In relation to individuals struggling with fear and sadness there are several surrounding factors that may play a role on the individual’s experience. This assignment will present a case study of a client ‘Sally’ seeking counselling due to issues related to fear and sadness. A description of Sally and her background along with details of the concern which is causing her situation relating to fear and sadness will be presented. Systemic and sociocultural issues such as gender, culture and sexuality are of importance and have an impact on the client’s experience.
In addition, factors such as family and personal relationships of the client will be explored. To conclude the assignment I will summarise my chosen approach of counselling that I feel is necessary to Sally and which would suit her better, whether it be one to one counselling or family therapy. Furthermore explaining and justifying why and how the chosen approach will work well with her. Sally is a 31-year-old white single mother who was brought up in a small village in a rural area with both parents and her younger sister who now has a husband and children of her own.
Sally lives alone with her children in the same village, close to her parents and sister who she regularly visits. Whilst Sally has a close relationship with her family, she feels that her family do not understand her distress leaving her feeling very lonely and isolated and longing for a family unit with her own children and a husband. Sally was in a stable 8 year relationship with the father of her children, when he suddenly left the family home after a minor argument and decided not to return, leaving her alone with a 12-month-old baby and a 5-year-old.
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Eventually the children’s’ father got in contact, stating that he could not handle the pressures of family life. Two years on and after many months of Sally pretending to be okay, she sought help at a local counselling service. Sally hopes to gain happiness and confidence to meet somebody else to enjoy her life with and be like the other ‘normal’ families in the close-knit, white British community she lives in. During Sally’s first counselling session, she explains that she feels lonely, isolated and scared that she will never meet anybody else due to her being a single mother.
Sally proceeds stating that all she ever wanted in life was a ‘normal’ family unit consisting of both parents and a couple of children, similar to the one she grew up in and that her sister has. Despite the fact that Sally feels that she has done an excellent job raising her children, she is embarrassed that she is a single mother in her 30’s, feels unfeminine and unattractive due to gaining weight through comfort eating and does not trust males, thinking they are all going to leave her and not find her sexually attractive.
Sally wishes she could have a ‘normal’ life. Vossler, A. (2010) pg199 quotes ‘what is considered as ‘normal’ or family life is dependent on prevailing cultural values and societal understandings. ’ Therefore systemic therapy or counselling will allow Sally to have a different perspective on her situation; a systemic idea which exhibits there is not just one ‘truth’ or a ‘right’ way to view situations, Vossler, A (2010).
Whilst Sally’s problems may be located back to her own family system relationship, sociocultural issues may also be a factor.
For example, Sally growing up with her sibling and biological parents, is considered and is seen as ‘normal’ by Sally and her family in the rural community she lives in, therefore leaving her feeling embarrassed and excluded in a cultural, race and gender context, due to the majority of the other white females of Sally’s age in the community being married with children. As cited from Barker, M. (2010) states that those who try to fit into the stereotypes of their gender most closely often have the most problems.
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Therefore in Sally’s case, she desires to play the typical feminine role of mother and wife similarly to her own mother displayed as Sally was growing up, now experiencing fear and sadness as she has not fulfilled the gender and cultural role of nurturing that she perceives as normal in society and that she feels her family expect of her. A counsellor may wish to reflect upon this issue as one to one therapy first of all, proceeding as a systemic family therapy with Sally’s close family in a circular interaction as seen in video Excerpt 13.
This appears to allow the counsellor to gain a broader understanding of the family background and notions. Also cited from Barker, M. (2010) it is stated that those existing outside the cultural norm are often stigmatised by society, perhaps socially unaccepted, often resulting in emotional difficulties such as the onset of fear and sadness, which in Sally’s case could be indeed relevant as she perceives herself as not fitting in with her community possibly fearing that she has socially excluded herself from her own family structure.
On the other hand, a sociocultural issue such as age could be causing an impact on Sally’s problems; Sally could be feeling too old to meet what is expected of her as a white mother in her 30’s. Sally’s age along with her view on her sister’s life, with that being a systemic issue could be causing problems for Sally around family pride. Sally is living unhappy as a single mother, whereas her younger sister is happily married with children.
Within a social context, sexuality may be an issue for Sally, as she feels unattractive and has no trust in men, this could leave her questioning her own sexuality and whether or not she actually wants a sexual and emotional relationship with a male or whether she would be a happier meeting a female to build and share a family unit with. Therapy with a heterosexual therapist could be a problem in this aspect, as cited by Evans and Barker (2007) in Barker, M (2010); they found that heterosexual therapists expressed concern about lesbian, gay or bisexual clients becoming parents.
