Walking back down the long dusty path into an experience of a life time, knowing I cant go back. Ive left my world behind me, troubles, truths, love, hates. The only things that accompany me on my way are the memories of all the good and bad things that have happened to me. The only thing that awaits me on the other side is complete paradise. As the cotton candy clouds of heaven open up for me, only happiness is left by my side. My strawberry body is filled with emotions, and yet still feels empty. I keep on walking, yet something is holding me back, a fear, an uncertainty. What if I dont belong here? I could be expelled from this place like a rock being thrown into the lazy ocean, lapping at the golden shore.
I remember all the people I have known, all the places I have been. I know this is part of the great odyssey that is life, and death. And yet I still know nothing about the things that will greet me on the other side of the gate, and if I want to go on at all. The road is getting smaller now, and I know I cant stop. Everything I am feeling must be pushed forward, I mustnt let it hold me back. The road is getting steeper as I climb towards a mystery, and now I see her.
She is the thing that keeps me going, the warming candle burning in my sensitive, aching heart. For many years I have waited for this moment hoping it would come, but somehow dreading it. Her smile is as warm as the sun breaking the horizon at dawn. Her lips are the colour of a bright red, wet lollypop, glistening and twinkling in the sun. Her eyes are the pure blue of the sky out of a bedroom window in the morning, warm and inviting. Her fine, golden hair bounces with the wind at her shoulders. I want to hug her and never let go again, like I did so many years ago.
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Kiara, she called softly, I didnt know what to say. I remember the heartbreaking day it happened. Like a crook taking a sweet from a baby, her life was snatched from her, never to be returned. The sadness I felt was immense and managed to penetrate my whole body, unearthing a horrifying experience I could never forget. As I look back over the years I have had to live without her, I think of all the things that she has missed from life: leaving primary school; moving up to high school; exams she would have had to struggle through; relationships. The pearly gates are now wide open, spilling out their wonders from inside. The site is overwhelming and so vast; it is place I could not even dream about, and even now find it hard to describe.
Cheryl will always be there for me now, no matter what happens, whoever else comes. I step through the doorway and an extraordinary feeling fills me from head to toe. It is incredible and it makes me feel so warm, and protected. I look around. All I can see are a thousand blissful, welcoming faces all there just for me. A chorus of angelic voices fills the shimmering air, their sounds whistle like the wind about my face. I take a walk along the padded floor and stumble across a wide lake.
A strange feeling of dj vu floods over me. I am sure I have been to this place before, but I cant remember where, or when. I step closer to the lake so my body is bending over it and as I look down I cant believe my eyes. I feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up, and my heart already pounding. My whole body feels like it is buzzing with excitement. I can see what is happening back on earth. I can see my mum washing the dishes and my sister drying them.
It is a great feeling to know I will always be able to look down on them and find out what they are doing and if they are alright..