There are listening skills, counselling skills and counselling itself. The basis is good listening skills, that is to suspend your own thoughts and feelings that may arise, acknowledge you are listening by nodding etc, making your responses specific o the subject, avoiding diagnosing, reflecting back what was said and summarizing. Added to the listening skills are active listening, which is ’’ hearing without judging and not suggesting quick answers’’, reflecting what was said and the meaning, paraphrasing feelings to show understanding, summarizing content and affect and asking open and closed questions as appropriate. Counselling is the intentional use of a relationship to help and support a concerned person to decide their own solutions to problems, ensures they feel accepted and able to talk freely and helps them to understand thoughts and feelings and work through issues before taking action. Then, when the user of the listening and counselling skills and the recipient (client) explicitly agree to enter into a counselling relationship does it become ‘’counselling’’ rather than the use of counselling skills.
BACP indentify ‘’ethical’’ qualities with which or under which a counsellor should abide and work with. These are as follows: Empathy: the fundamental quality according to Carl Rogers. The ability to communicate understanding of another’s experience from that persons perspective. Sincerity: a personal commitment to consistency between what is professed and what is done. Integrity: commitment to being moral in dealings with others, personal straightforwardness, honesty and coherence. Resilience: the capacity to work with the clients concerns without being personally diminished. Respect: showing appropriate esteem to others and their understanding of themselves. Humility: the ability to assess accurately and acknowledge one’s own strengths’ and weaknesses. Competence: the effective deployment of the skills and knowledge needed to do what is required. Fairness: the consistent application of appropriate criteria to inform decisions and actions. Wisdom: possession of sound judgement that informs practice. Courage: the capacity to act in spite of known fears, risks and uncertainty.
... 2007 ) Counselling skills for dummies. West Sussex. John Wiley and Sons LTD Milne, A. ( 1999 ) Understanding counselling. Oxon. Bookspoint LTD ... managing silence. Empathic listening. Paraphrasing and summarising. Focusing and challenging. Reflecting on the counselling skills process and immediacy. ... to the client’s needs and feelings. Summarising themes and any work to be done outside the ...
My feelings about it
I was unable to attend the session with the rest of the class but I did have the notes. I have found them very useful and informative.
My overall reflections on the session and its meaning for me For me the handouts, reading, typing and reflection have lead to a greater understanding of how to listen and how to respond to somebody so they feel comfortable and secure that they are being listened too and what they say and feel has value. I have also asked checked with myself if I have the ethical qualities which a counsellor needs to abide by and work with, some are more developed than others and that is something I am aware of and working on.