I have often wondered what life would have been like over here, had I been of another race?
A subjective question and an insult to some. I am who I am. However, I do still wonder.
For those who say, get over it, be proud of who you are and if you try hard enough, there are opportunities. Yes, I am proud and there results in thinking positive and taking positive action, but to what extent and in what percentage of cases is this applicable?
It is tough everywhere for us, but in addition is the problem with remaining yourself when one is confronted with the �bombardment� of the differences in another culture.
Whether we accept it or not. Each one of us has our �stereotypes� about different people entrenched in our minds. In my opinion, much more than we care to admit.
So, What are the typical stereotypes about the African woman over here? They include:
� We are spoilt; we want everything done for us.
� At the same time, strong, we can stand a lot.
� Materialistic, We would do anything for money and material goods.
� Cheap, can be �caught� easily.
� Poor, most of us here live below the average standards.
� Illiterate: Some think we cannot write our names.
� Stupid to an extent, we cannot be very intelligent.
� Uncultured: We never really know how to behave.
� Unstable, some think we cannot maintain lasting relationships.
� High-strung. We are worked up too easily.
� Not trustworthy.
� Good in bed.
� Low-class, we do the dirty jobs.
� Not to be respected, we do not �deserve� be treated well.
Before anyone jumps up and attempts to crucify me, please remember that these are stereotypes, meaning that like all other stereotypes they are GENERALISATIONS.
There is no specific group of people who to the last MAN behave exactly alike, therefore stereotypes can never be accurate about everyone.
I would also like to state that I am not accusing every member of the community we live in of having these stereotypes. Some do, others do not.
When you as an African woman in Diaspora, tries to find a job, rent a home, buy a home, start a business, start a relationship e.t.c. the walls of these generalisations are first erected in your path and it is up to us to break them down and move on with our lives.
This is why I wonder what it would be like to walk into an office or a building corporation and be met with the complete acceptance of who I am without bias.
It is because of the problems of these stereotypes that lots of us become disenchanted and choose different paths to follow. The paths we choose and my names for them are listed below:
THE CONFORMISTS: In the sense that they give up their true identity and fall into the trap of adopting the identity created here for them which is that they are cheap, untrustworthy e.t.c.
THE DEFEATED: These, after facing a barrage of obstacles, with their spirits crushed, withdraw into themselves, get depressed, and let their talents whither.
THE WARRIORS: These, rebel, get embittered and do battle with the system and anyone else who crosses their path.
THE PEACEMAKERS: Others chose the peaceful path, and attempt to explain to the �stereotyper� that we are not all the same.
THE DIS-ASSOCIATED: Another group chose �dis-association�. They �attempt� to separate themselves from their people, so that they will not be identified with the negative values.
THE NAME-CALLERS: These, say things like �those people� meaning their people are all �terrible� and I am different.
THE OVER-COMERS: These, excel so much in their fields, make so much noise, have fought and won so many battles that they can no longer be ignored or �stereotyped�.
At one time or the other we have belonged or do still belong to one (or more) of these categories.
The important thing is not to be defeated and no matter what to still try to stand up straight and live your life. Our identity lies in who we are and our life experiences and not in the labels, that others try to impose on us.
The world would be perfect if we could all be treated alike. Unfortunately, the human race is not so far evolved and until we are, Chin up.
