I Feel Fine
Even though man has the right of a free choice, the right to freedom and the right to seek his own happiness, this opportunity can easily be limited. Because, if you are in a relationship, couples as well as friends, and both parties don’t want to go in the same direction, you have to take your partners view into consideration, you have to compromise. However, situations can arise where there can be no compromise, where there are no happy medium. In cases like this you are forced to make an epoch-making decision, which is not to be changed, and which one of the parties may never reconcile with. When such a situation comes up, you will have to make up your mind on how this change is going to affect your relationship to the other part, and whether you are willing to make the sacrifices that it takes to get along. This is exactly the theme Eric Hamilton deals with in his short story from 1997 about a couple going towards a major change in their relationship.
The short story is set at a train station near the Ebro River Spain. The year is not given, but it might be contemporary with the year of publication. A man known as ‘The American’ and a woman called Jig are having a drink while waiting for their train to arrive. At first they are having a blithe, mundane conversation about the landscape, the weather and what to drink, but quickly this dialogue takes an unexpected turn. In the following it becomes clear to the reader that Jig is maybe getting an operation, and that they not entirely agree on whether she should do it, or not. Though it is never made explicit in the text, it is made clear through phrases of dialogue such as “It’s just to let the air in” (p. 2, l. 53) and “But I don’t want anybody but you” (p. 3, l. 111) that Jig is pregnant and that the procedure in question is an abortion. Throughout the discussion the American is trying to convince Jig to undergo the operation by telling her how it is perfectly simple, and how he will stay with her the whole time. Obviously this is affecting her, and because of her great love to the American, and her wish of getting back where they were, she considers going through with it. But she can’t let go of her idea of having the baby, settling down and starting a family.
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The text is written in a vastly stylistic way; because of it being written in a third person narrator, it contains almost no adjectives or other sorts of descriptions expect from a few ones of the landscape, and also none of the characters’ emotions or facial expressions are really mentioned. This leaves the reader with only the dialogue to interpret. This narrative technique reminds me of the technique used by Ernest Hemingway. What is characteristic about his narrative technique is his use of the so-called ‘iceberg technique’, which this whole text is a great example of. It has been named that way because of the way the writer only shows the one-eighth part above water and not the seven eighths below, which means that he is keeping seven eighths of his meaning unwritten, for the reader to decipher from the one eighth that he is writing. As a matter of fact, this is not the only parallel to Ernest Hemingway, but I will cope with that later.
A notable thing about this narrative technique is the amount of symbolism. In this text a lot of symbols are being used to express how each of the main characters’ considerations are connected to the big decision they have to make.
When Jig is looking at the landscape she compares the hills to white elephants:
“’They look like white elephants,’ she said.
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‘I’ve never seen one,’ the man drank his beer.
‘No, you wouldn’t have.’
‘I might have,’ the man said ‘Just because
you say I wouldn’t have doesn’t prove anything.’ ” (p. 1, l. 16-19)
Besides the symbol im a going to mention in a minute, this quote shows a slightly unkind tone in their way of communicating, which asserts oneself throughout the rest of the text.
In the first sentence the white elephant appear for the first time. A white elephant is an idiom for a valuable possession of which its owner cannot dispose and whose cost is out of proportion to its usefulness or worth. In this connection both Jig and the American are intimidated by the thought of having a baby. It is obvious that they both are living an eventful life, and I think the American sees the couple’s unborn child as an approaching obstacle of keep doing that. Contrary to that, I think Jig is still seeing it as a good thing, as a ‘valuable possession’, ore more likely a gift. First of all because of her not wanting the abortion, but second of all because of how she looks at the landscape in different ways. The use of the nature as a symbol of how she feels is here evidently. Walking to the platform and looking to either side Jig discovers the two possible outcomes of the dilemma; on one hand barren and brown dusty plains, on the other side fields of grass, mountains, hills, trees, and a river. The foremost landscape is infertility and lack of beauty and happiness. The other side is the fertility, circle of life, and her unborn child.
Another central symbol in connection to the previous one is the fact that the station is between the two railways, laying on either kind of landscape. These rails represent Jig on one side, and the American on the other. This can be seen as a symbol of how their lives, opinions and expectations of life will always run parallel, but never meet. Therefore, there will never be solution to this problem, if they stay together.
As to the analysis of this text, one must notice that it is of the greatest importance to consider the relationship between the man and the woman. The way I see it they clearly know one another very well, and they obviously have a relationship based on some kind of love. However, I don’t think they are married and I don’t think they are a couple in that sense. I have the idea that Jig is the mistress. Here is the other parallel to Ernest Hemingway. As far as I know, Hemingway himself had several love affairs, so was the text written by him, it would be possible to draw a parallel to the life of himself. If we assume it is right, that they are having an affair, a lot of things fall into place. To begin with it can be an explanation on why the man is only referred to as ‘the American’ whereas the woman is called Jig. By doing this a major contrast is created between the two, and maybe this is to illustrate that they don’t ‘match’.
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It also makes sense why Jig says: “That’s all we do, isn’t it – look at things and try new drinks?” (p. 1, l. 41) I think this is where Jig apprehends that they are never going to have a deep, meaningful relationship, even though she once thought it could work out as she puts it herself; “Everything tastes of liquorice. Especially all the things you’ve waited so long for…” (p. 1, l. 34) Assuming that they are having an affair also explains why the American is so much against having the baby.
As to the development of Jig, it is obvious that a major change takes place in this part of their conversation:
“’We can have everything.’
…
‘No we can’t. It isn’t ours anymore.’
‘It’s ours.’
‘No it isn’t. And once they take it away, you never get it back.’” (p. 2, l. 90-97)
When reconciling herself to the thought that they can never make a decision in which they will both be happy, she realizes that they can never be what she hoped, a family. Therefore, when the American in the end of the story asks her if she is feeling any better, she says that she is fine. She now clearly sees the true problems in their relationship, which is not her, but him, and she is willing to sacrifice all they had, to do fulfill her dreams of starting a family.