Men and Women, Perspectives on Communication Throughout time it has been documented that men and women see things in the world from different perspectives. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants but a woman will pay $1 for a $2 item she doesn’t want. Men and women’s minds are truly wired up differently, and I’m not just talking about sex. Making love, for most women is the greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
To most men, you can call it whatever you want just as long as they end up in bed. (Actually, I hope that is my last sexual reference. ) A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears, and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. These are just a few crude stereotypical examples of how men and women see the world differently.
Heartfelt, meaningful and truthful communication or the lack there of, is a primary culprit in accentuating the differences between men and women. Women long desperately for it and men don’t know how to or are unwilling to provide it. These differences, although sometimes very subtle, are also apparent in many of today’s literary classics. In the short story by John Steinbeck, “The Chrysanthemums”, the husband and wife do not communicate effectively and both see their particular status in life differently. Stanley Kauffmann’s “The More the Merrier” is a funny look at four people’s perspective on what marriage would mean for them and how the secrets they kept will come ’round to bite them. But, perhaps, not all men and women are as ineffectual at communicating as those I have highlighted in the first two examples.
... are women treated differently—is not that women are treated differently, but women are a new foreign concept to men in business. Women ... important to first observe why women might be treated differently than men. II. Women are treated differently in the work place. ... important to observe the negative aspects of seeing women treated differently than men. Throughout this study, a constant observation ...
Judith Viorst’s “True Love” is an expression of how she knows what she shares with her husband is true love. Most men would probably agree with her. There is obviously great two way communication in her relationship with her husband. Heartfelt, meaningful and truthful communication or the lack thereof, plays a large part in John Steinbeck’s “The Chrysanthemums” and Judith Viorst’s “True Love” and to a smaller extent in Stanley Kauffmann’s “The More the Merrier.” The stereotypical model tells us that the man is usually the one that can not or will not communicate. In chrysanthemums, there is a bit of a twist, Elisa is the one that has a hard time communicating with Henry, her husband. If you did not know that they were husband and wife, based on her responses to his dialogue, you would think that she was talking to a neighbor that she wasn’t all to interested in talking to.
Henry states, “”Why, sure, that’s what I came to tell you. They… got nearly my own price, too.”Good” she said. “Good for you.”And I thought,” he continued, “I thought how it’s Saturday afternoon… to celebrate, you see.”Good” she repeated.
“Oh, yes. That will be good.” (361) Throughout the story, Elisa is unable to communicate with Henry to tell him how she really feels and Henry is either not perceptive enough or doesn’t want to figure out what is really troubling Elisa. When the Fix-it man arrives, there is a distinctive shift in her personality. She is chatty, witty and wanton to converse with someone other than her husband. I think this shows how Elisa sees her life on the Allen farm. She is not happy, she can’t communicate with her husband and she longs for a child of her own to keep her company.
She uses the chrysanthemums as a surrogate for a number of things, a relationship with her husband, a child, other friends and family. Henry is oblivious to this, he is happy doing what men do, provide the staples for living for his family. They have a couple of near misses at genuine communication, first when Henry comes down after dressing for dinner he commends Elisa on her beauty, “Why-why, Elisa. You look so nice!” (365) Henry is truly attentive to Elisa and she does not know how to react.
... direct link between Emily and the author, not the narrator, but the author, William Faulkner. Some indications of this relationship can be ... because they thought the other man would make a better husband. In Emilys case her father turned away many young suiters ... element of time and history to tell the story of Emily Grierson. Emily attempts to resist the progression of time and modernization ...
Elisa stiffens and instead of taking the compliment, she drills him for definitions of “nice” and “strong.” After this, Henry falls back into his role as provider and goes to start the car. A second near miss occurs in the car on the way to dinner. Elisa suggests that they have wine with dinner, undoubtedly a signal to Henry that he may be in for more than the usual when they return home. (Sorry, another sexual reference) Elisa asks about the fights and is asked by Henry if she would like to go.
Elisa could have forever changed their relationship for the better if she had accepted and shown interest in something Henry liked. Elisa answered no. She knew she had lost a chance to change things and quietly weeps. In Stanley Kauffmann’s “The More the Merrier” it is the unspoken word that has everyone all tied up in each other. Less than completely honest communication, otherwise known as secrets, can doom a relationship before it ever gets started. This story makes fun of what we all bring to a relationship, baggage.
You can not just close the door and walk away from your past, you have to deal with it and be truthful. Secrets have a way of coming out at the most inappropriate times. As when Simon visited Emily and Raphael and Raphael learned that Emily had been engaged to Simon before him. Now Simon wants to take Emily away from Raphael. Simon thinks money can buy them happiness and seclusion, a fresh start.
But that is impossible, Emily has it right with her analogy; Emily: Yes, and I encouraged him in it because it makes him happy to think about it; but I don’t believe it. Our lives are too closely caught up with other people and other things ever to extract them completely. When I was a child, someone put chewing gum in my hair. Have you ever tried to take chewing gum out of your hair? Simon: No! Emily: Well, it can’t be done. You have to cut off the hair.
... in your own family. True friends can forgive, just like Joe forgave Simon. Simon felt responsible for Joe's ... death of his beloved mother, to forgive Simon even though Simon thought that it was God's will. ... did not share the same relationship with them.Simon and Joe understood each other, and they were ... importance of friendship and peer relationships like this: Simon and Joe, each in their own way, are ...
(186-191) You can’t just walk away from other relationships, they follow you. Some people liken this to six degrees of separation, in this play it is more like one degree of separation. All four main characters have secrets that they have kept from one another. This makes for a good bit of confusion.
In the end open communication between the respective couples enables them to close the door on their past and head for new beginnings. Maybe some men and women do see something’s in a similar light. In “True Love”, Judith Viorst expresses the situations that define her perception of true love in her marriage. There is obviously great two way communication between Judith and her husband.
Men, being creatures of action, feel the only way to express love is through their actions. “It is true love because… If his mother was drowning and I was drowning and he had to choose one of us to save, He says he’d save me.” (10, 17-18) Sometimes it is inaction that delivers the unspoken message. “It is true love because… When I said that playing the stock market was juvenile and irresponsible and then when the stock I wouldn’t let him buy went up twenty-six points, I understood why he hated me.” (19, 23-24) Strangely, I think that most men would agree with Ms.
Viorst’s expression of their true love. Genuine, heartfelt, meaningful and truthful communication between men and women is the key that can solve any problem. Men may be from Mars and women from Venus, but every once in a while, a couple to manage to split the difference and meet her on earth. Work CitedPoemViorst, Judith. “True Love.” Literature, An Introduction to Reading and Writing. 2 nd Compact ed.
Eds. Edgar Roberts and Henry Jacobs. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2003. 471.
Short Story John Steinbeck, “The Chrysanthemums.” Literature, An Introduction to Reading and Writing. 2 nd Compact ed. Eds. Edgar Roberts and Henry Jacobs. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2003.
359-66. PlayKauffmann, Stanley, “The More the Merrier.” Literature, An Introduction to Reading and Writing. 2 nd Compact ed. Eds. Edgar Roberts and Henry Jacobs. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2003.
... result. Truman is composed of the words "true man." He is a true man who will mature into adulthood and have a ... genuine relationship with a woman. He is a true man in the sense that he is brave. And he ... is the true man in the sense that he is the archetypal man for our age, who stands ... see the camouflaged image of the mind of a man lost in a false personality of false happiness. His ...