You ungrateful little brat, after all the money I spent on you. You quit? ” Those were the exact words my mother uttered to me when she found out I quitted on Kandyan dancing. You see, I was always a disappointment in her eyes. No matter what I did, I was never good enough. Then there comes a time in your life when you just don’t give a damn to what she tells you. When did this begin? It all started with the swimsuit. Step one – Wear a one-piece swimsuit in public. I was 17 years old. It was Max’s 18th. It was a pool party with chaperones, one person in particular happened to be my cousin. It was a cool party.
The weather was nice, sunny but a breeze wind now and then. Things were good until my attempts to leave the changing rooms. I was halted by one of the ladies that worked there. Apparently, the swimming pool had a specific set of rules for what you had to wear in the pool. I had not known that. At the time, I was wearing a pair of blue shorts and a baggy grey t-shirt. I was not allowed to swim, in these clothes and since I didn’t owe a swimsuit – she decided to lend me a one-piece swimsuit. I was exposed. I was self-conscious of my body. Never in my life have I worn fitted clothes and to top it off, I had a chubby body.
I wasn’t obese but I had my fair share of flabbier. This made me feel out of place, I was insecure of my body more than usual because all my friends looked good! Besides I was a tomboy. This made my cousin my cousin laugh so much, she could barely stand up. Yup, thanks for the self-esteem boost. You can just imagine, what happens next. It was so funny that she had gone and told my mum. Who angrily said “villi lagga nathi adumak? ” (Are you not shamed in showing off your body like that? ) I was grounded for a month. I was isolated from my friends, the TV in my room was removed and lastly the play station was taken to my brother’s room.
It's not what you say, it's how you say. Parents have a lot on their mind, and sometimes, it's tough to slow down and focus on how they're communicating. The style you use when speaking is as important as the words you choose. If you speak hurriedly, your listener will most likely come away with an impression that you were preoccupied or in a hurry, regardless of what you said. Most people are ...
A space, I wasn’t allowed in. Step two – Get a B+ for your exam. I was fifteen, when my brother finished his VCE. Amongst his many peers, he was the brightest child. Everyone who came cross my brother had the utmost respect for him. He had picked the hardest subjects – English, Specialist Maths, Chemistry, Maths Methods, Physics and Information Technology. Not only did he pass all his subjects with flying colours, he obtained the highest ATAR score in the school (98. 75).
So, here I am taking my turn in VCE. I am the second child of this family and nothing in comparison to my brother.
Nevertheless, I try my hardest to be like him. However as the disappointing child that I am, I only got B+ on my biology exam. I am not exaggerating when I say my mum cried and told my father how much of a disappointment I am to her. From that day on, I haven’t really bothered on telling her my SACS scores. Of course, she has asked for my grades several times but I would only make up excuses as to why I didn’t have them. I would hide my reports cards from her and even tell her that it got lost in the mail, as it would only upset her more, if she knew that my grades were anything but A+.
Step three – Become a Dropout It is expected by every traditional Sri Lankan parent that, from an early age you will take up Baratha (Kandyan dancing).
I never really liked it. To be honest, it felt like it was an imitation of tap dancing in slow motion with your arms midway in the air. Even more, I hated my classmates. I never really got along with people with the same nationality as me. I always wondered why I had so many friends from other nationalities and none from my own. I am still curious as to why, till this day. Of course, all this did not matter to my mum.
She was proud that her daughter was doing Baratha. I still find it hard to believe, me, the disappointing child made her proud. I did not have the heart to tell her how I really felt. However her pride in me only lasted for long. It was my first performance in front of a group of people. Let’s just say it did not go well. I was uncoordinated and mostly like ruined the whole performance, expected from a disappointing child like me. Although, I humiliated her with my lack of dancing skills, she would not let me drop out. She would make me try harder every year until my performance improved.
Nowadays, there are so many children television shows introduced to the children. Which are being interactive in a way and the children are enjoying and learning (without them knowing it). One of these shows is the “Dora the Explorer” of NickJr. , which is very popular nowadays. As it was described the show was created “…starring a 7-year-old Latina girl and her friends. The show is designed to ...
Of course that never happened and she used this as a tool to gain sympathy from her friends and family. She complains to my aunt wondering what she had done in previous life to deserve a child like me. She would also tell others told how much of a disappointment I am to her because I couldn’t do the utmost simplest things. So back to square one, there I am hearing what an ungrateful brat I was. Step four – Get into Tafe Out of everything one can do to disappoint a parent, it is to get into Tafe instead of university. Tafe is by far the worst life decision that anyone an make in my mother’s eyes. It was right under ‘never do drugs’ in her list. It had not mattered to her, that I was at least trying to get somewhere in life. All that mattered to her was getting goods and being able to brag about how proud she was. I was never once bragged about because simply there was one part of me that she proud of. I still remember when I came home after the first day of Tafe. I knew, she knew that I was here instead she had chosen to ignore my presence. After all she did have guests to entertain, on my way to the stairs. I heard whispers between the mothers.
The bragging began, my aunt was talking about her daughter her to daughter how was leaving to attend Harvard university to become a doctor. How my best friend is going to Monash to be pharmacist. Then the million dollar question, “Which university is your daughter attending? ” she was so embarrassed that she could even look them in the eye. She nervously laughed and said “She hasn’t decided yet, she got accepted by all. Everyone wants her. I can’t blame if she having trouble choosing. ” She shamefully lied to everyone. I was that much of a disappointment that she had to be in denial of what was really happening.