Samantha is a 48-year-old African American elementary school teacher who has been married four times. She was first married to her high school sweetheart at the age of 18. He died three years later in the Vietnam War. She married her second husband seven years after that, but the marriage ended in divorce, when it was discovered that her husband was gay. Her third marriage was to a man who was 10 years her junior and that marriage ended after 3 years when she found out that her husband was having an affair with a younger woman. Now this current marriage is ending because of a lack of passion and companionship, and an apparent general disinterest. Samantha dreads the aftermath of this divorce. She has begun to isolate herself from friends and spend long periods moping and thinking about how gloomy her future will be because she has decided never to marry or date again. Samantha’s parents were happily married for 50 years. They are both recently deceased and she continues to miss their support, affection, and guidance. Samantha has an older brother, whom she greatly admires and loves. He has been married for 20 years and has two daughters with whom Samantha has a close relationship. She views both her parents’ and brother’s marriages as perfect. Presenting Problem:
Samantha is experiencing depression because her fourth marriage is in dissolution and she feels flawed and like a failure, and doomed to lead a life of loneliness. A life-long marriage has always been a profound desire for Samantha. She was raised to believe that “people are meant to go through life two by two.” She believes that the thing she wanted most in life has eluded her. She and her current husband have been married for 7 years. The marriage has slowly eroded to the point where it is not remotely meeting her needs. Her husband has refused to enter into marital counseling and has stated that if Samantha wants a divorce she can proceed with neither his support nor interference. Samantha believes that her choices are limited and is greatly dismayed by the situation in which she finds herself. DSM-IV
The Coursework on Teenage Years Are Best Years in One’s Life
Time and tide waits for no man. Although this saying may seem incredibly cliched, this proves to be the most truthful statement of all. Man are often engaged in the never ending chase for time. Many have wasted their youth away during their teenage years and only to regret after it has been a forgone conclusion. i agree that the tennage years are the best years of one’s life. Tennagers are ...
Diagnosis:
AXIS I: V61.10 Partner Relational Problem
AXIS II: No Diagnosis
Samantha is experiencing problems with depression, an illusion of the perfect marriage, boundaries in marriage and loss of self and not enough time between third marriage and current marriage. The therapist will use cognitive behavioral therapy to correct Samantha’s negative and distorted thinking about her marriage and previous marriages in order to change her behavior. The therapist will also attempt to break down the cognitive triad she is experiencing. By stopping the negative thoughts and views and introducing rational explanations of reality, it will help Samantha get rid of the depression and negative emotions. She is suffering from the emotional distance that being on the wrong end of a one sided relationship creates.
The therapist will also use Rational-Emotive Therapy to help Samantha become more realistic about her views on her parents’ and brothers’ perfect marriage compared to her current marriage. Samantha’s past is the cause of her present problems and her beliefs about these problems is distorting her view of reality. The therapist wants to first work on Samantha’s view of reality, slowly introducing her to correct view of reality. The therapist wants to work with Samantha for twelve sessions and if at the last session there is no progress, the therapist will request that Samantha continue to come until there is some progress. The therapist will request later if the husband can join the sessions towards the end of treatment. In the first couple of sessions the therapist will get a signed consent and establish trust with Samantha. There will also be a case history done on Samantha. The therapist will go on to discuss in the following sessions about Samantha’s depression and what is making her depressed. The depression could be coming from her thoughts of her current marriage failing or that she does not have a “perfect marriage” like her brother or parents. The therapist will go on to discuss Samantha’s view of the perfect marriage. The therapist would want to know why Samantha views her parent’s and brother’s marriage as perfect.
The Research paper on Why I want to be a marriage therapist
Since my childhood, my penitence has been to single parents' children especially those who confess not to enjoy the warmth of a father, a mother or both. Pertinent questions that ring in my mind usually are: What is the cause and best remedy to this apparent lack of something? This is but a common phenomenon of which divorce and poor parenting (the latter being a subset of the former) is part. A ...
The therapist will also do a family history for Samantha and a marriage history for her parent’s and brother’s marriage to find out what it took to make their marriage happy and “perfect,” and try to help Samantha understand what it takes to make her marriage happy. In the next sessions the therapist will discuss with Samantha about the boundaries in her marriage and discuss how and when did Samantha lose herself throughout her marriages? The therapist does not know about the current marriage but will hope to find out more throughout the sessions. The therapist will find out if there were boundaries set in any of the marriages and if there were boundaries where did the marriage begin to break down. The therapist will also find out what the trust level is in the current marriage. Brimhall et al. (2008) stated that, “Although trust is a central component of marital relationships, it appears that establishing trust in the new relationship is especially important for remarried couples” (p. 385).
Samantha pretends to be who her husbands wanted her to be instead of being the person she really is; losing her life in their lives. The therapist will try to find out what is missing in the marriage and which party wants the divorce. The therapist will use Bowens theory on family systems and find out what the symptom is in the system and treat that symptom in order to treat the system. The therapist will also want to discuss time with Samantha. The therapist would want to know how much time Samantha waited in between the previous marriage and current marriage.
