When a couple agrees to counseling to help their marriage, one of the first things sought after would be to resolve differences that are weighing heavy on the marriage. In this case, Steve and Cindy have started on a journey through taking the PREPARE/ENRICH program. The tests and answers are detailed to the couples characteristics and personalities and cover the couples strengths and weaknesses. This case study analysis will separate the case into three main topics of discussion. Their strengths and weaknesses will be highlighted first then potential conflicts or problems will be discussed and finally a development plan for support and counseling will be discussed.
Hawkins states in the text, that balance or, “oneness with healthy separateness”, is important to the intimacy in a relationship (Hawkins, 1991).This couple show many diverse strengths and weaknesses from the report. They both recognize the presence of a problem in their relationship but when it comes to addressing the problem it seems the Steve minimizes the level of problems within the marriage. Cindy on the other hand is more in touch with the reality that these problems sever. The report shows later on the both Cindy and Steve start to minimize the problems and the impact on the marriage. The book, Strengthening marital intimacy tells us that strength in a relationship usually comes from a balance in three categories, which are physical, spiritual and emotional (Hawkins, 1991).
Steve and Cindy’s map reveals a weakness in some of these areas. They are generally disconnected and do not enjoy one another’s company and lack physical contact in the relationship.
The Essay on Sexual Relations Couple Relationship Marriage
Look Before You Leap A Close Look Before the Marital Relationship Marriage is a life-long commitment. Couples must prepare for marriage in a way that will set a foundation for the rest of their lives. This preparation includes a serious examination by both partners of the positives and negatives of their relationship. Both partners need to be fully aware of what they are getting into. Most ...
Steve and Cindy are from generally similar backgrounds. They are in the same age group and are from the same race. They both came from a non-abusive family and they both where the oldest child in the family. They both are from a protestant background and share similar religious beliefs. There are differences in the relationship that have the potential to contribute to a problem. There is a difference in their education level, where Steve is the main financial contributor the marriage. There were two failed marriages that Cindy brings to the table that may cause conflict. There was a result where they both rated as generally satisfied overall; however later results show that this may not be true. The relationship dynamics category shows that they both feel the other partner does not understand. They both seem lack to the ability to be assertive and feel that the other is trying to dominate and avoid problems.
An overview of Cindy’s answers reveals that she may have self-esteem issues and identity struggles that may be derived from her feelings about the difference in education she has with Steve. She may also struggle with her two failed marriages and her lack of financial contribution to the marriage. Her feelings of inadequacy and image would contribute to the lack of assertiveness in the marriage. The feeling of being controlled would be associated with her low self-esteem and could be the reason for view that her husband has no interest in her sexually. Low self-esteem is identified as a major barrier in putting intimacy in a relationship (Hawkins, 1991).
Steve was shown on the report to be more confident in his abilities. This could explain later answers that seem to dismiss some of the reported problems of his wife. Steve also works outside the home, which could explain his tendency to dismiss or lessen the level of problems that Cindy sees in the relationship. He is a minister or religious leader and may be trying to live up to a higher standard that could cause him to minimize their problems.
The report reveals several areas where there is potential for growth in the relationship. Areas such as communication, conflict resolution, and sexuality and leisure activities are the main areas. The categories that could use the most growth would be communication and conflict resolution. The potential for growth in these categories could point out the underlying cause for many of the other problems that are present.
The Term Paper on Conflict Resolution 4
Merriam-Webster (n.d) defines conflict as, “the opposition of persons or forces that gives rise to the dramatic action in a drama or fiction”. Interpersonal conflicts, whether they are between family members, students and teachers, employees and supervisors, or groups, have certain elements in common. Coser (1967) asserts that conflict is “a struggle over values and claims to scarce status, ...
The category of communication was answered by Steve and Cindy much differently. Their answers did not compliment rather they contradicted each other. The couple agreed that they both were good listeners and they trusted each other but could not always talk to each other because of negative feelings. They also express concern in the inability to express their needs to each other. True feelings are difficult to be expressed because of the lack of understanding. Neither one is satisfied with how they communicate with each other. One barrier to help them overcome and move forward would be to make a decision on how they are satisfied or not and recognize the barriers that are keeping them from communicating.
