This essay describes effective listening, barriers to it, and how it can be learned.
IIntroduction
effective listening is a very important communications skill, but one that is not often recognized for being the vital activity it is.
This paper will examine effective listening, and how it contributes to clear communication.
IIDiscussion
When people speak, presumably it’s because they have something they want to say. In order for them to actually communicate their thoughts, they have to have someone listening to them.
Listening is more than simply hearing words; it is an active effort to be part of the conversation, even though another person is talking. An effective listener is as important as a good speaker, but it takes an effort to perfect this skill.
There are barriers to effective listening that much be recognized and dealt with before one can learn how to listen correctly. First, no two people have exactly the same life experiences, so the meaning the listener infers from the speaker will not be exactly the same thing the speaker meant. (Obviously these are not gross errors in inference but very subtle shades of meaning.) (McLellan, PG).
Second, people often hear only what they want to hear. They “distort information to fit how they would like to see things done.” This includes completely “not hearing” negative information because they don’t want to deal with bad news. (McLellan, PG).
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Other reasons for poor listening include the fact that people think much more rapidly than they talk, which means that it’s easy for the listener to let his attention wander to something else while the other person is speaking. In addition, the subject may be too complex for the listener to comprehend, leading again to a loss of attention. Also, because the thought process is so much faster than speaking, the listener may already make assumptions before the other person finishes speaking. Finally, the speaker may have a poor style of delivery that distracts the listener; the listener may not be “in the mood to listen,” or simply not interested in the subject under discussion. (McLellan, PG).
Obviously, then, there are significant issues people have to address in order to become effective listeners. The best technique is to become an “active listener.” (McLellan, PG).
An active listening Concepts and its Applications to Education">active listener is one who focuses on what the other person is saying. This is difficult, because we all tend to focus on our own thoughts; it’s a human trait. An active listener remains focused on the other person; he hears everything the speaker has to say before he makes a reply. He resists the temptation to interrupt, and instead pays close attention to the points that the other person is making. Such active listening gives the person a chance to understand what is really important to the speaker. (Keep in mind that people generally cover several subjects while they talk, and the most important to them is usually near the end of the talk; they “work up” to it.) When the person is finished, the listener can ask for clarification of anything they didn’t understand. Another technique is to repeat the main points of what the other person said. This reassures him that the listener has truly been paying attention, and understood what he said. (McLellan, PG).
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In order to become a better listener, McLellan suggests a person follow several steps. First, he/she must want to become a better listener. Secondly, they must stop talking. Third, they should look at the speaker. Fourth, they must “leave … emotions behind.” It’s not possible to listen and actually understand the speaker when you’re upset or angry. Fifth, the listener has to “get rid of distractions.” It’s not possible to listen effectively if you have to try to split your attention among the speaker, the TV, a phone call, and all the other distractions of modern life. (This goes back to the idea that the listener must focus on the speaker.) Sixth, the listener must “get” the main points of the speaker’s talk. (McLellan, PG).
The remaining five steps are somewhat subtler and deal with the way in which the listener receives the information. McLellan says the hearer should “not argue mentally” with the speaker. Simply listen attentively and note the main points without allowing emotions to get in the way. Then, “listen for what is not said.” Sometimes speakers say more when they refuse to name a name; or they start to say something and then stop; or their body language becomes tense. These are all clues that something very important is being repressed.
The last three points are also subtle: avoid jumping to conclusions; avoid hasty judgments; and “recognize your own prejudice.” (McLellan, PG).
The last point is extremely important, and also very difficult, because most of us would like to believe that we have no biases. Of course this is untrue; everyone has some sort of prejudice. We must learn to recognize it and guard against it creeping in when we hear someone express a viewpoint that differs from our own.
IIIConclusion
Effective listening is a very active skill, but not one that comes easily to everyone; the good news, however, is that it can be learned.
Outline
IIntroduction
IIDiscussion
AWhy people talk
BBarriers to effective listening
CHow to become an active listener
IIIConclusion
IVReference
Reference
McLellan, Hilary. “Guidelines for Effective Listening.” Empire State College [Web site]. 1999-2002. Accessed: 13 Mar 2003. http://www.esc.edu/ESConline/Across_ESC/cdl/CDL.nsf/3cc42a422514347a8525671d0049f395/5c0bdccfe496e36d85256a180049f466?OpenDocument
The Essay on Listening 3
Walking into Holmes Student Center for a presentation by Miller Brewing Company, I had no clue what to expect. As I took a seat towards the front, I notice that there were not many people there. I planned to listen for appreciation, so I could learn what the speaker was trying to teach us. The first thing I notice about the speaker as he walked into the auditorium was that his forehead was ...