First I should assure you that sadness, anger, rage, resentment, hate! The whole range of emotions you feel about your parents! | problems and their effect on your lives is normal and makes sense. However, after a while, and I hope that you will keep that time brief, I suggest you to pause and start putting your live in order again. Negative feelings give one short-lived satisfaction. They relieve tension. In the long run, however, they are counterproductive. When you face parental problems basically there should be two objectives: one, to make life smoother for yourself, and two, to be helpful to your parents.
Wasting valuable time being angry, hurt, resentful, bitter or consumed with hate prevents your accomplishing those goals, for example, your schoolwork. Before you take any concrete actions, you should make clear your standpoint: first, be neutral. Do not be partial to any one of your parents. Second, the divorce is neither your fault nor your responsibility. You need not to blame yourself, feel self-pity or ashamed.
And the last thing is they are both your parents forever. This fact will never be changed even they are divorced. After all, then I! |ll simply suggest that you show them some tolerance and understanding, which I appreciate you have done most of it. However, as a 14-year-old child of your parents, you can give encouragement to your parents but you no need to be the rescuer.
... sixteen years working with parents of struggling teens. I present this with ... opportunity for parents to make their own mistakes. Listed below are ten of the most common mistakes I have seen parents make during my ... for your child than others.In any case, parents should not make an enrollment decision without thoroughly checking out at least ...
You should leave their problems to them. Or you can find social worker for further help, for both emotional and applying financial assistance. The very last thing you should do is that you can frankly tell your feelings and thoughts to your parents. Let! |s understand the issue gradually. The confusing situation will only makes you even more worried and anxious. And one-thing matters you much is you do not know how to live up to your mum! |s expectations.
Let me tell you, first, it is a fact that parents are human. They can make mistakes. They can overdo this special line and easily lose sight of reality. Moreover, affected by the family problem, your parent may try to get you kid to achieve what she didn! |t accomplish in life, or hoped your success will compensate for.
What you must do is try to be consistently straight with your parent. You should be totally frank and aboveboard with your mum about what is happening in school. And, when you stop hiding, you! |re going to feel great because you won! |t have all those guilty feelings about yourself and your performance. Feeling guilty is a sure way to make you feel tense and no doubt you! |ll gradually lose you confident. I believe you! |re feeling a lot of tension, which isn! |t going to do you much good when test-taking time comes around.
Though I! |ve stressed empathy, compassion and compromise, I do concern the risk of your being scarred by parental problems. I feel very strongly about your right to have a personal life outside of the home. This means that it! |s not a time to shut yourself away from your friends. This means, that while you are showing sensitivity and compassion toward your parents, you must also do things that are self-replenishing in order to keep a balance in your life.
Strong does of good times with friends, activities in school! These are important. There is absolutely no need to feel guilty. Life has many different compartments, and because one aspect of your life in on a downside, it doesn! |t mean that everything else has to be turned around. However, then you told me that you have problem in finding friendship. Well may be let! |s focus on what you can do to promote, and what you may be doing to prevent, friendships. Will it because of your passiveness? Are you sending out signals: not answering, looking away, avoiding others to get close to you? Depression makes you to put up walls and blocks, shutting yourself off from outside contacts.
... an individual presence and personal connection to God through faith, how could anyone expect to be capable ... is another quote from Himes:" A great problem of religious language and imagery is that we ... Non-physical suffering is rooted in those cognitive "things" we elect to hang onto; either consciously or ... represents how we should strive to live our lives. (CITE) Dostoevski will later evolve the ...
And, because you do this, you feel very much alone and deserted by everyone. If that! |s the case, I suggest you have to realize that friends don! |t come to you automatically. There has to be a basic for the friendship. You have to be willing to share, and you have to see that friends have to have something in common, or there! |s no point to the friendship. I! yen very sure that there is someone around your school who share your interests, not exactly the same but at least similar.
Sharing interest will provide you with the opportunity to talk to someone. True friendship is built on communication. Facing all these unbearable difficulties in life, you began to doubt the existence of God, to doubt your faith in God. In your case, in spite of all your well-intentioned prayers, your parents divorced. It is very natural that you felt God let you down. You thought prayers, especially a prayer like yours, should have God! |s ear.
And since things didn! |t turn out that way, you became angry, and your faith no longer seemed important to you. God didn! |t listen to you so why should you listen to God? By now I can suggest you lose faith because you bargained with God and God didn! |t come across with a payoff. Faith is a gift of God, not the other way around. Your faith was based on a payoff system. But that! |s understandable. It! |s very human to pray for favors.
It takes a lot weight off our shoulders. And in facing problems, we all need something to believe in so that we have something to make sense of the world when things go wrong in our personal lives. And the way to restore your faith is to let yourself be open to believing without bargaining. God is not a business contractor. Do not try too hard to achieve faith or try to figure out reasons for believing. It! |s often when we desperately try for something we want, it doesn! |t happen.
... cheating your fellow man. This is faith in yourself this life. God gave us life it is our choice wether we use ... is nothing but our fear of death. Life is death but faith is our soul, for once look to ... us to but our souls can that is faith. This faith belongs to no clan of self righteous human ... faith in our fellowman. What scares me so bad is the fact that many people hide in this world of god. God ...
Stepping aside and having a laid back attitude helps us to get some perspective. Then we! |ll see everything in a different light. Back off a bit and don! |t think of your indifference as a loss. In order to solve the problem, drug taking and committing suicide are absolutely not the way out.
Both will destroy your life and of course, will not help the problem but worsen it. So do not try to do them. I understand that there are times in everyone! |s life when the world seems too much to take. And you are just going through these stages at a time in your lives when you! |d much prefer to be having fun, hanging out with your friends, enjoying the freedom of being teenagers without adult responsibilities weighing you down. However, while this stage is painful, unbearable, you will be forced to grow up faster than friends of yours whose parents are not facing similar problems.
This push into maturity is not all bad. You are being given an unusual opportunity to acquire the special strengths of compassion and sensitivity, a chance to learn how to salvage good from the bad happenings in your lives.