By the time I woke up, there was a big oxygen bag next to me which had a tube connected to a mask on my mouth. It felt a little itchy; I guess that was how I was wakened. Later, I was told that I passed out right after the Tibetans put on the Hatas on my neck in Tibetan airport. I was embarrassed but more of it, I was worried. To most people, it might seem like an adventurous trip to the highest plateau on the earth; to me, it was the primary resource gathering for my Extended essay on Dalai Lama and the Chinese communist party.
Being a Chinese, writing my extended essay topic on something as controversial as this one is not always as easy. I was told I was a ‘nut’ when my Chinese friends found out I was researching his topic; I was asked to talk to the school dean from the Chinese department when the school heard about my extended essay plan; my parents gave me a two hours long lecture on how dangerous it could be on provoking the Chinese government by doing this topic. However, with all those difficulties and troubles, I was finally here, to wrap up my extended essay with primary resource.
Attended to a local primary school full of rocket scientists’ children, the Chinese education system had a huge influence on me. Always being obedient to the teachers, the text books were 100% reliable and getting the final answer with fancy tactics in mathematics seemed to be the best way to prove one’s intelligence. However, in the year 2004, I not only experienced a physical move to an International school, but a total mental revolution. Everything fixed was then questionable. For the first time in my life, I knew that the text books were not perfect, in fact, they were misguiding in some way. I knew the Tian’anmen square massacre from my Geography class which I had never heard of in any of the publifications in China or from my parents.
The three schools of thought-Confucian, Taoist, and Legalist, all have different views and reasons as to whether or not the United States should be involved in the conflict in Kosovo. Each school perceived Tao in different ways and had different view?s on human nature. To consider how each school would take its side on this issue, we must first have some background information on the Confucius ...
I found out the so called “Xizang autonomous province” was actually invaded by my own country which was now still fighting for its independence. Its spiritual leader, the Dalai Lama was forced to flee to India. Tibet should be an independent country! After knowing all this, disbeliefs and doubts arose from both the Chinese propaganda and the Western media. I decided to have my both eyes see how it was really like in Tibet rather than people telling me how it was like. With all these and a long talk with my parents, I was packing up for Tibet.
After interviewing a few Tibetans with the aid from a Tibetan translator, I felt deeply segregated being an outsider, especially a Han outsider from them. From the ambivalent way they thought, the incoherent words they said to the translator, and the final blank beam they gave me when I asked the question “who do you worship the most?” I could feel what they longed badly deep in their heart which they didn’t want me, a Han, to notice. For the first time, I stopped believing my government and started questioning everything around me. Am I living in a world full of lies and communism propaganda? Why was my internet banned when browsing information about Tibet? Why would I be warned writing simply something I’m interested? Why would I feel more ashamed the further I got to my research on Tibet? All these kept me on this topic with my faith, a faith believing what is true not what is told. A motivation that enables me to keep on digging my research and a motivation that leads me to my future studies.