“Rick what do you want to do about our relationship”, ” I don’t know what do you want”, “Whatever you want is what I want”, “Rick I need to know how you feel”, Then he reverses it and says, “what do you feel”, “I care about you and want to be with you”I feel what you feel, but work keeps me busy”, “Babe hold on I have to look at the ESPN scores”, “Rick I am trying to have a conversation with you”, “Go ahead talk babe, I am listening”Rick what do you want to do about our relationship”, “Babe what did you say”, These are some of the discussions I have with my boyfriend Rick. I can never seem to get a straight answer from him or get him to listen to me. We have been together for a year. Rick and I have been best friends for about 10 years. We have always been there for each other, especially when both of us were getting out of bad relationships. Rick has always stood by me, even through my darkest time.
Especially when my daughter’s father left me when I was two months pregnant. He stood by my side through the pregnancy and after. Then one day we realized we have always had feelings for each other but never could act on them because we were with someone else. We finally thought it was time to act on those feelings.
In July his employer, Coca-Cola moved him to Fresno. Of course, I did not like it, but we have always supported each other. It would not be right for me to ask him to choose. It would be more money and higher position for him.
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I remember the day you changed my life, my love, for it was a long time coming. You were trying to blend in with the rest of them but I only had eyes for you. A strong overwhelming feeling struck me like lightning, butterflies and excitement. Perhaps ordinary to anyone else, but to me, you were shiny and new. I’d heard so many good things about you from my friends; it made me quiver jealousy to ...
I did not want to be in the way or have him throw it in my face later. Therefore, I felt I had to support him on his decision. We both told each other that it would not affect our relationship. We could spend weekends together, I could go to Fresno, or he could come here to Stockton. Rick said nothing would change. However, of course, like dummies we believed that.
This is where everything fell apart. In the beginning of our relationship, we never seemed to have problems communicating. We both knew what we wanted and what we expected out of each other. Lately that has not been the case.
It seems like we are talking two different languages. I talk and he listens. Since he moved to Fresno, we have not seen each other in 3 months. It has just been telephone calls and e-mails. He seems to be content with that. Of course being a woman, I was not.
Therefore, I let Rick know how I felt. Hoping I would get some kind of response from him. Every question I would ask him, he would reverse it and ask me. For example, “Rick do you still want to be together.”Do you want to be together.” When I gave my answer, he would say whatever you want I want. Then their where times, when he did not even listen to me. He was too busy watching ESPN highlights.
I was trying to let him know that we have not spent any time together and I do not like it. His excuse would be work keeps him busy and I am making a big thing out of nothing. That I should know, he loves me. How would I know that when he stoped telling me or spending time with me.
It was driving me crazy. Rick did not seem to really get what I was trying to tell him. No matter how much I tried to explain to him how I was feeling, he just did not understand. I understand that work is keeping him busy. I know that now that he has a higher position he is responsible for a lot more people. I know how it feels to have a lot of responsibility at work.
I am in the same position at work. I also know that he has worked very hard to get where he is now and he is trying to make a good impression at work. He tells me he is doing this for us, once things are set in Fresno, he will ask to transfer to a closer place. I know work has him traveling a lot and there is not always a lot of time for me. I know I can not always be the center of his attention. That he needs his space and have a life of his own.
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This expository essay is designed to be read by any human being that has some sort of relationship with someone or a group of people. It explores the idea of being human means to have good or bad relationships in the context of Romance and Relationships. This piece is designed to explore and explain and after reading it, the audience should understand that humans are made and born to have ...
It could be also, he does not communicate well with me because of bad experiences in previous relationships. In order for us to maintain a healthy relationship, we need to be able to communicate. We are on different wavelengths when it comes to communicating. Our miscommunication’s revolved around three elements. Saying what he thought I wanted to hear, not wanting to hurt my feelings and being quiet.
Rick was good at saying what he thought I wanted to hear. The thing is I knew he was doing that to end the conversation or to get me off his back. He figured if he could be supportive, we would not have to wallow in this conversation. He would always give me a solution and then dismiss the issue. If he said what I wanted to hear, he could avoid getting angry or into an argument. “Whatever you want babe I want.” This was his favorite saying.
Another miscommunication we had was he never said what he really felt. He felt that if he did this he would hurt my feelings or me. This partly was caused by a previous relationship, where he spoke his mind. Where their main issue was he was always out to hurt her, because of the things he said. I tried to explain to him I was different.
That I could handle his criticism. I would tell him, I am a single mom, I hear criticism all the time, or sometimes at my job, I have to hear criticism. Rick would still not give in. For example, one day I put on a lot of makeup, beyond what I would wear.
I pretty much looked like I belonged to the circus as a clown. I went to him and said “babe how do I look.” Rick’s reply was “honey you look beautiful.” Not saying what he really wanted to say because he was afraid, I would get hurt. “I tell him I can’t hear what you don’t say.” The other problem we have with communication is he is always quiet. I will tell him about my day or a problem I am having and his response will be nothing.
Just dead, silence. I always have to ask him if he is listening to me. Of course, he say yes. Just like when I talk about our relationship and how us being apart is effecting us. For example, I told him I wanted to break up. His reply was silence.
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1. Understand factors affecting the capacity of individuals to develop and/or maintain relationships 1.1 Analyse reasons why individuals may find it difficult to establish or maintain relationships There are several factors that come into play here. There may be an issue with the individuals communication needs, it can be difficult to establish a relationship and maintain it if your communication ...
It does not matter what we talk about I always get silence. Communication is not always easy in a relationship. Sometimes women want men to do what we want. This is something we need to change. It has to be a mutual thing. We need to understand as women, men do have different communication styles.
We need to find a middle ground where we can meet and find understanding. I have learned that you can not turn a man into someone he is not. You need to love him for who he is and the way he makes you feel. There are different ways to connect to him..
