Addict Tweak is a tale of addiction describing the experiences of Nic Sheff, who was for many years addicted to various drugs. Meth and heroin to begin with, later coke and mixing different drugs (Tweak).
This book was actually written in response to a book by David Sheff called Beautiful Boy. It was about the experience of dealing with his son’s addictions and their consequences for his family. Nic Sheff was 18 and collage bound when he discovered crystal meth.
At first his father had no idea. Then came a call from his school, the late nights, the lying, the ghoulish pallor and the wasting away. David’s life became an eternity of waiting, for the phone to ring, the door to open, or for any sign that his Nic was safe. His fears were less dreadful than his son’s reality; begging, dealing, and promiscuous sex whatever it took to dim the pain. The feeling of emptiness that had terrorized him at least since his parents’ divorce when he was a child.
The first third of Tweak is a demonstration of the kind of depraved lifestyle Nic’s addiction leads to, a study of how quickly an addict can move down the downward spiral to the point where he or she will do absolutely anything for drugs, or money for drugs, for instances stealing even from his loved ones. Nothing was out of the question. In this book, Nic repeatedly addresses the question of how far a person can fall apart before they realize they need to pull themselves together.
Sheff enters rehab multiple times, but for various reasons he relapses into heavy drug use, despite a few near-death occurrences and an absolutely, unlivable lifestyle. Each time he tries to come back to reality, so Sheff reaches out to his family and close friends, but not surprisingly, after several times of hearing the same song the relationships become more and more shaky, and even family members stop believing that he will remain sober.
The Essay on Drug Addiction and Time
I believe that I am an addict, I made a lot of bad decisions in my life. But the worst was my decision to start using drugs. From the day that I started using to now I have loved it. And at times I would do just about anything to get it, I have done just about everything except sell my body. I stole from the people I love to get what I needed. Using drugs went from only on the weekends, to a ...
It was the classic story of the boy who cried wolf in their eyes. I have to say at the beginning of the book, I was expecting to get more insight into Nic Sheff’s behavior and to gain an understanding of , or sympathy for his choices and lifestyle. This didn’t happen. I was truly shocked at just how depraved and desperate his lifestyle became each time he descended into heavy usage. Relationships with friends and family meant nothing, except as a means of gaining money to keep up with his drug habits.
Second, I became increasingly upset at how many chances he had to pull himself out of the mess, or at least try to pull himself out, or had even gotten out and chose so easily to return. I really do think that he behaved in an entirely self-centered, and destructive way, completely refusing to open his eyes to the truths around him. I guess that’s the point, drugs were a side effect of depressing truths in his life that he was too afraid to realize.
I completely understand how after the first few times of listening to him go on about how his life had changed, They would stop believing that he would stay sober. I’m not sure I even believed it now. I am glad I read Tweak, if only to open my eyes a bit to just how bad an addiction can really be, how strongly deep-seated insecurities and unfinished business can affect the addiction, and how truly difficult it is to bring yourself out of the cycle of hardcore addiction.