The Essay on Different Views in Courtship and Marriage
Outline: Thesis: Compared to my grandparents desired courtship and marriage, my preferred matrimony differs from their expectation in terms of the way to find a spouse, the form of holding a wedding, and the role to play in a family. Topic Sentences: In the first place, when it comes to the ideal way to find a spouse, there is nothing similarly between my grandparents and me. Furthermore, when it ...
The therapist would want to know if Samantha gave herself time to heal. Wolfinger (2007) found that, “Many individuals rush into another relationship after one ends and research was done to test the effect of rebound time. Remarrying quickly may represent an inadequate search process: overly eager divorcees may choose second husbands or wives who are no good bets for lasting unions.” (p.11).
Second marriages are divorce prone and whatever may have happened in the first marriage that caused it to break up, may possibly be the cause of the new marriage. For the treatment plan and what the therapist hopes to accomplish in each session would be as follows: Talk about family history (Give homework on family history-find out about parents and brother “Perfect” marriage) The therapist will point out what it takes to make a marriage happy and slowly help Samantha realize that there is no such thing as a “perfect marriage” Talk about depression, what is making her depressed (give homework on building self- esteem) Build Communication (Give homework on how to build communication in the house hold for both and her husband to work on (A 20 Questions worksheet on what made each other fall in love with the other and how do each make the other feel good when they do…, suggest going on date nights, vacations etc.) The therapist will also assign the book “The Love Dare” by Stephen & Alex Kendrick, to work on throughout the time while in session, at home with spouse.
The therapist will have Samantha keep a journal of her daily activities and feelings for that day. If she did her homework, she would write how it made her feel; as she follow along in the “Love Dare” at home, she will write if that day was a success and how it made her feel to accomplish the task. Talk about boundaries (Give homework on how to apply boundaries in the marriage, how to look for them and establish them) Talk about how she will take responsibility for her issues and how to work on the relationship/ How to establish the boundaries to make her marriage the “perfect marriage”. Help Samantha learn how to love instead of complying with what husband wants. Help her learn how to make the marriage strong and help her to understand how to make a marriage work. Letter Writing/Empty Chair Technique (for current & past relationships).
The Essay on Arranged Marriage Lindo Parents Husband
The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan is a story base on Chinese women in American tradition. One of the characters in the novel, Lindo Jong was born as a female in China. Lindo was undervalued because as a Chinese woman, she had an arranged marriage, she was treated unfairly by her husband, and also her own parents. Born as a female in China, many decisions are made by elders or men, not much opinion are ...
The therapist will have Samantha write a letter of her feelings and concerns to current husband, also taking ownership in the letter for her part of the marriage failing. She also will express to her husband what made her fall in love with him. The therapist will have Samantha do the empty chair technique with past relationships to release built up emotions.
Doing a personal history and find out where she lost herself/where she stopped caring about boundaries in her relationship. Help her take ownership of her life. Help her find out where she lost herself and help her reclaim what she lost/setting boundaries in the relationship. The therapist hopes to accomplish success in helping Samantha find herself and strengthening her failing marriage. The therapist would also hope to have Samantha’s current husband attend one or two sessions as progress allows. Progress in the session will be shown when Samantha starts to realize that there Is no such thing as a perfect marriage but knows how to build a strong marriage, when she learns what the boundaries in her marriage are, and when her husband and her accomplish coming to the session as a couple or Samantha gives report on success in her marriage regaining the happiness it once had.
In the end the therapist hopes that Samantha has found herself and that her marriage becomes more intimate. Samantha and her husband will learn how to be separate people who are free to love each other. The missing ingredient would be deep intimacy and boundaries and without clear boundaries they could not know each other or truly love each other. Later with progress, the therapist can find out about entering Samantha and her husband into the PREP program. Leber et al., (1995) found that, “The PREP program, discussed in the article, is designed to teach partner skills and ground rules for handling conflict and promoting intimacy in six 2 hour sessions. The program employs techniques and strategies consistent with behavioral marital therapy and marital communication training programs” (p.393).
References
Brimhall, A., Kimball, T., Wampler, K. (2008).
Learning from the past, altering the future: A tentative theory of the effect of past relationships on couples who remarry. Family Process,47, 373-387 Leber, B., Markman, H., Stanley, S., St. Peters, M. (1995).
The Essay on My Ex Husband
In the poem “My Ex-Husband” by Gabriel Spera the main character displays hate for her husband, which in time reveals her love for him. The hateful tone in the poem contributes to the fact that she dislikes her husband, but at the same time she is stuck in the past, which keeps her from moving on. The first two lines of the poem introduce us to the a picture of her ex husband: “Thats my ex-husband ...
Strengthening marriages and preventing divorce: New directions in prevention research. Family Relations, 44, 392-401.
Wolfinger, N. (2007).
Does the Rebound Effect Exist? Time to Remarriage and
Subsequent Union Stability. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 46, 9-20.
