How to Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
Communication 4: Saying “NO”
Grades 7 and 8, Lesson #19 Time Needed One class period or less
Student Learning Objectives To be able to… 1. Formulate an assertive refusal.
Agenda 1. Quickly re-read the Story of Logan from Lesson 16. 2. Use the Saying “No” Reference Sheet to introduce the three steps in an assertive refusal. 3. Summarize the steps with Communication Transparency 2: Saying “No.” 4. Play the Refusal Game. 5. Assign homework.
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
Materials Needed: Classroom Materials: • Communication Transparency 2 • Refusal Game Cards • Advanced Refusal Game Cards Student Materials: (1 per student) • The Story of Logan (from Lesson 16, “should” already be in students’ notebooks) • Saying No Reference Sheet • Family Homework Exercise: Communication 4 • Communication Worksheet 5
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
Activities 1. Have students get out their copies of The Story of Logan (from Lesson 11) and re-read the first part of it quickly (the part with the actual story).
The Essay on Effects Of Junk And Nutritious Foods To The Health Of The Students
A. Background of the Study Junk food is a derisive slang term for food that is of little nutritional value and often high in fat, sugar, salt, and calories.[1][2][3] It is widely believed that the term was coined by Michael Jacobson, director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, in 1972.[4] Junk foods typically contain high levels of calories from sugar or fat with little protein, ...
2. Hand out the Saying “No” Reference Sheet and read it aloud while students follow along, or have them read it silently. 3. Summarize the steps with Communication Transparency 2: Saying “No.” 4. Play the Refusal Game. a. You will have made 32 refusal game cards (two copies of each of four pages, cut each page into four parts, making 32 slips of paper) with 16 different situations. b. Have the class pair off with the same partners they’ve been using. Give each person a refusal game card. Explain that the game starts with Step 2 (refusing).
Have them use their Saying “No” Reference Sheets for ideas and fill a refusal in the blank. c. Read or role play, as before. If you role play, encourage three assertive behaviors: • Eye contact • A loud enough voice to be heard clearly • Hands raised in refusal Note that assertiveness in general, and especially these behaviors, may be considered rude in some cultures. Averting one’s eyes may be a sign of respect. Be sensitive to cultural differences. d. You will have also made 32 advanced refusal game cards (eight copies of the page, cut into fourths, so you have 32 identical slips) containing three blanks for the entire refusal model. e. Give each person one advanced refusal game card. Have them fill in an entire response to their situation (from the other slip).
f. Read or role play the answers.
Homework Students’ options … • Family Homework Exercise: Communication 4 (Students will need to take home two copies of Communication Worksheet 5 to complete this assignment.) • Fill out Communication Worksheet 5, independently, and turn it in. • Make a poster or collage of the word “No” in as many languages as you can. Or in American Sign Language (i.e., draw or paint the hand sign).
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
Saying “NO” Reference Sheet
Name_____________________________________ It’s not only important to know how to ask for what you want. It’s also important to know how to turn other people down assertively when they ask for something you don’t want to give or offer you something you don’t want to take. Remember Logan (from three lessons ago)? He kept asking girls to be his girlfriend. They didn’t want to. Jessie put him down in front of a bunch of kids — she was aggressive. Sally tricked him and slipped away — that was manipulative. Pam said “yes” even though she didn’t like him -she was being passive and, in the end, it would have hurt him just as much as Jessie and Sally had. Sophea was straight with him. She said “no” without needing to dump on his feelings in the process. Most people in school like Sophea. They trust her not to hurt them, because word got around about what she said to Logan. And they respect her; they know she won’t say “yes” to something she doesn’t believe in or doesn’t want to do. Saying “no” assertively is not terribly hard. But very few people are good at it. The idea is to not give in, and still not lose your friends. There are three steps, and only the middle one is essential. 1. Say something caring. That’s flattering, but… It’s nice of you to offer, but… Thanks for asking, but… I’m glad you trust me to ask, but… I love you, but… 2. Refuse. No. No, sorry. No, thanks. 3. State your decision. I’d rather… I prefer… I’m going to… I’m not going to… Or suggest an alternative Would you like to…? How about…? I like you, but… I care about you, but… I’m sure you have a good reason for asking, but…
The Research paper on Health Care Holistic Medicine Alternative
Alternative Health Care Alternative Alternative Health Care Essay, Research Paper Alternative health care, also known as holistic or homeopathic care, is a myriad of unconventional health care approaches to healing and improving ill health. Dr. Samuel Hahnemann discovered homeopathy in the early 1800? s. He was sick of the art of medicine practiced in his time; he said it was barbaric. He knew ...
No, I’m OK. No, that’s alright.
I don’t believe in… I’ve decided not to… I’ve decided to…
Why not ____ instead?
You don’t have to give a reason for your refusal. If you trust the person not to argue with your decision, it’s OK to state your reason. But you never have to give a reason; it only gives the person something to argue about.
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
Communication Transparency 2:
Saying “NO”
A) Say something caring. B) Refuse. This is the most important step. Make sure you include the word “NO”! C) State your decision or suggest an alternative.
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
The Essay on The Effects Of Alternative Health Care On Scientific Medicine
There has been an explosion of interest and use of alternative medicines and an increase in the numbers and visits to alternative practitioners in Australia (Farnham A, Mcgill C 2003). Complementary and Alternative medicine, also known as Traditional medicine covers a broad range of healing philosophies, approaches and therapies. Many therapies are termed 'holistic', which generally means that the ...
