9. FEATURES OF A PAKISTANI WEEDING
OUTLINE
(i) Marriage in Pakistan is a legal union between a man and a woman.
(ii) An engagement is a formal ceremony held before the marriage.
(iii) Mehndi, the Henna ceremony, or the Rasm-e-henna ceremony, typically takes place one or two days prior to the main wedding day.
(iv) Baraat is the procession of the family, relatives, and friends of the groom and they accompany the groom to the bride’s home or marriage hall for the official wedding ceremony.
(v) Walima is the final day of the wedding. This is traditionally organised by the groom and his family.
ESSAY
Marriage in Pakistan is a legal union between a man and a woman. Culturally, it is not only a link between the husband and wife, but also an alliance between their respective families. Because about 97% of Pakistan’s population is Muslim, the Islamic law is usually observed. Arranged marriages have been an integral part of Pakistani society for years and are still prevalent. Marriages are often arranged within the family or within the same community or ethnicity. The wedding customs and celebrations differ significantly depending on the geographical location as well as the families involved. However, a typical Pakistani wedding has at least three main customs involving the Henna ceremony (Rasm-e-Henna), the vows or the Nikah, which is a part of the actual wedding or Shaadi ceremony, and a subsequent Walima offered by the groom’s family.
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A proposal party goes to the bride’s house, where the groom’s parents and family elders formally ask the bride’s parents for her hand in marriage. When the wedding proposal is accepted, a day is usually fixed for the engagement ceremony. Engagement is usually a small ceremony that takes place in the presence of a few close members of would-be bride’s and groom’s families. Rings and other items of jewellery among affluent families are exchanged between the would-be bride and groom. Traditionally, the bride and the groom were not seated together, and the rings are placed on the bride’s finger by the groom’s mother or sister, and vice versa. In recent years, however, segregated functions have become a rarity and rings are usually exchanged between the couple. Prayer and blessings for the couple are then recited, and the wedding date is decided.
Traditionally, many days or even weeks before the actual wedding day, women gather in the house of the bride at night to sing and dance while accompanied by percussion instruments. This is called the Dholki or Dholak celebration. Today, this ceremony has also been reduced to a single night of singing and is often combined with Mehndi or Henna ceremony. Mehndi, the Henna ceremony, or the Rasm-e-henna ceremony, typically takes place one or two days prior to the main wedding day. The event is traditionally held separately for the bride and the groom. The henna is symbolically placed on the couple’s hands. The groom’s friends and family bring along sweets and henna for the bride, and the bride’s family does the same for the groom. In the bride’s ceremony, the groom normally does not participate, and similarly on the groom’s event, the bride stays at home. Female guests are sometimes offered mehndi at the host’s discretion.
Traditionally, since there were separate functions for both the bride and the groom, the groom’s function was called ‘Tael’ (oil) where female guests put some oil into the groom’s hair. With the ceremony now held simultaneously for both the groom and the bride, the use of the term ‘tael’ has diminished greatly. In some cases, the entire ceremony is instead referred to as “Tael Mehndi” ceremony.
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After the Tael Mehndi, the main wedding ceremony takes place. A procession of the family, relatives, and friends of the groom called Barat go to the bride’s home or marriage hall for the official wedding ceremony. The groom makes his way to the bride’s home or the marriage hall on a richly decked horse or car and the “baraat” follows in different vehicles. Usually a band playing wedding songs also accompanies them. The bride’s family with flower garlands and rose petals, thrown upon the procession by the bride’s sisters, cousins and friends, gives the groom a warm welcome. If the couple are Muslim, a Nikah is performed.
After the Nikah, a dinner is served which consists of several dishes with meat featuring heavily in the meal. Finally, the Rukhsati takes place, when the groom and his family leave together with the bride.
Walima is the final day of the wedding held by the couple as they host their first dinner as husband and wife. This is traditionally organised by the groom and/or his family thus, without his parents, this ritual normally cannot be performed. Therefore, to make Walima valid, the parents’ blessing and presence is the most important factor. The groom’s family, specifically his parents, invite all of the bride’s family and their guests to their home for a feast. More commonly nowadays, this is held in a marriage hall or hotel instead. The Walima is typically the most festive event of the wedding ceremony and intends to publicize the marriage. The bride wears a heavily decorated dress with gold jewellery provided by the groom’s family.
The groom normally opts for a formal Western suit or tuxedo. It is at this ceremony that they are formally and publicly show cased as a married couple. After the Walima ceremony, the married couple usually go to honeymoon.