my parents and made them my own. Although I do not have a professional career at the moment, I plan on treating my patients, clients, or co-workers in the same manner that my father treats his associates. I also hope to continue to communicate in a clear and perceptible manner, as my mother has been doing for most of her life. If I ever have a family of my own in the future, I hope to set a good example, especially in regards to communication, so that they have an opportunity to inherit some of my communication characteristics, as I have inherited characteristics from my parents.
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