Probably this is the loneliest, I can say for the past days I’ve had when i started sinking into this infinite abyss, day of my life. It is New Year’s Day and I am practically without nothing. I feel naked and I have been all the more disrobed. I have no idea when I will ever feel clothed again. I am sitting on top of the world, writing down my thoughts because there is nothing to do. I have no one to talk to, not even the wind which lackadaisically brushes the sides of my pallid skin. No, not the wind, because it is too inanimate for me to relate with.
And all I long for now is the luxury of animation to comfort me and clout me with the assurance that I am still here, breathing. I am still alive, that I have survived the great torrents of realities that have pulled me and that I still continue to, nevertheless. That is all I live for now. It is quite boring for it has become my daily rhythm. It brings a painful lashing into my ears which has turned them unhearing and insensitive from the monotony it gives me. I am still here, sitting on myself.
Wondering when I will ever listen. When I will ever learn to let go of my pitch dark past and listen to its lonely humming. It is New ear’s Day. It is supposed to be noisy and raucous with the loud din and blast from the firecrackers these festive people around me are lighting. But to me, there is only silence. I must have gone deaf….
