All men are dogs! No ifs, buts, or maybes about it. Whenever encountered with their species, I expected not a hi or hello, but rather a roof – roof, bow – wow. It wasn’t a so-called hang-up I had the facts to prove it. All I have to do is cross the path of one of these animals, their tongues would be hanging out of their mouths and they would be on full alert ready to pounce.
A few commented that I had been “burned” in one too many relationships. They were right. Although, I thought, I should not have to feel pain, especially at the mercy of another individual. I have had a cesarean section, glass stuck in my foot two broken fingers and a bad hairdo – on prom night. Yet, I assure you that all these experiences put together were incomparable to the pain of a broken heart When we allow ourselves to love and be love, walls previously built up around our hearts, like Fort Knox, come tumbling down leaving ourselves vulnerable to pain and suffering. Then, to have things you honestly believed could only last forever…
all come to and end like a death sentence. I have been through all this and more. I’ve been tempted to be vicious enough to gouge his eyes out with my finger nails, conniving enough to slash his tires and pour sugar in his gasoline tank, and even hurt enough to take something that could never be replaced – my own life. When I discovered my boyfriend had been cheating on me while I was three months pregnant, the worst advice I received was, “be strong, and don’t cry over him, he did not deserve you.” I felt shamed for having an emotional response such as jealousy and anger, so my tendency was to block these emotions from conscious awareness.
The Research paper on Phantom Limb Pain
... to the brain to represent the type of pain triggered. These pain pathways are described as a sequence including ... nociceptive and non nociceptive. Nociceptive includes somatic and visceral pain whereas non nociceptive refers to neuropathic and sympathetic. ... duration of therapeutic effect, and overall effectiveness at reducing pain. Central stimulation techniques generally have a positive influence ...
Anger when wedded with hurt and shame, can develop into bitterness. That is exactly what happened to me. I began to live life just as the ‘pathological should’: I should never feel hurt; I should always feel happy and serene; I should know, understand and foresee everything; I should never feel certain emotions such as jealousy, hurt or anger. I became my own worst critic. I told myself I would never trust another man, neither would I allow one to get close to my heart ever again. Besides, who would ever want to go out with me? Eventually he would find out that I am not pretty, slender or good enough.
I stopped setting goals, even small ones, because I assumed I would never achieve them. I also stopped making plans because they were bound to fail. It took a lot of sleepless nights and endless soul searching to finally realize that emotions themselves are neither good nor bad. The problem lies within the thoughts that produce emotions and behaviors resulting in emotions. How could I continue giving away my freedom to choose and giving someone control of my emotions? One of my greatest challenges in life has been to identify my emotions and channel them into positive behaviors. I also had to understand, that since emotions are interconnected, denying painful emotions also necessitates burying pleasant ones.
I began to celebrate my accomplishments, attending college and learning new and valuable skills, like different writing techniques. The best part is, that when I mess up I can laugh (sincerely) at myself. I even began to notice a guy from my church is kind-of-cute… so I gave him my number. Even if we turn out to be just friends that is ok. I have learned two valuable lessons…
1) the truth about myself and 2) ALL MEN ARE CATS (hey… at least I like cats).
