Scene 1: Romeo has just been dumped my Rosaline.
Enter Romeo and Benvolio.
Romeo: What am I supposed to do? How was I supposed to see that coming! I want to be a nun, she says! CuzCuz, life is oh so cruel without women.
Benvolio: Hey, it ok. There are plenty of fish in the sea! Tell you what. The Capulets are having a party. Let go get you drunk. Strike up pipers!
Drums on the desk.
Romeo: Wait a sec, aren’t we gonna get the shit beaten out of us? Didn’t you catch the Capulet-Montague hatred thing in the first few scenes?
Benvolio: Nah, ˜dun worry about. These tacky masks should keep us undercover.
Pulls out tacky masks from second marking period or something¦
Romeo: Sweet.
They exit.
Scene 2: At the Capulet party.
Enter Romeo, Juliet, Tybalt, and Benvolio.
Romeo skulking at the bar with remiss.
Benvolio (apparently very drunk): Hey, wouldjah check the jugs on that one!
Romeo (dazed): wuh?
Romeo looks across the room to see the most beautiful woman EVER.
Spontaneously, Romeo Jumps to his feet and briskly walks to Juliet.
Romeo: Do you have a Bandaid? I scraped myself falling for you. Are you an alien? Cuz you are outta this world! Do you know karate, because your body is kickin!
Juliet blushes.
Large strong man butts in front of Romeo.
Tybalt: Hey small fry. I’ve been watchin you, and you look like trouble.
Romeo: Uh¦..
The Essay on "Romeo And Juliet": Capulet And Montagule
Honor is a type of love for oneself. However, sometimes love can kill and inflict hatred for others. When one values their honor too highly it may lead to disasters and tragedies. In the play “Romeo and Juliet” the conflicts between the house of Montagues and the house of Capulets is so intense that even the slightest quarrel between the opposing family members can turn into an all out ...
Tybalt: SON! Are you looking for trouble!!!?!?
Romeo: Muh¦dumm¦uh¦.
Tybalt: Watchadoin wit mah woman!!?
Enter Old Capulet.
Old Capulet: What is the meaning of this fracas! Tybalt! Behave yourself!
Tybalt: But this dood messin wit mah woman!
Old Capulet: But that isn™t your woman¦that Paris woman¦go have a drink alright? I™ll have none of your drama king shenanigans here! To a still shaking Romeo. Please try to enjoy the rest of the party, sir.
Old Capulet and Tybalt exit.
Juliet: Hey, handsome. Wanna make out?
Romeo: Are you legal?
Juliet: I™m fourteen and ripe for picking.
Romeo: SCORE!!! I shall stop thy mouth!
Enter Benedick.
Benedick: Hey! That my line!
Romeo: Shut up, you.
Benedick exits.
Too many minutes later¦
Romeo: Hey, I lost my number, can I have yours?
Juliet: Sure thing. Call me!
They exit.
Scene 3: In Juliet backyard.
Enter R&J
Romeo: But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
Juliet: Hey, handsome.
Romeo: It is the east, and Juliet is the sun!
Juliet: Whoa, hold up. How™d you jump the electric fence?
Romeo: With love wings I perched those walls.
Juliet: And Daddy German Sheppard?
Romeo: With love anesthetic needles! Nothing can stop true love!
Nurse: Juliet! Hoot! Hoot! Juliet!
Juliet: I come, nurse! To Romeo. What the heck are you doing in my yard!?? I told you to call! Enter Lady Capulet. Hide!!
Lady Capulet: Who was that boy just now?
Juliet: uh¦nobody¦
Lady Capulet: Juliet, honey, are you in love with that boy?????
Juliet: What? What boy?
Lady Capulet: Have some of these. They™re called gay deceivers!!!
Juliet: Ew! MOM!!!! Leave me alone, gosh.
Enter Amanda.
Amanda: Hey, that my line!
Lady Capulet: Shut up, you.
Amanda exits.
Lady Capulet: Well, I just wanted to tell you that your father and I are going out tomorrow, for the whole day. Just behave yourself.
Juliet: OK!!!!!!Go away now!!
Lady Capulet exits.
Romeo: Well, waddya know, looks like you™re free tomorrow. Wanna go on a honeymoon?
Juliet: Sure, whatever.
They exit.
Scene 4: Friar Lawrence weds Romeo and Juliet the next day.
The Term Paper on Romeo and Juliet and Capulet
... reality of Romeo's banishment. After Romeo exits, Juliet begins to cry and her mother, Lady Capulet mistakes Juliet's sorrow to be caused by the death of Tybalt and ... tells her that she plans to have Romeo poisoned. Then Lady Capulet tells Juliet ...
Enter R&J, Benvolio, Tybalt.
Tybalt slays Benvolio.
Romeo: OMG!! Benvolio! What the heck was that for???
Tybalt: That was the drunky walkin up on my woman!
Romeo: Yeah, but that was my homie!
Tybalt: You looking for trouble smaw fry?
Romeo: Yeah! Bring it!
Romeo slays Tybalt¦big whoop¦
Juliet faints.
Romeo: OMG!! Juliet is dead! I can™t live without Juliet, so I might as well die too!
Romeo commits suicide.
Romeo: OW!!! Ow¦..ow¦
Juliet wakes up.
Juliet: Whoa, funky hangover¦
Friar Lawrence: Yeah, uh, I sort of spiked your drink on the honeymoon¦
Juliet: OMG!!! Everyone is dead! This doesn’t make any sense! Thank goodness we didn’t have to write an essay about this scene, because I would’ve failed miserably! I™ll make the story have a sad ending by dying with my lover!
Come happy dagger, let us join fair Romeo!
Juliet commits suicide.
Friar Lawrence: And so, Romeo and Juliet died in the name of love. How cliche
Fin
