From the literature on sociolinguistics and from your own observation of speech of men and women (in both same-sex and cross-sex conversations), do you believe women always speak a purer, more refined and more polite language than men?
Language is used by both men and women to communicate, but do women talk differently from men? Is language comprehended and used differently by women and men? Do both men and women use the same words to express their feelings, and same ways to make friends, or argue?
The differences between men and women’s speech show up grammatically. As an example of lexical differences, imagine a man and a woman both looking at the same shirt, with a pinkish shade of purple, the woman may say:
1- the shirt is mauve
No one would have any strong reaction on her choice of words, but if the man says 1, people might think he is being sarcastic or was a homosexual or an interior decorator. And that shows that Women are more precise in naming colors than do men, words like “beige, ecru, aquamarine, and lavender” are rich in a woman’s active vocabulary, but absent from that of most men. (Roman, Camille., Juhasz, Suzanne., Miller, Christanne, 1994)
Men consider more important matters that could involve their egos than naming a certain shade of color, such as what kind of job to hold .whereas Women are not expected to make important decisions; therefore they sop their minds in naming a color. (Roman, Camille., Juhasz, Suzanne., Miller, Christanne, 1994)
... was a non-word. The results indicated that word names that were written in the same color ink enhanced correct color naming performance not only ... Stroop effect; and (2): when word reading is slower than ink-naming, ink color will interfere with word reading. Their results did not support ...
As another example on the differences between men and women’s speech, let’s take a look at these two phrases.
A: oh shit
B: oh goodness
One would assume that A is taken from a man’s speech , and B from a woman’s speech, however in the relatively recent time many women are becoming able to use words like “shit” publically, even though it’s still being disapproved, so the fact that more and more women are using men’s language recently analogues to the fact that men’s jobs are being sought by women, but few men are wanting to become housewives or secretaries (Roman, Camille., Juhasz, Suzanne., Miller, Christanne,1994), the language of the favored group, the group that holds power, along is generally adopted by the other group, not vice versa, the stronger expletives are reserved for men, and the weaker ones for women. (Roman, Camille., Juhasz, Suzanne., Miller, Christanne, 1994)
In general, the choice of our words shows how a person allows oneself to express their feelings about a certain situation, so the strength of an emotion would be conveyed in a sentence, therefore using “oh goodness” instead of “oh shit” shows that the speaker is not letting oneself to show their anger, if they have any . The speaker is assumed to be a woman.
A general fact is that women’s speech sounds much more polite than men’s. Politeness defined as leaving decisions open, not imposing your mind, or views, or claims on anyone else, using a tag question:
“When is dinner going to be ready?”
is a kind of polite statement, in that it does not force agreement or belief on the addressee, a request may be in the same sense a polite command (Women and language, expressing conflict: Roman, Camille., Juhasz, Suzanne., Miller, Christanne,1994,pg.326)
Women, angry confrontations rarely if ever occurs, they tend to hide it , interactions are avoided, and gossip, mockery, and backstabbing, non responsiveness or tense replies , clipped pronunciation and abrupt timing, distancing, avoidance of smiling, of eye contact, and of physical contact, indicate veiled anger. (Roman, Camille., Juhasz, Suzanne., Miller, Christanne 1994,pg327)
Men, in contrast can and do express conflict overtly in relatively private contexts both verbal and physical abuse from husband to wife are routine in many households. In public arenas, men are likely to express open conflict only if drunk. (Roman, Camille., Juhasz, Suzanne., Miller, Christanne,1994.pg328)
... aggressive than others. Watch out for: o men who express anger or aggression towards women as individuals or in general. Hostile feelings can ... . It can be that cute neighbor, the blind date your friend set you up with, even your husband of boyfriend. The ... have gone out with them previously and are supposedly their friends. Acquaintance rape is forced, unwanted intercourse with a person you ...
Differences between men and women are marked by power and social status, and this leads to non-reciprocal forms of address, as example in work situations, where it’s not uncommon for a male boss to address his female secretary, by their first name or even an endearment such as sugar, darling, sweetie, girlie, Shatzeng, in German, schat in Dutch, and ma petite in French, (Pauwels, Anne, 1998).
But the female worker cannot reciprocate in similar terms.
Women as friends, use certain linguistic strategies that function in term of their goal of friendship : construction and maintenance of close and equal social relationships. Women use certain strategies to get to their goal .
Stories are a basic element of the speech of women friends. Narrating stories satisfies women friends need to keep in touch with each other’s lives. Stories allow women to explore themes of connection with their friends. (Coates, Jennifer, 1996, pg263)
Hedges help to preserve openness and to avoid closure and conflict; speakers need to avail themselves of linguistic forms like hedges which enable them to say what they mean without blocking others from making their own personal statements. (Coates, Jennifer.1996.pg263)
Like hedges, They help us to check that we are still in tune with each other, and allow us to ask for help when were stuck for a word, questions are also used to invite friends to tell stories. They are a way of expressing general truth questions are a valuable resource, emphasizing the shared quest for answers rather than individual knowledge. Even information-seeking questions have a role in sustaining friendship: in the talk of younger female speakers information exchange is important, especially info about boys and but adolescent problems in general fundamentally questions are a way of expressing solidarity and connection (Coates, Jennifer 1996, pg263)
... displaying the contrasts in the way women and men conduct themselves. By dividing the men and women in the story and observing the outcome of ... to the barn and around there." The attorney didn't express any sympathy whatsoever, but was more concerned with getting on ... regretted the fact that she never visited her long time friend except when it was too late. Also, when the county ...
Repetition is a regular feature of the talk of women friends. It is a powerful way of affirming the group voice, since it means that two or more speakers say the same thing in some form or another. Repetition can take place at the level of words or phrases or clauses; it can involve grammar and meaning as well as vocabulary. Repetition becomes powerful symbol of the connection we feel with each other. (Coates, Jennifer 1996, pg263)
Whereas men’s friendship and from my own observation, tends to be much easier, discussing politics, sports, and women over a beer is the most common form of bonding between men’s friends.
Women and Men are both human beings; however they are different biologically and socially. As argued in this paper, Both men and women use different lexical terms to express the same feeling or idea. they express their conflicts differently, a women’s friendship is far more complicated then men’s and that takes us to one conclusion , which is yes women and men do speak differently. However in these days women are becoming more and freer about expressing their feelings in terms of words, does this mean in ten years women are going to speak exactly the same as men?