The grandmother, in Mary Flannery O’Connor’s “A good man Is Hard To Find” was controlling and manipulative she considered herself a sophisticated lady, prim and proper. She is taught a lesson in humility but learns it way too late. “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less” (Lewis, C.S. 2013).
Bailey knows his mother’s tricks to manipulate him to do what she wants so he purposely ignores her ramping and raving about not wanting to go to Florida. She makes one more appeal to Bailey by trying to make him feel like a bad father if he takes them to Florida where a criminal has escaped and has headed there. “I wouldn’t take my children in any direction with a criminal like that aloose in it. I could’t answer to my conscience” (O’Connor, M. 1955, p.258).
However, her appeal is not sincere she has an alternative motive to manipulate Bailey into taking the family to Tennessee. Finally when her appeal to Bailey does not work she uses the children to convince the mother to change Bailey’s mind; stating the children needed to go someplace where they could be “broad” (O’Connor, M. 1955, p. 258), expand their knowledge to experience, see and explore another state. The grandmother becomes very dramatic with her actions, with the hopes the mother heard her conversation with Bailey and would react insisting he listen to his mother and change their plans accordingly. After all a mother who loves her children would not put them consciously in harm’s way. The grandmother’s motive is self centered with no regards to the feelings of others. Clearly the Grandmother had no respect for her son or his wife and she with her proud and pompous attitude looked down on the children for being disrespectful.
The Essay on Child Mother Interactions Left Alone
Child- Mother Interactions The time is 2: 00 p. m. The baby and the mom are sitting down on the bed, while the mom is feeding the baby a piece of a banana. The baby begins to play with the banana, instead of eating it. The mom then starts to sing with him, and he kind of sings along in his own way, she sits down, and he does too. This shows how he follows what she does. When she sings and claps ...
The children perhaps saw through her craftiness and spoke to her with the reality of knowing she was a hypocrite. “She wouldn’t stay at home to be queen for a day” (O’Connor, M. (1955), p.258).
June Star made the comment knowing the grandmother took pride in being in control if she stayed at home by herself she would have no one to control. After all she was in control or so she thought. The grandmother is arrogant and manipulative, the children are disrespectful, Bailey and the mother are passive this lead to a dysfunctional family setting. “Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul which this virtue does not exist; there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance” ( Augustine, S. 2013).
The grandmother is the first one in the car. She clutches her big suitcase with Pitty Sing the cat hidden inside, takes pride that she can be sneaky and dishonest. She knew Bailey would disapprove of her bringing the cat.
For the long car ride, the mother and the children dressed comfortable, the grandmother wears her dress, hat and white gloves stating with pride “In case of an accident anyone seeing her dead on the highway would know at once that she was a lady” (O’Connor, M. 1955 p. 258).
The grandmother’s idea of a lady is twisted. She believes the outward appearance denotes her status in contrast her callous heart is wrapped in her own pride and arrogance. The grandmother continues her dishonesty when she lies to the children about the house on the plantation telling them it has “secret panel” (O’ Connor, M. 1955 p. 258), when she realizes the house is Tennessee not Georgia she does not correct her mistake. If she would have been honest, they could have avoided the detour which would have avoided the accident and they would have avoided their untimely death. The grandmother scared the cat, who jumped out of the suitcase onto Bailey’s neck and caused him to have the accident. Not once did the grandmother admit it was her fault. Instead she complained she was hurt.
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June Star announces with disappointment “But nobody’s killed” (O Connor, M. (1955), p. 258).
Yet the grandmother sits with pride that she again has succeeded to manipulate and have her way. She caused the accident but would not take responsibility for her error. The encounter with The Misfit will keep the grandmother trying to figure out how she can control and manipulate the situation. When she tells The Misfit she knows who he is this puts the family in danger. Again her pride steps in she thinks she can use good words to save her life “you shouldn’t call yourself The Misfit because I know you’re a good man at heart” (O’Connor, M. 1955, p.258).
Thinking of herself she is convinced her proper dress and tone of voice denotes she is a lady. She does not think about her children and grandchildren, pride is a dangerous spirit. It caused the grandmother to think of self-preservation. Bailey understood the severity of their situation however, his mother yet wrapped up in herself stood with a boastful attitude.
The Misfit entertains the grandmother with conversation about his life and seeks to make sense of it. He is torn between good and evil although he had good parents he is not good thus making him an outcast. He uses the name The Misfit. Pride and arrogance covers the grandmother’s eyes. She cannot see that in much way’s she is like The Misfit. The Misfit can see through her hypocrisy. The grandmother in reality has no respect for him the fact is he is good only if he will spare her life. “There is no respect for others without humility in one’s self” ( Amiel, F. 2013).
the grandmother presents herself loyal and royal it is not until she faces doom that she seeks peace, love, humility and unity. The Misfit makes a powerful statement that takes the scales of pride off the grandmother’s eyes and for the first time, she is able to take an introspective look at her thoughts and actions.
“Does it seem right to you, lady that one is punished a heap and another ain’t punished at all?” (O’Connor, M. 1955, p.258).
The grandmother saw her sins of pride. She punished her children and grandchildren by manipulating and controlling them to have her way. She showed no compassion for others, her life was all about her wants. She lived a life of lies and dishonesty and her sins went unpunished until she met The Misfit. When the grandmother looks into the eyes of The Misfit she saw herself as a misfit. She was dirty and cruel inwardly and dressed like a lady outwardly. She had to admit she was no different than the man who openly admitted his faults.
The Essay on Grandmother Misfit Lady Family
ENG 102 Ms. Campbell A Lady in Disguise In Flannery O'Connor's short story, "A Good Man Is Hard to Find," the character of the Grandmother is a woman who believes she is a lady of high values and morals. O'Connor depicts the grandmother as a selfish and deceptive hypocrite, who stops at nothing to get her way. The Grandmother demonstrates numerous acts of deception, which shows she has no ...
The grandmother must now face who she really is and what she has become. God has a way of bringing hidden things to the light. Although the grandmother tries to reason with The Misfit and prays for her life to be spared she has not ask forgiveness for her sins. If she had done so she could have saved herself and her family’s demise. Because of the grandmother’s selfish acts of pride, manipulation and control the entire family suffered the consequences. “Because in the school the spirit man learns wisdom through humility, knowledge by forgetting, how to speak by silence, how to live by dying” ( Tauler, J. 2013).
The grandmother found pride to be the death of her. It is unfortunate she discovered this truth to late to save herself and her family. Life has a way of humbling by choice or by force.
References
O’Connor, M. (2011) A good man is hard to find. In D.L. and A.M. Acosta
(Eds.) Literatture: A world of writing stories, poems, and essays [VitalSource Digital Version] (p. 258).
Boston, MA: Pearson Learning Solutions. Lewis, C.S. (n.d.).
BrainyQuote.com Retrieved January 19, 2013, from BrainyQuote.com Web Site: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/c/c/_s_lewis_3.html Assisi, F. (n.d.).
BrainyQuote.com Retrieved January 19, 2013, from BrainyQuote.com Web Site: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/f/francis_of_assisi.html Augustine, S. (n.d.).
BrainyQuote.com Retrieved January 19, 2013, from BrainyQuote.com Web Site: www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/s/s/saint_augustine_3.html Tauler, J. (n.d.).
BrainyQuote.com Retrieved January 19, 2013, from BrainyQuote.com Web Site: www.brainquote.com/quotes/authors/j/johannes_tauler.html
