English
May 10, 2000
What is Abuse?
Abuse is not just being hit. Abuse is any action that is harmful or controlling and that affects the well being of another person. Many people use the term “Abuse” to signify physical abuse, but there are many more ways of abusing someone than beating them. Physical abuse is the most horrifying and most noticeable of them all, but it is only one of the many types of abuse. Here are some of the names for different categories of abuse: Physical abuse, Sexual abuse, Psychological and Verbal abuse, Forced confinement, abuse towards pets or property, Financial abuse, and Child abuse. The two abuses that I will be focusing on will be physical and mental abuse.
I decided to pick the topic of abuse after viewing the movie The Yellow Wall- paper. After watching the movie and seeing how badly Mary Wollstonecraft was treated, it made me want to know more about abuse on women and what could be done to break the chain of abuse. I believe that no abuse is acceptable and that any man that has ever abused a woman in anyway should face major consequences. That is my main point to this paper, that the laws are not strong enough and that more effort should be done so that no women is ever abused in anyway shape or form again.
To start, I will give some statistics about police and how they handle calls from wives that have been abused. “Police were more likely to respond within five minutes if the offender was a stranger than if an offender was known to the female victim”
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(“Response”1).
Also, it has been recorded that once a women in Boston called in that her husband had beaten her and the policeman’s response was, “Listen, lady, he pays the bills, doesn’t he? What he does inside of his house is his business”(Straus, Gelles, and Steinmetz 301).
With a response like this, why even bother calling the police. That is why we must come together and start over from the inside out. We need to make every one in any position of power know that any abuse on women is wrong. The truth is that, “90% of all family violence defendants are never prosecuted, and one-third of the cases that would be considered felonies if committed by strangers are filed as misdemeanors (a lesser crime)” (“Response”1).
Why is that? Why is it that, “Every 15 seconds a woman in this country is beaten by her current or former husband or intimate partner” (“Statistics”1).
Why is it that, “According to FBI statistics, 30% of female murder victims in 1990 […] were killed by their husbands or boyfriends” (“Women Killed”1).
Also that, “20% of all emergency room visits by women are result of domestic violence and 75% of these women will have additional injuries requiring treatment within the year”(“Statistics”1).
Why can’t we protect women whom are 50 percent of the population. Why is it, “There are 1,500 shelters for women in the United States. There are 3,800 animal shelters” (“Statistics”1).
After reading this information one can easily see that we must start by looking out for our selves, because there is not much help out there. Not to say that women should not try to press charges against there offender but that they should not put their future and lives in the hands of some one else. I hear stories all the time about ex-husbands or old boyfriends whom they have a restraining order against, go right through the restraining
order and put the women into an intensive care unit or kill them. I have even experienced it first hand. A former tenant of mine was shot and killed by her ex-husband after he got out of jail. The court thought that it was not necessary to inform the ex-wife that he was out of jail. He then got a gun, got her new address through the court system, and shot her dead in her car with their two small boys in the back seat. Another women I knew was beaten to death by a sledgehammer, (hit fifteen times in the face) in her own front yard by her former boyfriend. He had gotten out of jail just earlier that week. Her parents are now raising her two sons. Since the law has not truly come to terms with the idea that their laws are not strong enough, what should we do as women to protect ourselves? Here is a list of some warning signs to spot an abuser. Keep in mind they are not all the same and some times it is impossible to tell if the man you are seeing has tendency for abuse.
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· He is extremely jealous.
· Wants to know where you are at all times.
· Gets upset if you spend time with friends or family.
· Holds rigid expectations of male/female or adult/child role.
· He expects you to meet his emotional needs.
· Blames others and you for his problems.
· Threatens you with violence.
(“General Information”1)
There are many more, but these are the most common symptoms. Here is also some more information we know about abusers.
· They try to isolate victims from family and friends.
· They minimize and deny their behaviors.
· They wield power and control over others.
· They blame the victims.
· They distrust others.
· They often have been victims or witnessed abuse.
· They usually have low self-esteem.
· They are not in touch with their own feelings.
(“General Information”1)
Overall, I find it very disappointing that even in todays society we still have to put up with such barbaric situations.
As for the history of abuse it was not until, “twenty years ago, the first battered women’s shelter in the United States, Women’s Advocates, was opened in St. Paul, Minnesota” (“General Facts”1).
I believe that if it were not for these women’s shelters, the statistics I have written about would be even greater or not even looked into. These women’s shelters provided a tremendous amount of financial and emotional support. Most of the women there have been exposed to domestic violence, and understand what the women that come there are going through. They know what to do and know the laws inside out. I would recommend going to your closest women’s shelter over the police and fighting your legal battles with their help. The people there know which policemen to talk to as well as right judges. They are able to wake up a judge in the middle of the night to order a temporary restraining order until a better court date can be made.
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Overall, I think that it is sad that any woman should go through any abuse. I believe that men are still abusing women because we as a nation have failed the women population. We are just now making stronger laws but are still not enforcing them as well as we should. Not to say that we are not progressing, but rather that we are not moving fast enough. Why is it that men still believe that “A man’s home is his castle”(Straus, Gelles, and Steinmetz 303), and that what goes on inside the house is no one else business not even the police. Until we start enforcing the laws that are already in existence and protecting the women better, nothing is going to change. Men need to be more afraid that if they abuse a woman they will be held up to severe consequences. That is what I believe is the main reason men still hit women because they believe that they can get away with it. Until they believe otherwise, the abuse will go on. So for right now, we as women need to look out for each other. I believe that if we all do our share then how could anyone not take us seriously. We as women need to come together as a nation not to go after men, but the ones who pretend to be men. A true man never harms a woman. We need to make laws that will scare anyone from doing harm to anyone because there is no reason for abuse.
Bibliography
Works Cited
1. Family Violence-Breaking the Chain. Films for the Humanities and Science
A-244, FFH4499.
2. http://www.cybergrrl.com/views/dv//stat/statgen.html.
3. http://www.violetnet.org/info/genj-4.htm
4. Straus, Murray A. , Gelles, Richard, and Steinmetz, Suzanne. Behind Closed Doors. Doubleday and Company, 1980.
5. Maha, Personsl Interview. 27
The Essay on The Police Exception And The Domestic Abuse Law
The Police Exception and the Domestic Abuse Law Beating a spouse is wrong. Fighting is wrong. Domestic Abuse is wrong. Thesis a very simple concept and lawmakers, police officers, and citizens of our country for years have been in majority with these concepts. One of the punishments our government has come up with for convicted domestic abusers is revoking the privilege to carry weapons in public. ...
April 2000
6. Lamanna, Mary Ann, and Riedmann, Agnes. Marriages and Families. New York:
Eve Howard Publisher, 1999
