This paper is going to show two of the various theories of being an only child. These theories come from a famous psychologist known as Burr hus Frederic Skinner and a psychology major at Northwestern University known as Alissa D. Eischens. But first it will mention the stereotypes given to the “only child” from an outsider’s point of view, then two cases that describe different childhood experiences that they had as an “only child” and how they dealt with it. Then it will go on and discuss a few statistics.
The only child is automatically judged by people. We assume that their selfish, anxious, not fun to be associated with, difficult when it comes to making their way in a world that doesn’t centrally evolve around them. When an outsider is asked to describe the characteristics of an only child they will most likely respond with they are “spoiled brats.” They get all of the attention they want from their parents because there aren’t any brothers or sisters to compete with. However, only children seem to have a better self-esteem and are higher achievers. Not to mention their personalities vary greatly. Not having siblings around telling them what’s right or wrong to do by their standards allow the child to think on their own, without help from anyone other than their parents.
(Sifford, pg 13) Here’s a case of one adult that remembers sharply about growing up as an only child. This person blames a lot of their issues on being an only child. The lack of peer interaction, and the great amounts of adult contact created a proneness to loneliness, selfishness, pride, and the need of belonging and approval. They never had to share and everything that their parent owned was also considered hers. She didn’t have to learn to share until a much older age than most kids with siblings. She never had to experience a brother or sister borrowing or simply taking items and losing, breaking, or simply not returning to them to her.
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... a right world in life. Mervyn Morris explores the child and parents relationship by using second person narration and language techniques such ... cannot always be the answer. In conclusion, Mervyn Morris explores child and parents relationship using second person narration and imagery. The poem ...
The thing she remembers most about being a child was her loneliness. One specific case was when she over-heard her parents arguing one night when they thought she was asleep. The word divorce was briefly mentioned and she didn’t have anyone there to cry with or talk to. Occasionally her cousins would spend the night, but she never confided in them and waited until they left to show her real emotions. In another case this child absolutely adored the fact that he didn’t have any siblings to fight with. The attention from both parents was greatly appreciated and he turned out very successful.
When there were hard times in his family, he confided in an aunt, uncle, or cousin. Anything that he needed, his parents supplied him with. He was taught great morals and values and learned sharing and other social interactions through cousins and the neighborhood children. He did state that yes some people judged him automatically as being spoiled and self-centered, but he gave those people an opportunity to meet the real him and realize how down to earth he really is. As he got older he said that he thought he was pretty popular, evolved in sports and all of the extracurricular activities.
He knows that he had an advantage to join those because he had two devoted parents that directed their time to him. Other children had to compromise with the brothers or sisters schedules, not just theirs. (Dr. Nina Asher. Only Child Enterprises) In most cases the only child is often male and not female. This first statistic is not based on an actual count, but taken from numerous therapists and psychiatrists that have talked to hundreds and thousands of couples.
Both the mother and the father strive for a son who will carry out the family name. If the first child that is born is a girl, they will try again. But if the first child is a boy, they ” ll most likely stop there. One psychiatrist stated that in her whole lifetime, she has never had a patient that was a woman and an only child. (Sifford, pg 14) The number of single child households is growing for a few different reasons. Mainly because of the economy.
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"Latchkey Kid" is a term that came into existence during World War II. It was used to describe the large number of youth who were left without direct adult supervision. During this period of time, most Americans were involved in the war effort. Many fathers were in military service and many mothers went to work outside of the home to support their families and help our country win the war. As a ...
Now-a-days, it is really expensive to have a child, even to adopt can cost up to twenty-five thousand dollars. Sending a child to school and then to college and cost up to the high thousands as well. Parents that make a minimal income may stop after the first child considering the fact that they only have an average or even below-average income. Another factor is that each year we have noticed the divorce rates going up, especially with couples that have only been married at one or two years at the most. The wife would get pregnant within those two years and then after the divorce they will raise the child on their own as a single parent.
Being a single parent is a tough thing to do as the mom or father in some cases will hold a full time job. After the mother and father get divorced, the lives revolve around their kid and doing the right things for them. So in most cases mothers stop after the first child. (Sifford, pg 14-16) A common theory of being an only child according to Skinner includes the behaviorist theory of operant conditioning. This deals with how the child deals with social interaction. An invert child may be concerned with the internal world of their thoughts and feelings.
An out vert child however tends to be interested in the external world of things and people (Weiten, pg 483. ) Because of the fact that only children’s personalities vary, the invert and out vert qualities are equal traits in only children. Therefore the concepts of introversion and extroversion must be looked over again in order to apply them back to the only children. In being an only child cases, a naturally born introverted child must show extroverted qualities if they wish to develop friends. A naturally born extroverted child must learn to show introverted qualities by being content to focus on their own thoughts when their friends aren’t around to occupy them and keep them company. The term ambivert is used to describe the children with both characteristics.
Even this term did not describe the only child as accurately as Skinner had wished. To call an only child introverted, extroverted or ambivert would mean that the child developed their personality with little influence from their environment. Environmental influence is not a sole influence but does play a major role in certain unusual environmental situations. (Weiten, pg 485) As Eischens points out that the only child is indeed a “unique breed,” I believe she is correct. The child acts as the first and last born child in the family, and takes on many roles and responsibilities unlike those of any other sibling. The introvert characteristic starts to come out more because of the lack of family bonds.
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Negative Effects of Divorce on Children Divorce has a strong negative effect on children. The children are brought into the family and then ripped out of what they know is right or of their norms. James M. Henslin defines the family as being two or more people who consider themselves related by blood, marriage, or adoption (445). When married you are instantaneously put into a family. When two ...
The child has to learn to depend on their self for thoughts and entertain themselves more. In these situations you will notice that being an only child, that child is more likely to play with toys that are made for the opposite sex. A little boy may play with dolls and not think anything of it. Oppose to if the boy had an older sister or an older brother to tell the child that playing with dolls was “girly.” The child may never pick up the doll again. The extrovert characteristic will appear in a more social setting. The child is more desperate for the for the friendships children of their age, than with siblings of all different ages.
(Eischens, The Dilemma of the Only Child. 3/05) I grew up with an older brother and at times of course I wished that I was the only child, but as we grew older, we have both learned to almost depend on each other under different circumstances. We look out for each other in the long run and were there for each other during hard times. Our parents went through a divorce when we were both much younger and we had each other.
We both have a couple friends that are the only child and they do fit both of the theories mentioned by Skinner and Eischens. I have taken into consideration that these theories do not apply to every child that is an only child, just a majority. Children react different to different situations, regardless if they have a brother or sister their or not.