There is some skewed information in the category of conflict resolution. Their answers and the information seem to show the couple in in a cycle that goes on being unresolved. The answers Steve gives shows that he may not value the magnitude of the problems and even set aside some of Cindy’s problems because he feels they do well in conflict management. Cindy’s feelings indicate that she may just give in and allow Steve to think that there is conflict resolution to avoid an argument. According to the report, Cindy relates that she can share her feelings with Steve and she feels the he understands, but Steve on the other hand reports a disconnect when there is a conflict and a lack of validation of Cindy’ feelings. In conflict resolution, Steve may make a decision in a conflict and Cindy just goes along to avoid longer problems.
The report shows that the couple has several strengths to build a foundation on. Their religious beliefs, their commitment to each other, and the importance they place on family, the relationship they have with family and friends and the couple’s agreement to their roles and responsibilities show that there is a firm foundation that the marriage is built on.
The Essay on Types Of Relationships
A mother and daughter are fighting and they both refuse to talk to each other while brother runs way because he has let his father down or, a boss hitting on his or her employees. These are the different types of relationships every human bean can connect to one of these scenarios. As people meet new people he or she grows by different relationships like parents and children, friendship, teacher ...
The couple’s agreement on their religious beliefs is one building point in their marriage. They feel that going to church can strengthen the marriage and they both rely on faith in God when they are faced with tough times and they both agree to give to the church. Religious beliefs and the couple’s relationship with God is one area that seems to connect the couple deeply during troubled times.
The couple shares a desire and commitment to the relationship and with all the growth potential and weakness the couple is experiencing they both are committed to each other. They both report that they are willing to do whatever it takes to make the marriage work. They both are consistent with their desire to do better in managing their time with each other. They both indicated the need to find common activities that interest both. The strength in commitment is reinforced by the report of no abuse in the relationship and their agreement on the level of trust and responsibility they feel for their roles in the relationship. The couples flexibility and the ability no to argue over unimportant issues were identified in the report as strengths.
The next category that can be identified as strength for the couple is friends and family. This was a positive and high scoring point in the report for the couple. An example would be Cindy’s concern about being judged by her family. Cindy was also concerned about the appearance when Steve interacts with the opposite sex. This may be concern about how is appears to the family or could be about her feeling disconnected. All the answers in this part reflect that both Cindy and Steve enjoy spending time with their families and friends and look forward to making more friends with other couples.
Their agreement on the roles and responsibilities they each have is confirmed in the report. Their answers also show that both can be flexible and work well in a team. The couples both recognize that they struggle in a few are such as household work and making certain family decisions. As they move forward, this realization may aid in the conflict resolution skills and allow them to feel more equal in the relationship.
This next part will open up and explore the five parts to the personality assessment in the report. SCOPE in the acronym that describes the dimensions explored. They are social, change, organized, pleasing, and emotional steady. This assessment rates a person in these five categories. This assessment is an important part of the report that can give the facilitator and the couple a unique view of existing problems as well as potential reasons for barriers in the relationship. A more complete understanding of personalities can help in many situations to aid in forgiveness and take away vengefulness.
The Term Paper on Relationship Theory Used In Couples Counselling
Introduction In this paper I will look at what is means to be a couples’ counsellor. What theories apply to this mode of counselling and how can these can be utilised during the sessions. I will also consider some of the aspects that need to be considered with couples counselling including tools and key focus areas to support the effective sessions. Equality, Perception and Exchange of Goods ‘The ...
The Social category was scored low by Cindy and Steve. This is an indication that they both are introverts and are more comfortable being alone and may be uncomfortable around large groups of people. The apparent struggle the couple may have with leisure activities could stem from this as well as their struggle to find other couples to interact with. The report points out that people with a low score in the social category can seem disconnected and cut-off. This could explain their feelings of disconnect with each other. As the couple understands this trait within themselves they can use it to become more intimate with each other. As they understand more they will see the need for time alone and understand those feelings of being neglected.
The Change category was score differently by Cindy and Steve. Cindy scored as average and Steve scored low in this category. Steve seems to be set in his ways and Cindy may not always look for change but could be open to new change when it presents itself. This is a difference in their personalities and could be the barrier they face in the sexual relationship and when it comes to making new friends.
Cindy scored average in this category, which is not much different from Steve but over the years may have developed more stress over Steve not changing or making much improvement over the years. Steve’s scoring low here shows a resistance to change. The resistance over the years would cause stress to build with Cindy. Steve may have been seen as dependable and reliable in the first part of the relationship which may have attracted Cindy to the relationship. Steve shows that he wants to minimize the problem in order to have the relationship stay the same and Cindy sees those problems differently and wants a change in the marriage.