As taken from Barker, M (2010), referring to a systemic approach from a constructivist position, each person has their own individual view of the world. This implies that there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to perceive negative experiences, but a variety of possible views and stories that are all subjectively ‘true’ and in line with the individual context. In Sally’s case, this is her family background and own assumptions of what is expected of her within the rural community and general family norms.
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In addition, a therapist from a different background or culture such as a multi-cultural urban area where there may be many single white mother’s, may perceive Sally’s issue as ‘normal’ life, causing him or her to be unable to display an empathetic understanding to Sally, which brings me to discuss the most appropriate therapy method of working with Sally and her problems. If I was a counsellor working with Sally I would aim to establish a collaborative relationship to facilitate helpful therapeutic conversations.
This is referred to as a basic tenet of working systemically cited from Vossler, A (2010).
I would also aspire for a one-to-one counselling relationship rather than family therapy, utilising a person-centred approach therapy, looking closely at the systemic issue that being the community Sally grew up in along with the way she coped and dealt with her relationship breakdown.
Welcoming open-mindedness and empathetic listening and questioning techniques to assist in building rapport with Sally I would firstly explore how and why Sally began to experience symptoms of fear and sadness, eventually leading to Sally potentially seeing her situation from another perspective. It is not about ‘getting it right’ in this process, and a systemic counsellor and psychotherapist will not try to impose normative ideas or specified solutions, as cited by Vossler, A (2010)pg.
205. As seen in Excerpt 15 (video) (D240), family therapy appeared to be effective whilst working with Sharmila’s issues as it allowed the therapist to gain a wider context of problems she had to work with, however in Sally’s case I wouldn’t feel family therapy would be necessary for Sally’s sadness, due to gender and community expectations being issues that are of more importance and relevance in Sally’s case rather than what Sally’s family’s thoughts are.
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During Excerpt 15(video) (D240), the second therapist that spoke with Sharmila approached the counselling session in a person-centred way which proved to be effective, as Sharmila began to open up when she realised she could trust the therapist, whereas the male therapist appeared quite pushy and interrogating, although the male therapist was unaware that Sharmila’s issues stemmed around males, this may have also been a reason for Sharmila not engaging with him as she may have had lack of trust in males.
I can relate this issue to Sally as she has mistrust in males due to her relationship breakdown, she may not feel comfortable communicating problems with the opposite sex. In order to attend to systemic and sociocultural issues, particularly community/culture, gender and age I would ask Sally questions such as ‘what do other females of your age with children living in your area think about you situation?
’ or ‘do you experience negative comments about having no father to help raise your children? ’. Without appearing critical, I would ask these questions to try to develop Sally’s thinking on a much larger scale rather than the fixed identity she feels she has and the stereotypical perception that is expected of her in the small village. Barker, M (2010) pg. 232 cites ‘some people experience their identities as very fixed, others as fluid and changeable.
Difficulties can occur when holding rigidly to an identity and when expressing it flexibly in a world which sees it as fixed’. Consequently, in Sally’s case she could feel her identity should be similar to those around her and not what it is, being labelled as a ‘single mother’ causing her symptoms of fear and sadness. Hence the questions within a systemic approach that I ask may help Sally adopt a different perception on white females of her age.
Another basic tenet of working systemically as cited from Vossler, A (2010) is for me to emphasise on the importance of language in generating meaning, for example the label ‘single mother’ and the way one interprets this term may influence the way in which problems are experienced in families and other systems, such as Sally’s cultural and community ‘norms’, therefore it is of importance that as a counsellor I respect this value, moreover become familiar with the notions of social constructionism.
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Reflecting upon my chosen counselling client, I conclude that one-to-one therapy is the most appropriate in her case. This decision was attained from previous material studied throughout the module which I feel has led me to have a reasonable understanding of various counselling approaches in order for me to adopt an effective counselling approach to clients with differing sociocultural and systemic issues.
In regards to working with Sally, taking into account her family and social context, I did not feel it was necessary to involve others throughout the therapy process, the reason being is that I feel Sally had more than enough issues to deal with such as community and culture, expectations, gender, self-identity therefore if Sally was to participate in family therapy this may result in fear and sadness being prolonged due to hearing how her family feel about her problems.
This would also defeat my whole purpose of establishing a close therapeutic relationship with Sally as the focus would be on the family rather than Sally as an individual. (2003 words)
