Are you tired of the bar scene? Do you not have time to go out to meet people? “You ” ve got mail.” This is what you want to hear if you ” re per suing the singles scene through the internet. Unconventional; maybe. Convenient; definitely. Meeting someone through the internet can be an exciting adventure, but takes a lot of time and patience if done correctly.
This process has three steps that need careful thought before you even place your ad, which I will guide you through. An obvious point to make is that you need a computer with internet access. First, you ” ll need a screen name. Second, write a personal ad. Third, choose the singles sites to advertise on and register. Now you ” re ready to place your ad.
Next you will weed through responses, exchange emails, talk on the phone, verify information, confide in 1 to 2 trustworthy people about what you ” re doing, and finally, meet in person. Here are some helpful tips for each step. Screen name: Even if you already have one, I suggest a separate one for this sole purpose. It needs to be catchy, but gives a little insight about you.
I used “Spicy 34 F”, and no guys, this is not my bra size. Spicy described me in a personal way and was eye catching. I felt it also important to state age and gender right up front. Writing your personal ad: You will need a title that will entice someone to read further. You will see that many of the titles are boring and typical such as “SWF seeking long term relationship” or “Are you the one.” This was tough for me because I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship or a casual one-night stand. I needed a title to fit my desire.
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I came up with ” unique friendship .” This described what I was seeking better than anything else and still left room for mystery. The ad itself should not be too lengthy, or the reader will get bored and go to the next. Be somewhat specific about yourself and what you ” re looking for; while at the same time keep the readers curiosity at its peak by being creative in how you say it. Here are a couple of examples of my ad to give you some ideas. Looking for an exceptional male who desires a unique friendship for fun, frolic and fantasy. Are you – not looking for a serious relationship, not wanting to deal with hassles of courting and making impressions, need a little added spice to your life? Who said you can’t have your cake and eat it too! AndI’m a DWF in mid 30’s.
I enjoy movies, comedy, dancing, dining out, traveling, and spicy evenings for two! I’m a very confident independent person. If you aren’t intimidated by someone who knows what she wants and usually gets her way, then email me. (I won’t bite).
Now decide if you want to include a photo of yourself with your ad.
There are definite pros and cons to this, so give it careful thought. I chose not to include my picture. I consider myself very average and people tend to form their first impression from a photo, if available. I wanted the first impression to be an incredible curiosity as to who I was based on what my ad read. Choosing your singles site (s): If you do a search of singles sites it will bring up more than you can imagine. I did some investigating of about a dozen before I decided which one (s) to use.
Some require extensive information during the registration process and some were hard to get around in and browse the ads. I ended up choosing three of the better known sites by internet users such as, matchmaker. com, and. com. Take the time to browse some of the sites, see what is required to register, and read some of the ads.
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Then make your choice and register. Now you can place your ad and start your adventure. Now you get to weed through your responses, and men, I’m sorry to tell you that women get about 50 to your 1. My recommendation is to delete the replies that don’t interest you immediately or your mailbox will be overloaded. I was shocked and amazed through this process as I ended up with over 300 responses.
It was very easy for me to weed out because of the way I wrote my ad. For some, it may be harder to decide who to delete. You may want to keep the uncertain replies and read them again later. Reply to the responses that you find interesting. After a second response from the same person you can decide if it’s worth per suing any further.
If not, at least be polite and send an email saying “Thank you for your response, but I don’t think we ” re compatible. Good luck with your search.” If you do want to learn more about someone, it’s time to exchange several in depth emails. I joked with all my exchanges that I was going to interrogate them in order to get to know them. I found that about 95% of them tolerated it with great sense of humor. It was a speedier, to the point method without all the beating around the bush. What I mean by this is, I asked blunt, direct questions.
The other 5% disappeared, obviously they had something to hide. Are you still interested in this mystery person? If so, time for the telephone call. Don’t be nervous, this is suppose to be fun. Women don’t give him your number. You call him and use the prefix to block his caller ID. Let’s be smart and safe about this.
Now’s the time to see if your phone conversation matches all your email exchanges, just to make sure both sides are being honest. Quiz him / her on information that has been shared to make sure. Find out place of employment and ask if you can call to chat sometime. This is another safety measure. Are you ready to meet in person? If so, pick a public place. I recommend you meet just for coffee or a drink.
This way you ” re not stuck over dinner or whatever, in case you realize right away there is no chemistry or interest. Trust me, this will be the case more than you will care to admit. I found it very interesting what I met in person versus email and phone. People’s perception of themselves in every way (not just appearance) is not very accurate. I walked away many times just shaking my head in disbelief. Next, confide in one or two people the five w’s (who, what, when, where, and why).
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By now you should be pretty confident this person is not an ax murderer, but smart and safe is admirable. After you ” ve met, agree to go home and email each other honestly what you each thought. If there’s no attraction, then say so. Honesty is sometimes hard, but you ” ll be respected in the end. Don’t feel bad, go on to the next meeting. Remember this is an adventure.
I sent a thanks, but no thanks fourteen times. Two of them ended up as friendships (not unique friendships) that I still have today. We had no chemistry, but they respected my honesty, and wished to develop a friendship. If there is an attraction, by all means go for it. After all, this is the reason for placing the ad in the first place.
Number fifteen must have been my number. We met for coffee and it ended up being an eight-hour date. We established the “Unique Friendship” I was looking for. It’s been three years now and we are engaged to be married.
It was a memorable adventure to say the least and it can be for you too.
