“I love Yous Are for white People” ” I love Yous Are for White People” is a memoir about Lac’s journey and his family immigrated to America from Vietnam, after the Vietnam’s War. Lac’s family had to deal with cultural shock, language barrier, and difficulty finding jobs. As a Vietnamese immigration myself, I feel like Lac’s experiences live through me because there were a lot of similarities in his memoir compared to my past experiences with my parents.
Lac’s family and many immigrations families had the same circumstances, that had a hard time adapting to a new cultural, and establish a new life in America. As the result, this environment played a significant role on family conflict, and add to the authoritarian parenting method. This was impacted greatly on Lac’s childhood life as he mentioned throughout his memoir. I believe the author’s main message to the reader is that immigrant parents do their best to parent their children the best they can as they transition into a new culture and life in the United States.
But the parenting’s method sometimes will lead to unhealthy relationship between parents and children. This main message is revealed through many scenes of brutal discipline, emotional reactions, and verbal abuse. Unlike the Western’s culture, Vietnamese immigrant parents use the authoritarian parent method to discipline children and often time it’s leading to family conflict that can have a mental impact on children.
The Term Paper on Single parent families 3
Paraphrase: Normally the nuclear family is the ideal family in American society, which consists of a husband, wife, and their children whom they had together. In today’s society there have been some radical changes in the country’s family structures. Most families now are single-parent families. Summary: Over the past couple decades; the choosing of being a single-parent family has become more ...
According to “Perception of Vietnamese Father’s Acculturation Levels, Parenting Styles, and Mental Health Outcomes in Vietnamese American Adolescent Immigrants” by Nguyen, Peter V, under “VIETNAMESE ADOLESCENTS AND THEIR PARENTS” section, it states that “Once landed in the United States, these parents must quickly adapt to the new and foreign economic system and immediately attempt to find jobs so they may rebuild their lives and provide for the family. Vocationally, most Vietnamese parents experience a drop in status by accepting mediocre jobs with low wages and begin working in fields that are unfamiliar to them (Zhou Bankston, 1998).
This can be a humiliating experience for many parents, which is worsened by their lack of knowledge about the English language. Along the process, most Vietnamese parents must deal with the unfamiliarity of U. S. culture, values, and rules in the working environment and the potential for discrimination. “. This section of the article is discussing how Vietnamese immigration parents can be overly stress , and add to the authoritarian parenting method. This kind of behavior from parents can have a negative affecting on children.
In fact, it only discourage children from striving for success knowing that there will be no rewards but only criticism. This is reflected Lac’s experiences throughout his memoir. Lac’s journey began when his family settled on Western Avenue in Hollywood, California. Pa has high expectations on Lac because Pa has a hard time adapting to a new culture, and difficulty finding jobs. So Pa wants Lac to mature beyond his age, and become independent. But the only way Pa knows to help Lac achieves that goal is based on his past experiences through brutal discipline and tough love.
During one of the their usual tutoring sessions, Lac experiences extreme physical and emotional abuse from Pa. Pa abuses Lac emotionally with his words, and physically with the bamboo stick because Lac is not performing up to Pa’s standards. La describes his father’s temper as ” a firecracker with a testy fuse”(62).
The Essay on The Influences Parents Have On Thier Children
Throughout our lives we're influenced and taught by many. It can have an effect on the way we view problems and events within public boundaries. One of the most important and most effective influences children have in their lives occurs from their parents. The parents of a child can have both a positive and a negative influence on their lives. In this novel there are two very good examples of how ...
Lac list and endless list of weapons choices that his father uses to beat him. These weapons include plastic rod from mini blind, spatula, rice bowl, a radio antenna, and a wooden yardstick.
Despite Pa’s efforts, Lac feels like it didn’t help him become any smarter from the beating. He feels like Pa wants him to become a man even though he haven’t finish the third grade yet. He realizes his relationship with his dad as” The small doses of nurturing that I’ve learned to wait for and cherish are no more. Like sandy cliffs along the seashore, they’ve eroded away with time”. At this age, Lac needs nurture from his father just like any other children waiting for their parents to nurture them.
And when their parents are not fulfill their children’s emotional needs, then children will give up. That is the sign of emotional abuse that Lac had encountered in such at a young age. One evening, during dinner time, Lac once again experience physical abuse from his dad. Pa beaten and threaten to kill Lac because he refuses to feed the dog. As Lac re-lived through that intense moment feeling confuse and hopeless, ” I run the evening’s events through my head over and over again, trying to figure out what the hell just happened to me.
With no reasonable explanation to be found(161).
Like a “quicksand”(162), Lac feels like he would never lived up to Pa’s expectations because of harsh criticism from Pa, even though he has tried his best to impress and striving to meet Pa’s expectations, yet that still is not enough to satisfy Pa. Lac recalls ” The harder I try to get to the top, the more I’m sucked back down by his unrelenting criticism”(162).
This behavior is more common among Vietnamese parents, but not so much in Western’s societies.
According to “Perception of Vietnamese Father’s Acculturation Levels, Parenting Styles, and Mental Health Outcomes in Vietnamese American Adolescent Immigrants” by Nguyen, Peter V, under “PARENTING TYPOLOGY” section. In general, the authoritative parenting method of parenting has higher levels of self-esteem, well-developed sense of self, and independent and confident qualities. However, the author discovered that this type of parenting may have more negative effect on the Vietnamese children because of the culture clash that they face every day.
The Essay on Running Head Suffrage Of Children Without Fathers
Running Head: Suffrage of Children without Fathers Suffrage of Children without Fathers (Authors Name) (Institution Name) Suffrage of Children without Fathers We shall begin this essay with the shocking fact that nearly 50 percent of American children may in our present times be going to sleep every evening without saying good night to their fathers. The declining factor of fatherhood is amongst ...
Vietnamese American children living in a heterogeneous U. S society are exposed to the Western style life outside of their homes and must abide by the traditional Eastern culture at home. In Lac’s case, this parenting typology shows that it’s only hurt Vietnamese adolescent more than helping them to achieve independent and confident qualities. I think Vietnamese parenting method can be excessive for their adolescents. It is more harmful for their children development then helping them, and could impact on the outcomes of their decisions making in life.
For example, like the “Rats” gang in Lac’s memoir, these individuals also dealing with harsh criticism and brutal discipline just like Lac . One of the gang member said “That’s why we thugs. Nobody wants us… and we want nobody. We rats… dirty, hungry, and looking for something crazy to get into. (161)” This rebellion’s behavior causes by their parents’ authoritarian method. That make them feel unwanted and abandoned because of the way that their parents is treating them.
But I believe this can be improved through levels of education, two-ways communications, and counseling. After all, Lac has survived through his painful childhood life and became a successful man as Pa has envisioned, when they moved to United States. Work sited list: Perceptions of Vietnamese Fathers’ Acculturation Levels, Parenting Styles, and Mental Health Outcomes in Vietnamese American Adolescent Immigrants Author: Nguyen, Peter V Publication info: Social Work 53. 4 (Oct 2008): 337-46. “I Love Yous Are For White People” Author: Lac Su Chapter 4. p62 Chapter 10. p161-162