The Research paper on Theories of counseling and psychotherapy
1.1 Defining the Core Constructs of Adlerian Therapy. When Gina says she is determined, Dr. Carlson asks her where her determination is directed. What is his intent? Gina responds with happiness. Her own and her two boys. His intent is to get her to focus on the good and the progress made. He trying to scaffold the sessions questioning to determine more information and to promote client self ...
The category of Organized was scored low by both Cindy and Steve. A low score here could explain some answers in the roles and responsibilities. The struggle they have with certain house jobs is a reflection of a low score and relates to their flexibility. The report shows a high score throughout in flexibility but also shows a difficult time in making decisions. This low score could be the couple’s lack of commitment to deadlines or to follow plans.
The category of Pleasing was scored as average by both. The couple’s inability to actively communicate and show conflict resolution is reflected in this score as well as their ability to be intimate. There was a pattern in their answers that show that they both would go along with the other instead of going after their own ideas in order to please the other. The report reflected they both lack communication skills and Steve was not open to change in some areas. Steve reflected that Cindy may become frustrated after trying to push her feelings aside and may then say something hurtful. The couple would need to works on assertiveness and work on expressing their thoughts lovingly The category Emotional steady also was scored as average with the couple. This is reflective of an easy going nature and a strong indicator of how this marriage has lasted. This nature may help to deal with stress and can be an important trait.
This may be desired by Cindy because of her earlier answers that indicate that she is struggling with high levels of stress to the point of it affecting her health. This feeling could be a culmination over a long period of time and a lack of assertiveness and Steve reluctance to acknowledge their problems and his resistance to change and because of an emotionally steady trait that he has. This next section is a plan for therapy and support. There are times in counseling where a professional may need to direct or advise a couple. When Christ is the center of counseling, the spirit will direct the counselor. Most couples have the potential to overcome conflicts and difficult situations but may not be able to recognize their abilities. This plan should include four or five meetings of counseling to include a short term solution base. This would be a Christ centered ministry approach to therapy( Entwistle, 2010).
The Research paper on Solution-Focused Therapy
Solution–focused therapy (SFT), unlike other forms of therapy argues that a person doesn’t have to understand any problem in order to resolve the problem and that the solution isn’t necessarily related to the problem. The purpose of this paper is to give a brief overview, description and rationale of Solution-focused therapy as well as an explanation of the therapeutic processes involved in SFT. ...
The feelings and emotions of the couple should be a priority in counseling and direction may allow them to stay on track and to work together. The direction the couple is heading can be directed without using control. I believe it is important to let the couple work through their issues themselves as much as possible during the session as well as afterwards. A professional will be able to open the door to the communication process. When it comes to progress in counseling, timing is very important. Giving directions takes care and understanding and over controlling. The therapist needs to give wisdom at a pivotal moment in counseling that will point the marriage in the right direction. A Christ centered approach in counseling will allow God to lead through the facilitator and keep the couple on the right path. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths (Proverbs 3:7).
The couple should enroll in a Church lead couple’s therapy program that will allow them meet other couples in need and the sharing cessions will build bonds and allow them to open up.
In conclusion to this evaluation of Steve and Cindy’s report we have identified several key issues and areas that need growth. The tests and answers were detailed to the couples characteristics and personalities and cover the couples strengths and weaknesses. This analysis attempted to separate the case into three main topics of discussion. Their strengths and weaknesses will be highlighted first then potential conflicts or problems will be discussed and finally a development plan for support and counseling was discussed. The report showed that the couple has several strengths to build a foundation on. Their religious beliefs, their commitment to each other, and the importance they place on family, the relationship they have with family and friends and the couple’s agreement to their roles and responsibilities show that there is a firm foundation that the marriage is built on. The therapy was a Christ centered therapy and focused on short term conflict resolution.
References
Entwistle, D. N. (2010).
Integrative Approaches to Psychology and
Christianity. Eugene, Oregon: Cascade Books. Olson, D. (2009).
PREPARE/ENRICH certification training kit. Minneapolis, MN: Life Innovations Inc.
Hawkins, R. E. (1991).
Strengthening marital intimacy. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House.
Petersen, J. C. (2007).
Why don’t we listen better? Communicating and connecting in relationships. Lincoln City, Oregon: Petersen Publications.
Worthington, E. L., Jr. (1989).
Marriage counseling: A Christian approach to counseling couples. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
