Polar forces are always in the midst of scientific study. The physics surrounding the movements of our home, the earth, revolves around opposing forces. With such importance to science, opposing forces could quite possibly be a factor in dealing with dating, and couple compatibility. The common phrase, “opposite’s attract,” in reference to dating, assumes that people’s personalities come together like different forces, and that those with opposite personalities must attract. So we are dealing with personality, and it’s compatibility with others. To study this we must find different classifications of personality, decide which personalities are the most opposite, and find people who fit the personality to test the saying.
The most opposite personality traits obtainable will be used. John C. Rowland, professor with a doctorate in psychology said, “It is believed that opposing forces in people’s personalities can play a big part in sparking attractions” (Rowland, p. 56).
After completing the study, it is expected that it will be shown that people with opposite personalities are naturally attracted to each other. To start the procedure an add was placed in the Boston Globe for strait, 30-35 year old, single, women to apply to make 500 dollars for going on four dates with four separate guys, and completing a questionnaire after the four dates.
Needless to say, we received over 2, 000 replies, and many women filled out long applications, with at times very personal questions. From the many personality data points and interviews we were able to create on these women, we selected the women who were the most confident, adventurous, wild, dominant and experienced with relationships. We picked tall, thin, blond, attractive women. We were able to draw up 20 of these women (Group A), picked by our statistical computer that processed all of the information.
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We then placed another add in the paper for strait, 30-35 year old men who would go on one date, and we offered 500 dollars as with the first add. This time we got more than 9, 000 applications, and waited for all the processing to be done before receiving 20 men that seemed most shy, introverted, problems with depression, tame, and passive (Group B).
These men were all either around the same height, or slightly shorter than the picked women. They looked dark, bold, mysterious and were slightly above average in weight.
By most apparent and obvious personality traits, these two groups, of men and women, are on different ends of the personality spectrum. 60 more men, 20 (Group C) are chosen that have very similar personalities as Group A, and 40 men (Group D) with completely different personalities, than that of Group A or B. Each women goes on a planned date with 4 different men, one of which is from group B, and the other 3 from groups C and D. The dates are exactly the same each time; The man picks the woman up, they go to the same restaurants, same theater (a different play is permitted), and same nightclub. At the end of the night, the man will walk the woman to her door, and will say goodnight with a kiss on the cheek, and no more. After the four dates, the woman will answer a questionnaire with the questions: Which man, numbered in order of the date, were you most attracted to, in all senses of the word? Pick just one.
What man would you most like to see again in the future? Pick just one. Thank you and please be honest. Your cash is in the mail. The results of the study were as follows: Percent of women who were most attracted to the man from group B: 55% Percent of women who were most attracted to the man from group C: 30% Percent of women who were most attracted to one of the men from group D: 15% Percent of women who would consider dating the man more in the future from group B more than any other group: 75% Percent of women who would consider dating the man more in the future from group C more than any other group: 15% Percent of women who would consider dating one of the men more in the future from group D more than any other group: 10% From the results of our study, we can conclude that, people may be more attracted to those who are opposite them (group B) in many strong personality points. It is even more interesting that the women seemed to view the men from group B as better long term companions, even in some cases when the women were more attracted to a man from group C or D. Jane Trenton, who received a doctorate in sociology at Harvard University, said that, “People with opposite personalities are bound to attract.
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In their simplest forms, people’s main personality points come together to either clash, fit, or land somewhere in the middle. An example: a man who is extremely dominant in nature, is more likely to be attracted to a woman who is very passive in nature. It is also true that the woman is likely to be attracted to the dominant male” (Trenton, p. 4).
This experiment has many limitations. It makes assumptions based on heterosexual couple’s attractions, which are an extremely hard thing to measure. Everyone has their own personal types, and little things they love or hate about people, that no one could measure. However, it is evident that some polar opposites really do attract at a higher rate than those who are similar, or otherwise different from each other in a non-opposing fashion. Sources of error may stem from the small sample (20 women, 80 dates), or the fact that we used just one group of what we defined as opposite personalities, without seeing if other, completely different opposing personalities (such as conservative / liberal).
A better way of measuring could be found with a larger sampling, to chart all people into different personalities on a graph, and to be able to see opposing forces better.
Results could have been thrown off by who was the first, last, or 2 nd or 3 rd to go on a date with the woman. Perhaps by the fourth date she was fed up with the process. Perhaps the women, knowing someone they didn’t know would be reading their answers, lied or exaggerated either in the personality application or with the date questionaire. This study does, however, show simply that people with opposite personality traits often naturally attract to eachother. References: Rowland, John C. , Dating in the 90’s: The informative guide.
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Simon and Schuster Publishing Ltd. , New York, NY, 1996. Trenton, Jane, Mr. Right. Brown Publishing Co. , Providence, Rhode Island, 2001.
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