Alcoholism Alcoholism is not a disease that effects just the drinker. In time alcoholism will literally tear apart a family. At first communications in a family will be disrupted, then hatred will develop toward the abuser (s), and sure to follow is the physical abuse. In today’s society children suffer a great deal of emotional, psychological, and physical pain due to parental abuse of alcohol. When alcohol is abused in a family, all members are effected, especially the children. Children are the ones that are left with severe emotional scars when it comes down to having a alcoholic parent.
Fortunately, my parents don’t drink and have never touched or experimented with alcohol during their life. However, my uncle has abused alcohol as far back as I can remember. I can recall times when my little cousin was a young girl growing up and was constantly exposed to my uncle’s terrible drinking habits. He would keep on drinking hard liquor until he was beyond drunk. As he would sit at the table eating his dinner and drinking his whiskey, he would start arguing over nothing with my aunt. My little cousin would watch them lash out at each other until her older brother would dash out his bedroom to stop the meaningless arguing.
The older my little cousin got, the more frequent and common the arguing became. It came to the point when my cousin had trouble studying because the fighting had upset her, causing her to loose her concentration. Therefore, her grades at school slowly began to drop. Being raised by alcoholic parents commonly leads to child neglect. Since my cousin was raised by an alcoholic parent, she was exposed to a childhood of neglect.
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Not only was she neglected as a child, but it unfortunately continued throughout her teenage years. Because her father was caught up in drinking all the time, he did not spend time or pay much attention to her. Alcohol to my uncle was normally his number one priority. He would rather sit and drink his whiskey than give his daughter the attention that she longed for. She would have to wait until he was in a good mood or sober, which was not very often, to try to have any sort of conversation with him. His idea of communication was being drunk and yelling at my cousin.
Unfortunately, she was only neglected by her father, but it so happened that her mother rarely had time for her either. Since the majority of my uncle’s free time was taken up by drinking, my aunt with more responsibilities and chores, which limited her time for my cousin as well. In other words, She feels her father’s alcoholism caused her mother to be a workaholic, leaving her without the attention she needed as she was growing up. As a result of the neglect, she chose other avenues for attention.
She would always get in trouble with her teachers and found the principal’s office a familiar place. She found out by being a rebellious and destructive student she would receive the proper attention she needed, the attention that he did not receive from her parents. I remember one time when I was in the fifth grade, my cousin got in a fight with a fellow classmate. Our teacher had her suspended for three days from school.
The fight was over one of those #2 pencils. Our classmate walked up to our table and took her pencil without her permission, so she confronted him and asked for it back. When he refused and told her to shut up, she punched him in the face as hard as she could, knocking him to the floor. While he was falling, the pencil was still in his hand, and it caused him to be severely injured with a stab would. Due to the incident our teacher scheduled an appointment with her parents.
The teacher informed her parents that she was a trouble maker and should be suspended. Also, she said, the principal of the school would not tolerate this type of behavior and recommended her to be enrolled in a metal institute. Anther avenue she sought for attention was by getting involved with sone trouble makers from her neighborhood. When she was around her friends, she was not ignored or disregarded, as she was with her parents. When she was in the eighth grade, her friends would break into neighborhood cars and steal whatever they could get on their hands on. Also, they would shoplift from stores on an everyday basis.
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Sometimes they would even go out and break house windows, car windows, and scratch up cars with their switch blades just for fun. On occasion the police would have to bring her home after one of many altercations with the police department. Her parents would not be happy and would disapprove of her actions, but that did not stop her from doing whatever she wanted. In actuality, it seemed to her as if the only times her parents noticed her or tool time out for her was when she was in trouble, so that encouraged her to continue her destructive behavior.
One time we both got arrested for one felony charge of burglary, conspiracy, and possession of stolen property. We were only sixteen and we cut class in the morning to go break into a house. We broke in though the back window, and we stole a VCR, some jewelry, and some cash. Then we proceeded to the car and began to stash the stolen loot into the truck of her car when a curious neighbor ran out of her house of her house with a phone in her hand. She called the police and informed them of the burglary she just witnessed. After we fled the scene, three police called pulled us over.
They drew out their guns and tod us to take the keys out of the ignition and throw them out into the street. Then the police officers searched the vehicle, found the stolen goods, and read us our Miranda rights. As a result, I was sentenced to 3 months in juvenile hall and she received 2 years probation. Personally, I feel that if she had received proper attention at home, peer pressure could have been avoided. But since her friends gave the sense of belonging that she did not receive at home, she was vulnerable and continued her behavior even if it got her in trouble with the law. My uncle’s alcohol problem not only affected my cousin mentally but also physically.
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Her father did not physically abuse her as a child. However, when she grew older, her would get in fights with her all the time. Her father did not really argue or fight with her or anyone else until he had some liquor in his system, so she knew if he had been drinking to stay away from him. But sometimes she would be in the wrong place at the wrong time and all hell would break loose. It’s like the liquor brought the demon out in her dad. The fights would usually start over some stupid argument with her mom, her brother, or her.
The dinner table was a danger zone because that it where my uncle would be drinking. She would be eating her dinner or studying when her father would complain about something, and as she would try to get her two words in, the scuffle would start. She would throw books or dinner off the table in a rage, and he would start cursing and throwing whatever he could get in his hands on. While they would continue throwing and breaking things, my father would charge at her to either try to slap her, to shove her, or just to grab her. But my cousin would get away from him because she was much bigger and faster that he was. Out of her anger she would break things and punch holes in the walls.
Then she would run out of the house in a fury. Over the years from fighting with her dad, she has gotten numerous scars on her hands. Alcoholism in a family affects every single member in a negative manner. Today my cousin lives with me and my family because there came a time when her father tried to kill her when he was drunk. And now after many hard years my cousin is learning how to stand on her own two feet. She goes to college and has a part time job.
I just wish she had the same opportunities I had when I growing up. Even when I did get into trouble with her over the past years I still had my parents support and they helped me in each and every way. When alcohol is abused in a family, all members are effected, especially the children.
