The best way for teenagers and parents to resolve their conflict.
Last Friday night Mike wanted to borrow his parents car to go to a party
at his friends house, he asked his mom and dad, but they told him no. He really
wanted to go to the party but didn’t have a way to get there. He offered to do
work for them for use of the car, but they still said no. They had been through
this before, so his mom didn’t even bother to start to explain why not.
His mom was a nurse at the hospital four miles away, she needed the car
incase she was needed at the hospital for an emergency. They only had one car
so this made it difficult to meet everyone’s needs. Mike thought about it, they
lived in a pretty small, boring town in which nothing really happened anyway,
so he decided that he was going to take the car to the party anyway. He casually
took the keys off of the table while his mom was talking on the phone, and he
went out the back door and into the garage. He started the car up the and took
off down the road towards the highway.
The car had a fairly nice stereo system which Mike had been adding to
since they had got the car. He had spent at least four-hundred dollars on a
sub-woofer alone. The car itself was rather new and in good condition, it would
be only a couple years old in March. He was working at a restaurant just a
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couple blocks away from his house trying to earn enough money to get his own
car so he could go and do as he pleased.
Mike was driving down the highway fifteen miles over the speed limit
trying to make up for the time lost arguing with his parents. The stereo was
considerably loud, which is probably why he didn’t here the train coming down
the tracks. But once he saw the train it was too late, he slammed on the brakes
and quickly cut the wheel to the right trying to avoid the train, and he did, but
he hit a big telephone pole instead.
Fifteen minutes later, his mothers pager went off, she needed to be at the
hospital soon, it was an emergency! She raced out to the garage to find the car
gone, she asked her husband where Mike had gone and he said that he went out
the back door about forty five minutes ago and hadn’t seen him since. She
knew right then that Mike had taken the car. She knew she had to be at the
hospital very soon so she called her neighbor, explained the situation, and asked
if he would drive her to hospital. Being a good neighbor he said yes.
When she arrived at the hospital and ran to the emergency room, she was
a little surprised to see it was her son laying on the bed. She asked another
nurse what how he was doing and Mike said, “I’m ok mom… I’m sorry”. He
looked pretty torn up, but he would make it. She was glad that he was going to
be ok, but angry that he disobeyed her.
This conflict could have been resolved by compromising a little bit.
Compromising is a good way for teens and parents to resolve their conflicts
because both sides win. Both sides would get what they want by only
sacrificing a little bit. For example, his mother could have taken Mike to the
party, this way, Mike gets to go to the party and his mom still has the car if she
needs it. This is just one reason why compromising is good to resolve conflicts.
Another reason why compromising is good is because nobody has to defy
or deny what the other wants. By compromising, one person doesn’t have to
tell the other person no, and that person doesn’t have to go against the ruling. If
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Mike’s mother had taken him to the party, Mike wouldn’t have had to taken the
car when he was told no. Sometimes this might not work, but you shouldn’t do
something like Mike did.
Compromising is more effective than yelling and screaming at each
other. A lot of the time when a person yells at someone else, the other person
tends not to listen at all. If Mike and his mom just started yelling at each other,
they would be too busy yelling to listen to the other ones thoughts. By talking
instead of yelling they get a better understanding of what they want.
These are just a few good reasons why compromise is the best way to
settle a conflict between teens and parents. The conflict in the story could have
easily been settled by compromising a little. If it were settled, Mike would be at
the party instead of the hospital, and they would still have a car. Next time you
get in a conflict with a teen or parent, try to compromise a solution to the
problem.
