Alcoholism
Growing up in a household with an alcoholic parent results in one of the most strenuous relationships that a child can face. Not only do the children have to deal with their own problems as they grow up, they feel the added responsibility of helping their parents function on a daily basis. There are steps that children can take to help their parents achieve sobriety while learning about alcoholism themselves. First and foremost is helping parents face the fact that they do have a problem. Secondly, children can encourage their parents to consider Alcoholics Anonymous, and finally help keep them focused on the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Unfortunately alcoholics say over and over that they can control their drinking. They say they only drink because they are under pressure, they had a rough day at work, they are going through a rough relationship, or one of a million other excuses. In reality, none of these excuses are true; they drink because they cannot face their problems without the alcohol. “A frequent component of the disease is the alcoholic’s belief that drinking is necessary to cope with life. In an alcoholic’s confused mind, the need to drink may literally seem like a matter of life or death”(www.alcoholics-anonymous.com).
The child in a relationship with an alcoholic parent must realize that alcoholism is a disease, and not a question of willpower. This realization not only helps the alcoholic parent, but the child as well because the child realizes that the parent is not drinking to hurt them, but because they just cannot control themselves.
The Term Paper on Cultural Differences in Parent-Child Communication
Today’s children face more diversity than their parents were when they were at the same age. The cultural differences in how the parents deal and communicate with their children around the world are a great challenge. Parent’s involvement in their children’s literacy and communication either in school, home or community will be effective through communication strategies and awareness about ...
Another pivotal point in the relationship between the child and alcoholic parent is getting the parent to attend AA Meetings. The parent may have tried many, many times to control their drinking on their own without success. This often leads them to frustration which they see as another excuse to drink. The child may at times find it difficult to admit that their parent is an alcoholic and go along with their excuses to drink. This only makes the child an “enabler” which means they enable them by believing their excuses. After a child sees so many binges, so many broken promises, so many lost jobs, relationships and so much instability, they realize they must get the parent to see that they need help. They need the structure that AA Meetings can provide. Where other people with the same problem can help them.
While it a is a must that a child of an alcoholic parent gets their parent into AA meetings, they must also help them throughout the complete process of becoming sober. The heart of the AA program is made up of twelve steps, that if is followed is a giant step towards sobriety. Alcoholism can never be completely cured, but these twelve steps are designed to help control the life crippling disease .
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
The Essay on My Understanding of Parents-Children Relationship
During the past twenty years of my life, I was always regarding my parents as extraordinary and authoritative models of my life. I adored them so much as if everything they had done was not only right but also great. As for my parents, they paid much attention to setting a good example for me since I was a little girl. The situation lasts and I have never thought of any possible changes in the ...
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs (alcoholics-anonymous.com).
It will not always be easy for the child to remind their parent of these steps, but in the end it will make both of their lives easier if these twelve steps are followed.
In closing, being raised by an alcoholic is one of the toughest relationships that a child could be faced with, that is why they must step up to the plate and help their parent with their problem. While the child is helping their parent they will also go through a learning process themselves. The child needs to sit down with their parent and make them realize that they do have a problem. They need to talk to their parent about getting professional help, because alcoholics need structured programs to help them become sober. The child also needs to encourage their parent to follow the 12 steps provided be the Alcoholics Anonymous program. The road to sobriety is definitely not an easy process, so the child of an alcoholic parent must try to stay positive in the face of adversity.
www.alcoholics-anonymous.org, The Twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Pg.1-2.
