Infidelity is the act of unfaithfulness to a person, union or situation. Marriage infidelity is a common phenomenon that is almost as equally participated in by wives as well as husbands. There is a significant amount of time dedicated to the subject. Everything from talk shows to weekly dramas, rely on the topic of infidelity for ratings. How to avoid and / or survive infidelity are usually the topics.
But rarely does one address the psychology of infidelity. People cheat for various reasons – but they all do it for some sort of psychological stimulation. Here are the main psychological roots of infidelity. Insecurity Insecure adulterers may feel insecure about the fortitude of their marriage. The insecurity may be personal, whereas one feels unworthy of their spouse. They don’t feel on equal level to their spouse and always fear that they will lose their spouse and marriage.
The fear becomes great in these people and they seek ways to resolve it. Believing that the dissolution of their marriage is inevitable, they never consider options such as counseling. Instead they turn their attention to minimizing their fear and pain. This is where an affair enters. The affair serves as security for if the marriage ends. The adulterer feels that they have a safety net to rely upon.
They may also choose a partner who they feel equal or superior to. This temporarily relieves their feelings of inadequacy. Control The controlling adulterer cheats in order to feel powerful. They may not have any, or what they deem to be enough control in their marriage. There are several ways in which lack of control manifests into an extramarital affair. The adulterer may choose a person who is easily controllable.
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This is prevalent in domineering types and / or spouses who are dominated. Since in their marriage they relinquish control, sometimes to the point of abuse, they resolve their frustrations in an extramarital affair. The second way one feels controlling in an affair is the ability to choose and select. In a marriage, compromise is essential.
Many spouses do it willingly, but some do it unwillingly. Having an affair, especially an unserious one, allows the adulterer to control how, when and where the relationship unfolds. One can establish the rules and manipulate them to one’s advantage. The inability or unwillingness to compromise is solved through having a controlling affair.
One can even create and control a new personal image through an affair. Neglect This is the number one reason that adulterers cite for cheating. It is almost always the reason women cite for their extramarital affairs. Everyone needs psychological stimulation. Without it one begins to suffer from mental and emotional neglect. Sometimes, when a couple has been together for a long time, they begin to neglect each other.
They don’t talk with or inquire about each other as often. They may even neglect to have sexual intercourse as often, or at all. This type of neglect leaves a person feeling frustrated at best, and undesirable at worst. Neglected people are the group that affairs find them; they don’t always look for or initiate affairs. Neglected spouses can become like wounds in desperate need of a bandage. They may use work, religion or an affair, unknowingly, as their bandage.
Or they can end up in an affair because somebody provided them with the attention that their spouse had neglected to give them. The psychology of infidelity is an important area to seek knowledge in, if you are in a committed relationship. Often times we blame others and ourselves when an affair occurs in our relationship. If we understand various personality types and individual needs, one can tailor a relationship that will prevent infidelity and promote a happy union.
