Is There Any Solace For The Lonely? Our culture is too civilized to allow the physical torture of criminals. Therefore, solitary confinement is used as an alternative punishment for prisoners serving time. Solitary confinement seems like a joke, being alone in an enclosed room with no human contact for a few weeks. Yet, being alienated and lonely are very effective methods of psychological torture. In fact, the sense of loneliness is so overwhelming, it tends to drive criminals mad. The problem with loneliness is that it does not just affect prisoners in solitary, it can overwhelm anyone at anytime.
What was once an emotional state of being that only afflicted the elderly, is now commonplace for the youth of tomorrow. Many are looking for deeper insight about the causes of loneliness in adolescents, which is defined as a ‘sense of absence or loss even in the midst of a crowd’ (Jain 1).
The best source for a greater understanding about loneliness is poet, Brian Brennan. His poem ‘Under Solace Tree’ reveals how social gauntlets and adolescent alienation are the primary causes of loneliness. Social gauntlets are the primary differentiation between adult and teenage loneliness. Adults are not as likely to undertake social ‘tests’ to try and fit in.
Older individuals usually have discovered who they are and accept it. The problem with youngsters is that they are still looking for acceptance and a sense of belonging. As a result, the ‘in-crowd’ develops unspoken tests and tribulations for newcomers who wish to join. Such trials could be as discreet as being a good athlete, in order to be accepted into the ‘jock’ crowd. On the other hand, ‘burn-outs’ would not trust you, or even remotely invite you into their ‘club’ if you refused to smoke marijuana with them. Social gauntlets are used to weed out those that are deemed ‘not worthy’ to join, from those that are.
The Term Paper on Agree or Disagree? Your Job Has More Effect on Your Happiness Than Your Social Life Does.
Nowadays, people live in a busier world stuffed with endless routines from the work than that in the past. Besides the decent job that one might have, enjoying the wonderful and trustful social life are something worth pursuing as well. However, it seems that everyone in the workplace just wants to get his/her jobs done, and it is apparently that one always shares less interaction with people than ...
When a new member is accepted, it acts like an ego boost for that individual, thereby increasing their self-esteem. Although, the self-image boost lasts only as long as the group, leaving the youth worse off than before when it disperses, because now they have sacrificed their independence for acceptance. On the other hand, failing to pass social gauntlets will have detrimental effects on the flunky. It will cause loneliness, the feeling of an ache more painful than any physical wound (Jain 2).
Even worse than the lonesomeness, is the feeling of rejection, which will eventually lead to alienation. Just as the narrator in ‘Under Solace Tree’ has been so extremely alienated, virtually to the point where he is no longer a person, but merely an unnoticed tree in the background.
Alienation is the separation and purposeful exclusion of someone else. Mainly, the feeling of being a horrible person. Like the Solace Tree, they view their anguish as punishment for ‘a past life that’s sinned’ (Brennan ln. 18) – something beyond their control, but entirely their fault: such as their creed. The exclusion alienated kids undergo, brings about lonely and deluded emotions that torture their self-image. Such a horrid state of mind is a direct result of multiple rejections from social groups.
Other than failing to pass social gauntlets, people are alienated due to anything from racial prejudice and xenophobia, to the teenage fear of what is different. Youngsters who are alienated will build a wall around themselves because they feel it is better to push away than to be rejected (Gross field 3).
Walls are by no means good, they protect from painful experiences while simultaneously blocking out any feelings of hope, happiness, or love. At such a price, protection from rejection will lead to condemning the child to a lonely future.
The Essay on Individual autonomy and social structure
In “Individual Autonomy and Social Structure”, Dorothy Lee discusses how in today’s society, it is “difficult to implement human dignity in the everyday details of living.” (pg.5, Lee) However, Lee discusses how by analysing different cultures and how they deal with similar situations, it is possible to come up with a solution for this society. The key social problem Lee addresses is the conflict ...
It is extremely difficult for therapists to break through the walls alienated individuals create. Oftentimes, the block against emotion is irreversible leaving the youth a virtual vegetable (or tree), or a miserable hermit. A hermit indeed, who like the Tree, is alone and never confides in anyone, cursed to eternal silence. In either case, death would be more humane than to damn the alienated individual to hopeless isolation for the rest of their life. Individuality and creativity are lost to the horrors social conformity brings. The more teenagers separate and segregate, the more teens conform to avoid being alienated, and thus avoid loneliness.
If juveniles never express their own personality and propensity, what will the future hold in store for us? Without individuals’ natural inclination for uniqueness, we will cease to evolve as a people. Without new ideas and goals to give us direction, society will come to a crashing halt. Today is an age of followers, all whom are generally lacking the courage to face the loneliness alienation brings. More and more musicians are remaking old songs because they lack the courage to try something new. Once an extraordinary, yet original movie establishes itself, a genre of copycat movies always follow. Such as the natural disaster movie series including Volcano, Twister, and Dante’s Peak.
Conformity has had its roots in civilization since the very beginning. Many martyrs in history have undergone ‘tests’ that separate them from ordinary people. Yet, the hardest test any martyr has ever had to undergo is the test of loneliness and alienation. Like Peter the apostle who lacked the courage to admit he was different, he was a disciple, he was a devote follower of someone with original ideas and ideals.
Three times he feared to stand against alienation, but the question is, how many times has the cock crowed for you? Lonely people are the rubble d remains of sequestered individuals. Innocent individuals having been condemned to isolated anguish, merely so the inquisitor could elevate his own ego. The pretty girl always rejects the little pudgy boy, to show everyone she is ‘too good’ for him. The dexter with glasses is always picked last in gym class, so the captain has a basis by which to compare his own athletic greatness.
The Essay on Sense Of Alienation Time Bear Prufrock
In the time period from 1915-1945, America was undergoing dramatic changes. These changes were noticeable in everything from the economy to they way authors were writing. Many of the authors in this time period turned to humor and most stories held a sense of alienation. T. S Eliot, as well as other poets and authors expressed this form in different ways. T. S. Eliot expressed the form of ...
Such events are always occurring, with no discern able beginning or end. What can be done to end the cycle of social acceptance and conformists in a world full of fear and hatred? Unfortunately, nothing short of a divine miracle could extinguish all the intolerance and ignorance plaguing the world today. With no hope for an end to alienation or loneliness, the only option left is to cope with whatever curve-balls life brings. Rejection brings about a low-self esteem, which oftentimes triggers loneliness. ‘A lonely person being somebody who is essentially unhappy with their own company’ (Jain 3).
Therefore, one must be happy and satisfied with who they are in order to counteract the loneliness rejection brings.
Even better, find real friends, who accept you for who you are. Although, conformity can always mask loneliness, it will only escalate a bad self- image. Lastly, parents need to spend more quality time with their children, in order to teach them to love and accept themselves and never to judge others (Jain).
Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone was accepted everywhere and youngsters had the courage to be themselves without worries of social rejection? Until that day, poems like ‘Under Solace Tree’ will always be there to comfort the lonesome.
