By refusing to converse with each other about the accident, the Brennan family were refusing to acknowledge the events and their new situation in Coghill. This was shown by the way they played the “tiptoe game” a way of avoiding speaking about important information. Tom believed he “didn’t feel the need to blab” be- cause he and Kylie did “all that crap … back home with the counselor” (pg87), and that, “There was no point talking about it, ‘cause there was nothing to gain,” (pg85).
After visiting him, Brendan “didn’t want to say how bad Fin really was because it’d upset Joel,” and Joe “couldn’t tell Brendan, or anyone for that matter, what state Daniel was in” (pg83).
If “they weren’t playing tiptoe … Tom wished they were” (pg87).
Tess demonstrated denial differently when she questioned Tom about the circumstances of the accident; whether Tom was “sure it was Daniel who was driving,” or Daniel who started the fight. (shown on pgs105-6).
Denial is a defense mechanism; once a person has recognized that they cannot continue denying the facts, they can move on to the second stage of grief. Once in the stage of anger, the Brennan family manifested anger at either themselves, or with each other. Kylie Brennan showed her anger through rebellion, by taking up smoking and wearing heavy eye makeup (beginning of pg111).
She was subconsciously punishing her family because she didn’t “think they cared when they dragged her to Coghill” (pg86).
The Essay on Alzheimers & Empowering Family Caregivers
People who know someone who has just been analyzed with Alzheimer’s, have a hard time trying to figure out what to do and who to go to for help (Empowering Family Caregivers, p.1). As has been said by author Daniel Kuhn, the premature stages of Alzheimer’s are the worst times for relations and friends as they frequently have no idea about the disease or how they can help out the patient. For their ...
When Tom questioned her, she said she’d “been smoking for ages.
He just hadn’t noticed” (pg86).
She later confessed to being “so angry at Daniel” because “what he did had ruined everything,” for herself and Tom (pg189).
Carmel was a prime example of anger at her family, particularly Daniel. She be- lived that there was “not point indulging in self-pity”(pg63), because “life goes on” (pg4).
She created a scrapbook with newspaper clippings about the accident (bottom of pg164) and told Father Vincent that the only way he could help her family was to “pray for them – and while he’s there, pray for the soul of their son Daniel” (pg12).
Tom knew he wasn’t supposed to take his anger out on his family, but “no matter how hard he tried, it got hold of him before he had a change to get a hold on it” (pg36).
During an argument with Kylie he described how “the anger scolded his insides as it bubbled and spewed up his throat” (pg36).
When the anger lessened, each character tried to make sense of what happened, with the only logical answer being it was their fault. Guilt is a way of making sense of what has happened by blaming oneself. Each member of family harbored some guilt for the cause of the accident.
Tess believed she could have stopped Daniel from making such a huge mistake and blamed herself for not being able to control him (pg230).
She showed this when she asked Tom, “What did I do wrong with my first born? ” (pg85).
Tom had been harboring guilt for walking away from Daniel the night of the accident. He confessed to Kylie that he’d “wanted Daniel to really, really stuff things up. Then pay for it big time” and that, “if he’d hung around, he could have stopped him from getting into that car” (pg228).
Kylie admitted to Tom that if she’d “minded her own business and didn’t go in there playing matchmaker” then Daniel would have not felt the need to pick a fight with Fin (pg227).
She felt responsible for the fight and had “tried to be tough, but inside she’d been cracking up” (pg228).
Joe knew that what had happened was not his fault, but felt an eternal debt towards Kath and Fin. He tried to compensate by paying for everything in Fin’s new apartment, all the while acknowledging that they’d “never be able to repay the debt” (pg259).
The Term Paper on Causes And Effects Of The Great Depression In The United States
This paper discusses and analyzes the causes and effects of the Great Depression which happened in the United States during 1929 to late 1930s or early 1940s. The causes of the Great Depression are several, for example, the drastic decline in the quantity of money in industrial economies and the drops of the price on agricultural products. Since the Great Depression is the longest, most widespread ...
When the reality of what happened set in and that blaming someone else was futile, each of the Brennans settled into depression. There are different types and degrees of depression, ranging from sadness to clinical depression with suicidal tendencies. Tess, Tom and Brendan demonstrate various stages of depression. Although she was not diagnosed, Tess showed many symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Clinical Depression, such as her loss of interest, depressed state, her inability to move from her bed for days at a time.
Tom described her as “an old per- son – stale and still” (pg84).
Tom spoke repetitively about a black hole, tunnel or curtain which “had no beginning and no end” (pg126) and would “choke [his] breath and squeeze [his] brain” (pg90).
He explained how “there was nothing in his blood” because he “could feel the emptiness pumping in his veins” (pg114).
The sadness that Brendan had was masked well by the strong front he put up. When Tom observes Brendan drinking heavily, crying and listening to ‘Daniel’ by Elton John (pg237) he discovers “Brendan’s tears could have been any of theirs (pg238).
Depression could be referred to as a rehearsal for the aftermath, as it is a form of acceptance with emotional attachment. Acceptance is the second last stage of grief. In this stage, individuals come to terms with what happened and the lack of control they possess over the situation. Tom shows that he accepted he couldn’t have helped Daniel when he explains to Kylie how “Daniel was on a self-destruct mission” (pg228).
“Dan always did what he wanted to do” and maybe he was “always going to do something like this” and that “maybe he had to fall this far” (pg230).
Tess displayed signs of acceptance when she made dinner for the family. Tom knew “they were only omelet’s” but it was “the most she’d cooked in ages” (middle pg236).
Kylie showed she’d accepted Fin’s new situation when she told Tom she wouldn’t leave Aralan until Fin was “settled and the flat and she he was going to be okay” (pg262) Acceptance is about using the lessons we learned in life to come to terms with the realities of the world, on our own terms. The final stage of grief is growth, which is an opportunity to use the lessons learnt through the first five stages to start anew.
The Essay on Healthy Grief 4
Feeling and expressing grief is unique to each individual and it depends on the nature of their loss. People experience all kinds of emotions, pain and sadness that are considered normal reactions to a significant loss. While there is no right or wrong way to grieve, there are healthy ways to cope with the grief (helpguide.org). Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, a Psychiatrist invented the “five stages of ...
Tom was the only member of the Brennan family to progress far enough through the stages of grief to experience the chance for personal growth. He demonstrates his new found wisdom when he explains to Kylie how “we’ll never be the same, but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad. Just different” (pg231).
Each member of the Brennan family underwent a journey after the tragedy caused by Daniel Brennan. Each individual journey showed how although tragedy effects people differently, the effects all branch from the six stages of grief.
