Certain events in my 3 decades and a year of living have caused me to look back into the waves of life for subtle reflection…and in looking back, I would tend to agree with the statement that I’ve swam through more than the norm of “storms” in my life.
Yes, I’ve seen storms…violent ones at that. I’m talking Mark Walhberg drifting alone in the “Perfect Storm” type of storms. Storms that would rip the psyche out of your mental process and leave you contemplating how “pretty” a 200-foot wave appeared as Neptune’s wrath unleashed itself and crashed onto your insignificant soon to be corpse.
I suppose I’m either undrownable or one hell of a good swimmer because for whatever reason, I manage to be pulled down to the dark depths of these turbulent and polluted oceans, touch ground, only to push myself up again, a seashell in hand, waiting silently for the next storm.
A seashell in hand you ask? This seashell of salvation as I call it, serves as a reminder of the cladding knowledge I gained in my struggle to survive the battle with Mother Nature’s handy man Neptune.
Let me explain…we humans wear our bony skeletons on the inside while showing our vulnerable sides to the outside world. Shells on the other hand are made by mollusks to protect their insides from the harsh elements as well as predatory enemies. The only drawback…a shell while serving as armor, is a permanent structure that mollusks must bear for their remaining lives, it weight slowing it down.
To conquer ones fears, one must see past them. To fear is natural; to see past them is heroic. Fear is normal additive to life; symbolizing that there are new, sometimes extraordinary things to come, to face. To be able to see these things before they happen is a sign of wisdom. To see past them is a sign of leadership and boldness. Fear is nothing out of the ordinary.To recognize that one fears ...
Essentially, each titanic battle I live through, I create a new tougher outer shell… Its weight slowing me down considerably but never impeding my progress. Although it feels as if the added weight might not allow for me to swim up for a gasp of enlivening fresh air, I always make it. As I crest, I inhale life and continue on my passage.
I’ve been swimming most of my life searching for land, a respite from the constant oceanic storms of like. I admit, I do see the calm before these storms but even during the calm, I swim…hoping for shore break and sand to caress my ankles…but how much safer would I be on land from these storms? I suppose instead of swimming, I would be running…and what type of respite is that?
Swimmers in the Oceans of Despair
Who’ve weathered all storms subdued or alive
Drown in the calm when they forget
They still must swim to survive
One day in the clear blue horizon
I will set eyes on my first glimpse of land
Until then I swim endlessly
With this seashell in my hand