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
1. Your brother asks you for $5 and you don’t want to give it to him. You’re saving it for a concert ticket. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: _____________________________
2. Your friend asks you to spend the night, but you want to stay home. You have to get up early for karate class. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________
_____________________________ ______________________________ _____________________________ ______________________________
Refusal Game Cards
3. Your boyfriend or girlfriend wants you to go camping with his or her family. You wouldn’t feel comfortable doing that. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________
4. Your uncle offers to let you drive his motorcycle by yourself. You’re too young; you know it’s against the law. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________ ______________________________
______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
5. Somebody you’ve just met says, “Why don’t you give me your number? I’ll call you.” You aren’t sure it’s safe. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________
6. Your boyfriend or girlfriend asks to “come over.” Your folks aren’t home and it’s against family rules. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________ ______________________________
______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
Refusal Game Cards
7. Your friend wants to “borrow” your homework. You don’t want to get in trouble for cheating. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
The Research paper on Family system thesis
INTRODUCTION Not all children grow from infancy through their adolescent years without experiencing some bumps along the way. While every child is unique and special, sometimes they encounter emotions, feelings or behavior that cause problems in their lives and the lives of those around them. Parents often worry when their teens have difficulty coping with their things, emotions, get involved with ...
8. Your friend offers to massage your sore feet. They smell and you would feel embarrassed. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
9. Your mother offers to take you out to eat. You’ve already been asked to have dinner at a friend’s house. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________
10. Your friend offers to “lend” you her birth control pills. You know it’s not safe to take someone else’s prescription. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________
______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
Refusal Game Cards
11. A man outside the grocery store says “Hey, I’ll buy you some wine if you let me keep the change.” You don’t drink. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________
12. Your girlfriend or boyfriend asks you to touch in a way you don’t feel good about. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________ ______________________________
______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
13. Your friend offers you some acne medicine. You read the label. It doesn’t contain benzoyl peroxide. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
14. Your friend’s dad invites you for dinner. They’re having liver. You don’t like liver. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
Refusal Game Cards
15. Your friend wants you to take a few dollars off your mother’s dresser to go to the movies. You don’t feel right about it. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________
The Essay on Friend Vs Family Member
Everyone dreams to have a dear companion. Some find the companionship with the family members. Some find it with friends. There are needs and wants that only a family member or a friend could give. For example, you are in need money or other material things, your family will be the first ones to provide it for you. In addition to that , your family is in charge in the preparation of your ...
16. Your friend wants you to ask someone whether they like your friend. You’d feel embarrassed. A basic assertive alternative would be to refuse: ______________________________ ______________________________
______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
1. Or say something caring: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ 2. Refuse: ______________________________ 3. State your decision or suggest an alternative: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
1. Or say something caring: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ 2. Refuse: ______________________________ 3. State your decision or suggest an alternative: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
Advanced Refusal Game Cards
1. Or say something caring: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ 2. Refuse: ______________________________ 3. State your decision or suggest an alternative: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ 1. Or say something caring: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________ 2. Refuse: ______________________________ 3. State your decision or suggest an alternative: ______________________________ ______________________________ ______________________________
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
A Family Homework Exercise:
Communication 4
ALL FAMILY HOMEWORK EXERCISES ARE OPTIONAL.
Read this aloud together:
The Essay on Latinos Here This Is My Home Family School Don
"I do not know how to feel about Latinos here. This [is] my home. I do not feel like I have took it from no one" says Ramerro Hernandez, a twenty-five year old hispanic originally from Mexico. "I think it was harder when I was a kid. No one had it good. I really think [of] this as my home. I am American, just like the whites." Ramerro moved to Texas when he was two or three, he doesn't really ...
Some people think it’s rude to say “no,” especially when the other person is being nice. Unfortunately, they sometimes end up very unhappy or in a lot of trouble. They don’t know that it’s possible to stand up for themselves without standing on somebody else’s toes. They just can’t think of a way to be assertive. Each of you try filling out Communication Worksheet 5 by yourself.
Now:
Discuss your answers. Did you give similar or different advice? Do you like each other’s ideas or do you disagree? Has any of those kinds of things ever happened to you? If so, how did you handle it? NOTE: Turn in a Family Homework Confirmation Slip by _________ if you want credit.
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
Communication Worksheet 5
Name_______________________________ Due date__________________________ Directions: Pretend you are “Dear Abby.” How would you answer the following letters? If you are not sure how to respond, look at the Saying “No” Reference Sheet or ask someone in your family, a counselor, or a clergy person. But answer the letter in your own words. 1. Dear Abby, My boyfriend wants me to take “wood shop” with him. It’s not that I don’t think girls should, I’m just not interested. The problem is, I don’t want to hurt his feelings. What should I do? – Not a carpenter Dear Not a carpenter, ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
2. Dear Abby,
My best friend smokes cigarettes. He can do what he thinks is right, but I don’t think it’s worth it. So far, he hasn’t offered me any, but what should I say if he does? I don’t want to lose a friend. – Gum breath Dear Gum breath, ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ 3. Dear Abby, Yesterday my girlfriend offered to touch me in a way I don’t feel right about. I changed the subject. What do I do if she asks again? I don’t want her to think I’m a baby or anything. – Just not ready
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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Family Life and Sexual Health, Grades 7 and 8, Lesson 19
F.L.A.S.H.
Communication Worksheet 5, continued …
Dear Just not ready, ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ 4. Dear Abby, My boyfriend wants me to sleep with him. I want to be a virgin when I get married, but he might dump me if I say no. What can I say to him? – My own person Dear My own person, ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ 5. Dear Abby, Am I crazy? One of my friends shoplifts. I don’t. Well, this person offered to give me a $100 watch. It must be stolen. I said I’d think about it. What should I do? – Timeless Dear Timeless, ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________
You can turn in this worksheet for credit or use it to do Family Homework Exercise: Communication 4.
Public Health – Seattle & King County ■ Family Planning Program ■ ©1988 ■ Revised 2006 ■ www.kingcounty.gov/health/flash
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