It was just the other day that I observed a mother having difficulty with her child, a five-year old boy who was in the midst of a temper tantrum in the supermarket. The mother stood there, frustrated by the child who was lying on the floor kicking and thrashing about as he screamed for some prized goodie. Not wanting to add embarrassment to her situation, I proceeded down the aisle. But as I walked, I questioned the outcome of the situation.
If the mother denied the boy the treat, he would become twice as upset. For the moment it would seem like a mistake, but in the long run it would teach him that obnoxious displays are not the way to get what you want. If the mother happened to give in to his action to quickly calm him, he would learn that this is the way to get what one wants. Either outcome relies heavily on the mother’s action. This situation strikes a similarity to one found in the short story by Henry James. In James’s tory, Daisy Miller: a Study, Daisy’s behavior and ignorance to societal rules are a result of ineffective parenting.
A mother has the ability to influence and guide her child’s behavior, whatever the circumstances may be. However, in Daisy Miller, Mrs. Miller has no influence over her children. James introduces this idea first through Daisy’s nine-year-old brother, Randolph. He, like Daisy, has the freedom to ‘go round’ by himself and enter conversations with strangers. In talking about candy and his teeth with Winterbourne, who was at that point a stranger, he claims, “I have only got seven teeth.
The Term Paper on Single Mother Care Children Child Mothers
Comparing its structure and function as it was in 1960 with what it had become in 1990 can highlight the dramatic changes in the American family. Until 1960 most Americans shared a common set of beliefs about family life; family should consist of a husband and wife living together with their children. The father should be the head of the family, earn the family's income, and give his name to his ...
Mother counted them last night and one came out right after. She said she’d slap me if anymore came out.” (p 271).
From this scene, the absence of motherly discipline becomes apparent. Randolph indulges in his own pleasure by excessively eating candy, which causes his teeth to rot and fall out. His mother, who has neglected to give him proper guidance in dental hygiene, believes slapping him will suffice as punishment. But as Randolph explains that “She’s got to give me some candy, then,” (p 271), it is obvious her punishment will serve no purpose in teaching him anything at all.
Not only has she no control over his eating habits, she has no say in his schooling. “Randolph said he didn’t want a teacher traveling round with us.” explains Daisy. “He said he wouldn’t have lessons when he was in the cars. And we are in the cars about half the time.” (p 275).
It is ironic that Daisy lightheartedly speaks of her brother’s insubordinate behavior, because it indicates her own beliefs and behavior.
Like Randolph, Daisy is able to determine what she does for herself. She chooses to arrive late to Mrs. Walker’s party, although she puts her mother in an uncomfortable, shameful position. “You see I’ve come all alone,” said poor Mrs. Miller.
“I’m so frightened: I don’t know what to do; it’s the first time I’ve ever been to a party alone. I wanted to bring Randolph or Eugenio, or someone, but Daisy just pushed me off by myself.” (p 307).
This situation verifies Mrs. Miller’s nonexistent power. Even though she desperately wants someone to accompany her to the party, she is unable to persuade anyone. Another upsetting feature about Mrs.
Miller’s parenting is her incapacity to understand Daisy’s need for attention. Because Mrs. Miller gives Daisy insufficient attention, Daisy is forced to find it in other ways, primarily through men. James illustrates this during the first conversation between Daisy and Winterbourne about the Chateau de Chillon. Daisy ‘dreadfully’ wishes to see the castle, however, her mother’s ’bouts of illness’ prevent them from going. At that point Winterbourne offers to make arrangements.
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There is an absolute theme of integration in 'Everything That Rises Must Converge'; by Flannery O' Connor. Through the experience of reading this short story, we can depict the characters' past experiences. There are two incompatible personalities in the passage, Mrs. Chestney, the mother, which represents the transition from the old South, and Julian, the son, who represents the transition of the ...
Daisy, with no knowledge that this may be against European etiquette, finds this activity a wonderful opportunity to fill her need for attention. Henry James also uses a more absolute example of Daisy’s wish for attention when she interrupts the conversation between Winterbourne and her mother. “Don’t you want to take me out in a boat? You haven’t spoken to me for half an hour.” (p 288).
Winterbourne hesitantly agrees to her request, due to the fact that her mother and Eugenio disapprove. Daisy then changes her mind.
“Oh, I hoped you would make a fuss! I don’t care to go now.” (p 289).
She exhibits the traits of a child in the midst of a temper tantrum. James unmistakably criticizes her manners and patience, as well as her ridiculous cry for attention. Mrs. Miller has not given Daisy proper guidance to listen to and respect authority.
She is even a negative influence on Daisy’s regard to customs. This is seen when she poorly argues against Mrs. Walker’s claim that it is unsafe to walk alone with a beautiful Italian. At least “he speaks English.” said Mrs. Miller. (p 298).
This negative encouragement appears when Mrs. Walker confronts Daisy about her poor conduct in society. “Walking with Giovane lli may be enchanting, dear child, but it is not the custom here.” (p 303).
Daisy’s reply is that she has “never heard of anything so stiff! If this is improper, Mrs.
Walker, then I am all improper, and you must give me up.” (p 304).
Her refusal to listen to Mrs. Walker is inherently rooted by the fact that her mother’s style of parenting has never required Daisy to listen to advice. Many times Winterbourne assumes the role Mrs. Miller does not and tries to explain how Daisy’s actions are viewed as inappropriate.
Unwilling to listen to anyone, she insolently retorts by saying she ‘prefers weak tea over advice.’ (p 310).
It is clear that Mrs. Miller is the epitome of abdicated parental power. Her futile parenting is the undeniable source of her children’s inappropriate and maladaptive conduct. She is incompetent of understanding Daisy’s need for attention, thereby generating Daisy’s disgraceful pursuit of male attention.
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"Teenage Wasteland" Parent/Child relationships are very hard to establish among individuals. This particular relationship is very important for the child from birth because it helps the child to be able to understand moral and values of life that should be taught by the parent (s). In the short story "Teenage Wasteland", Daisy (mother) fails to provide the proper love and care that should be given ...
And because Mrs. Miller lacks the control to direct or influence Daisy’s beliefs, Daisy is able to disregard the advice of others. All of Daisy’s behaviors parallel that of an untrained child and, like the child in the supermarket, it is the job of the mother to teach the difference of what is appropriate.